An app to track and shame friends who are late


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If you want to unfriend people, there are quicker ways…


Pah! Back in my day, people couldn’t automate their passive-aggression.


Who needs an app for that? My spouse did a great job of shaming me out of my habitual tardiness. I was horrible in that regard. I would sometimes keep people waiting for 20 minutes simply because I was too lazy to leave the house earlier.



Sounds like a good way to lose friends.

Shaming rarely works, and there many things that I can think of that make a person a “bad friend” before mere tardiness.

Like revealing embarrassing secrets told in confidence, or sleeping with one’s spouse.


This can also make for very good friends, to be fair.



Christ, what an asshole. If you know they’re going to be late, tell them it starts 30 minutes early.


I think it’d be more useful for tracking my own lateness so that I could own up to it better.


Feel free to explain that after I make a few clarifications:

  1. I’m not married, but I believe cheating is wrong. If you’re referring to polyamory, that’s very different than cheating, IMO.

  2. Personally, I have an ironclad rule when it comes to any prospective partners; if you’ve ever had sex with my best friend, my sister or my mom, you are automatically penis non grata, because YUCK.

  3. Lastly, if a “friend” sleeps with an SO of mine and I find out about it, then that’s two less people in my life.

(Trust is a rare & fragile commodity.)

Okay, go.


You wasted 6 minutes and 10 seconds of my life over two occasions, Kristi. FUCK YOU, KRISTI!


Whoa. I just. Whoa.

I’m a pretty busy guy- lots to do, not a lot of time to get it done, etc etc.
But minutes?
I mean, keeping a counter of the minutes (and seconds!) late that a person is late?
That’s A-level assholery.

What VC funded this mess? Who thought there was a market here? What’s the monetization plan?
Nevermind. I don’t care.


Someone else’s spouse you meant. Sleeping with one’s spouse parses as the one you are actually married to.


Clearly my quick jest has caused for more confusion than it was worth. It wasn’t my intention question anyone’s values around sexual relationships. My apologies.



Talk about anal retentive.

Do I really need to write everything out as simply as possible to avoid attracting the attention of pedants?

Should I resort to over-explaining every comment I make, thereby becoming as tedious as they often are?

No harm, no foul; but an aptly placed ‘LOL’ goes a long way.


I’m always the prompt friend, so all the other people drifting in whenever can often annoy me. I also can be pretty passive aggressive, but even so, I’m not gonna use this app.


Do friends still get together in real life? I haven’t seen my friends in years.


They do.

If for no other reason than to be sure they’ve not been replaced by chatbots.

Have your friends been trying to sell you on Russian dating or free-to-play gambling sites lately?


Passive-agressive anal-retentive techno-nomadic poly-hypenation made perfect!