App alerts you when your fly is down. It knows.

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Originally published at: App alerts you when your fly is down. It knows. | Boing Boing

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So now I’m expected to spend a small fortune on “smart” trousers to save me the effort of looking down?

Not for me, thank you.

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What if the app goes down?

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How long before it’s hacked?

“Your fly is down. … Ha ha! Made you look!”

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So what notifies me when I’ve forgotten to put on my pants?

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The app alert that says “connection not found” presumably.

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You have to pay extra for that.

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Never Mind GIF by Scout Durwood

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Sadly, as one gets older, apps like this become more and more important.

Waiting for one that will tell my that my glasses are on the top of my head.

Frustrated Cat GIF

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The developers will then need to pull their socks up.

(And… button flies?)

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Pants not found. Abort, Retry, Ignore?

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I’m sure it will survive the laundry just fine.

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So we now come to discover that the notorious performance by Rudy Giuliani was just meant as a viral ad for this app.
And y’all were so mean to him…

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I hope that the alert is something subtle, like this.

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Now, before I tell you dang kids to get offa my lawn, I will remind y’all that in my day we didn’t need no fancy computerized gimmicks and such to tell us the barn doors was open, that’s what the good lord made cool breezes for, and they was mighty refreshing too.

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The old app was better, just a paperclip through the zip and around the top button.

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Just two years ago (mere minutes ago in these pandemic times), I negotiated with and bought a car from a fucking used car salesman whose fly was down the entire time. Ugh. He could have done with something like this app.

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Yup. I’d like a ‘where did I put my vape’ one (why I could always locate a pack of cigarettes, but never know where that stupid little electric bastard is is a mystery for the ages). Also, a ‘who the hell is that person who just waved hello at me?’ one. And… And…

Okay, just a general computerised doohickey that can tell me what to do, and where all my stuff is, and what I’m supposed to be doing right now, dammit.

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So many haters here. I think this is a delightful idea and I’m glad someone figured out the details enough to actually build it. It’s not like this person is hitting up VCs or trying to crowdfund, jeez.

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Thanks to Covid, I wear real pants so little, that I do often forget to zip!