Depends on the breed. My turkeys fly well enough to nest down in annoyingly hard to reach areas. It’s quite an unsettling thing to walk to their pen, see they didn’t bother going inside for the night, and look up to see a half-dozen looming, 20-lb beasts glaring down from a dozen feet up in their empress tree. And I’ve never helped them mate, though they are not exactly graceful when they do. I would speculate mine could survive a helicopter toss but I won’t be conducting that experiment without a significant grant first.
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This implies an outside force, as humans are to turkeys. Nobody’s stuffing humans except humans. We breed ourselves for obesity but then we go and waste a good thing by being snobs about cannibalism.
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I’m as ignorant as Mr. Carlson when it comes to turkeys but reading through the comments it would appear that you are incorrect. Domestic turkeys cannot fly, especially after being dropped out of a helicopter. The foundation of the joke is solid. You can stop being annoyed.
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I’d argue that the lack of access to healthy foods for many working class people makes it far more difficult to make choices in the first place. Eating healthy foods is often not an affordable options…
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Speak for yourself!
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I enjoy Alice’s Restaurant, this clip, Burroughs’ prayer, and even a traditional round cylinder of “cranberries” from a can. It’s all good.
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Yes this! Just a couple years ago I started watching this each year around this time. And the Babes in Toyland theme is so melancholy to my ears, hits my nostalgia buttons for cozy winter nights.
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We fat all creatures else to fat us,
and we fat ourselves for maggots. Your fat King and your
lean beggar is but variable service - two dishes, but to one
table.
Happy Thanksgiving 
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This is a favorite in our house around Thanksgiving right after WKRP.
And while it’s not Thanksgiving, Mr. Bean and the giant turkey on his head with the dinosaur nativity is a classic.
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We have been making ourselves collectively fatter through unhealthy dietary practices and reduced exercise, but that’s not the same thing as breeding for obesity.
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Richard Sanders is so good as Les Nessman in this clip. His haunted face when he recounts to events back in the studio is really convincing.
@tcg550 I love Kelsey Grammer’s reaction to the yams.
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But faster than you’d think. I have two friends who went looking for wild turkeys. One with a gun and the other for shits and giggles(an excuse for a hike). Unarmed friend got a little separated but noticed some tracks. Tracks fell into his friend’s boot tracks. Then saw both tracks falling into friend’s tracks.
Way ahead, friend with gun eventually turned around. Saw the turkey that was following him.
Bird flew off before he could raise and aim.
Wild turkeys are both curious and smart.
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I loved that song when I was a kid.
Went to a party
Ate turkey all night
Yelled at my anti-vaxx in-laws and started up a fight
But now I am sated
You’re out of luck
I’m rolling down the stairs, too fat to fuck
I’m too fat to fuck
You’re too fat to fuck
Too fat to fuck
I’m too fat, too fat
Too fat to fuck
I hate your politics
I hate your guns
Defunding cops sounds like loads and loads of fun
But in my room
Wish you we’re gone instead
You bawl like the baby in Eraserhead
I’m too fat to fuck
I’m too fat to fuck
Too fat to fuck
It’s all I need right now
Too fat to fuck
I’m too fat to fuck
You’re too fat to fuck
Too fat to fuck
I’m sick soft gooey and cold
Too fat to fuck
I’m about to drop
My head’s a mess
The only salvation is I’ll never see you again
You’re fucked in the head
It makes it worse
Take out your fuckin’ brains, right-wing politics’r a curse
I’m too fat to fuck
You’re too fat to fuck
Too fat to fuck
It’s all I need right now, oh baby
I’m melting like an ice cream bar, oh baby
And now I got diarrhea
Too fat to fuck
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, oh
(Def too drunk to spoof)
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Re: that comic: an argument could be made that buying organic raises the popularity and acceptance of that mode of production, thus lowering prices and making it more accessible to more people over the long run?
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Sure, but right now, it’s not and it still isn’t. And there are people with almost no easy access to ANY fresh foods. Food desserts are a thing. There are plenty of people trying to solve that issue - community food gardens, food forests in urban areas, farmer’s markets, bringing in grocery stores, etc - but there is still the problem of not being able to access fresh food for many Americans.
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I don’t disagree, but those two pictures aren’t really a fair comparison. The domestic tom is presenting. When they’re not all puffed up trying to get laid they look just about the same as the wild variety. Neither wild nor domesticated are amazing flyers, but I’m sure the extra weight and faster growth aren’t doing the domestic turkey any favors in the flight department.
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