Aw crap volume two

So the guy that fired me promised, promised me a call today. HR was there. We were to talk about… Details.

His note on my termination was ‘non responsive’.

He never called me, and I just texted him. He is tired and had an emotional day, so he is hitting bed. Can I call him in the morning after he cycles?!

With friends like these, right? (hulk smash, puny god)

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He is a great guy, and I’ll bet @codinghorror knows him. And we will repair our friendship. But many, I mean many ‘dead arms’ will be required.

I think the Veep of hr has my back. At the very least I think she will be implementing… Management training.

Also, NDAs executed for other opportunities, so I get to learn more secrets. But I, as always, will purposefully firewall myself from anything too sensitive.

BTW, in retrospect that sounds kinda mean. He is an ex punk, and I am an ex ‘beat up target’. So I may use loaded language to describe alpha male relationships.

…aaaand… A VC that wants me to look at their portfolio. Is that the dark work?

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@Mindysan33, @marilove, @chgoliz

What should I do for my SO for being so supportive?she has been soo loving, but is a little (lot) raggety.

Wheels within wheels, man. As for the “great guy,” I always have to gauge that by how they act when the chips are down. Did he actually do the right thing (from various perspectives), or was there more CYA involved than was absolutely necessary?

Hell, what do I know… obviously you and he know each other a few orders of magnitude better than I do, but man, I hate to think your ass was hung out to dry unnecessarily. I hope he takes the first opportunity to make right whatever he can.

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Okay, drunk talk here. Put on your filters, or your anti-memory helmets. sigh I am going to do this. @marilove, please don’t literally flay me.

How does one deal with asynchronous relationships? She is the smart, hard working one without a job. I am the street hustler who hates people but is charming. 16 years of marriage and I feel the strain.

Heh, she got her libido back last year at the same time I lost mine (shakes fist!!!). I want kids soo bad, but being sucker punched so hard financially and physically has been like an epic Mike Tyson fight.

Okay, I double promised I would stop complaining Monday morning. I broke my 24 hour promise, but alcohol may have been involved.

Totes ma goats over share. But the upside is I have tons of books to write.


I was hoping, and that is what fantastically failed a few hours ago.

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That is another part that stings. I messed up. But they did too in one of those 49/51 ratio things, and won’t even talk to me. Even when they promised. Even when I’ve been to the dudes wedding.

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Yeah, I was afraid of that… but the fact that you still regard him as a great guy makes me feel that you have a humane streak in you. That perhaps you think he might have been painted into a corner, from his perspective anyway, or may be beating himself up a bit for being unable to stand up for you for whatever reason.

In any case, though he let you down, you didn’t automatically label him a traitor or dickweed or spineless company man, even here among people who don’t even know the guy. In fact, first thing we heard about this was you mentioning how you fucked up, and you saying that it was entirely your fault.

For what it’s worth, those two reactions to what happened make me feel a whole lot of respect for you. That’s some (regrettably) uncommon integrity there.


Wow, yeah, that is magnificent over share. Time for the seltzer water and Advil. And some B vitamins.

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Call him tomorrow but not too early. He may be a flake and or afraid of confrontation and that sort of stuff gets amplified between friends. Hope for the best but start the job hunt in full force asap. If he does flake, decide if you can move past that or not. If not, just go quietly and move on. Not all friendships are forever AND THAT IS OK AND HEALTHY.


I think I missed some context. This may not work out. Try not to burn too many bridges but sometimes shit happens and you gotta move on.

Oh, I know. But he is on the board of directors of literally every job I am interested in. There is no avoiding.

And being fired by a flake for being a flake is… Not comfortable.

(FSM, I swear I will stop complaining when I sober up)

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Yeah, one strike and you are out. No do overs, no advice, no warnings. One and done. (Oh god, I’m doing it again… And $175k, my liquid savings lost (actually waaay more than that, but I may have to vomit again today))

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Job woes and unemployment are super stressful. Its normal to have some conflict. You say you lack a libido, but it’s not all about penetrative sec you know. Get some nutrogena (sp?) In any drugstore or target and ask her to give you a fifteen min backrub and then tell her you will do the same. But make hers at least 30 min without saying so. And make sure to give her a nice butt rub. I’m serious. And then go down on her if you two are normally enjoy that.

Also lots of cuddling and sharing of fav movies or Tv shows. And keep her 100% in the loop on everything job related good and bad. Don’t pretend everything is peachy even when its not.


I really like your advice here. God knows I’ve had a couple occasions when I left a good friend to twist in the wind because I lacked the courage or integrity to stand up for them at a difficult juncture, and I’ve lived with those regrets for every day of my life since then. One of my longest-lived friendships was able to survive such a thing, for which I am eternally grateful, but a couple of them didn’t, and though I really regret that fact, it was indeed okay and healthy for the parties involved to just move on in their lives without me. In retrospect, they were better off that way.

Do what you gotta do, @japhroaig, and yeah, “decide if you can move past that or not.”


If youre not brought back, be super respectful and proffessional and then confidently ask for a reference.


Job and unemployment anxiety is the worst. Freak the fuck out tonight. Drink plenty of water and get some sleep. Tomorrow you can deal.