An app to track and shame friends who are late

We tease you because we love you… :wink:


Have I mentioned that my allergies make me irritable and, dare I say it, bitchier than normal?


I come from quite a laid back culture when it comes to timeliness, but I live in a very different culture. In Ireland, I generally wouldn’t come on time when visiting a friend (a little bit late is nice), but here in Germany people sometimes come early. It’s just rude. They also say “yes” straight away if you offer them some cake and don’t say “sorry” if you step on their foot by mistake.


Who wouldn’t? Seriously… I mean cake. Who says NO to that?


i like this


Of course you do.


I have done this. It worked.


Weirdly, I just finished an app that tallies the number of passive aggressive acts committed by friends and myself and compares them*. How convenient that I can just hook the output of this app right into mine.

Creating the app counted against me.*

**I’m kidding, of course. I didn’t actually create this app - I have no friends to use it on.



Wait, I’m sorry, you weren’t actually offering me cake.


If I had a friend use this app on me I would find them to be too high strung or passive aggressive and just stop spending time with them. Pulling this kind of shit on people is a different level of asshole I just don’t want to be around


If a friend of mine was three minutes late on two different occasions I would… fuck, I doubt I would even notice, TBH.


But if you late shame people they’ll only get later in the future. Oh… and watches are all inaccurate. And lateness is a media-construct promoted by the patriarchy.

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Do you force them to drink it, stick the bottle where the sun don’t shine, or hit them with it?



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“I used to be 20 minutes late”? “Tell them things start 30 minutes earlier”?

I’d love to have friends and relatives only as late as that. Most people in my acquaintance are on-timers – or they’ll even show up early and help get things ready – but the few who are late are often 2, 3, 4 hours late. It’s not unusual for them to show up just when people are thinking of leaving. Last weekend we almost lost part of our reserved seating at a restaurant because one party of four was just over an hour late.

And I doubt an app like this would work on any of them. They’d either:

  1. Laugh it off and claim we just don’t appreciate their charming quirks
  2. Cry it off and claim we just don’t appreciate the realities of their lives
  3. Tell us smart phones are dehumanising, and why are we being so anal about a social event anyhow?
  4. Upon their eventual arrival, talk loud and long about nothing but the app for an hour, listing all the tips they’ve learned (but don’t use) for being on time
  5. Monopolise the conversation with a long non-apology, reciting everything they’ve done since waking up last Wednesday
  6. Claim we’re hypocrites, because wasn’t it just two years ago we were late when we were behind that truck fire that shut down the highway? See? Things HAPPEN!

Last point: If it is a couple or group who are always late, please don’t blame all of them. One or more of them may already be furious with the actual culprit for making them all late.


I have that with two people who regularly come at least 15-30 minutes early. Every time. Actually, now that I think about it, they don’t even laugh when I point out that ONCE AGAIN I’ve had to get out of the shower to answer the door. They just look at me like I don’t exist in their world.

Family, obviously. I know better than to have friends like that.


Eeep. I’d claim I didn’t hear them over the noise of the shower.


Now that’s just not possible. I think you’ve been getting performance statistics from the internet


Do you arrive early or late for the theatre?