Can I plant a thought virus in your ear hole? Am I really stomping around the house in just khaki shorts, eating kimchi with a cat on my shoulder?
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Is it actually possible to binge eat kimchi?
Am I doing it wrong?
He looks like a real Duchamp painting right there.
Dunno. I love the stuff, though.
What are the chances of that. 
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Know what the secret to making world class kimchi is? Fish sauce and/or fermented oysters.
I use the fermented prawn goop (jeotgal) instead of oysters, but yeah, fish sauce is mandatory.
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I think “Fermented Cabbage” is my next band name.
Wait, I have one better.
Fomented Cabbage
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There is a glut of vegetarian kimchi here, it is expensive and tastes like cardboard. Also, I puree a head of garlic for each pint.
Gah, even the Greeks made the terrible phrase, fomented cabbage!!
Kimchi retox!
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Have you ever come across a Roman dish called moretum?
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Kimchi powers UNTIE!!!
(wait, what?)
No… Tell me more?
(I didn’t even know what a syllabub was till four years ago, I got learning to do)
Oh gawd, I am making a moretum for a friends birthday tomorrow (today?)
It’s pecorino cheese smashed together with raw garlic and herbs and a little oil and vinegar. Use plenty of garlic.
My recipe is something along the lines of:
250g Pecorino Romana
4 heads garlic
Handful of chopped coriander leaf
Couple teaspoons chopped celery leaf
Couple teaspoons of rue (Warning - Abortifactant - Not for pregnant women) or dill if preferred.
Splash of wine vinegar and oil.
Bung dry stuff in food processor, blitz, add liquids blitz, some more. Done.
Or you could go all trad and use a slave with a mortarium to do it for you, but food processors are cheaper.
And, as always, taste and adapt as you go.
Serve on toasted rough bread.
Trivia:
It’s taken from the poem “Moretum” by Virgil, where the official motto of the US is also taken.
So “E Pluribus Unum” (From the many, one) actually describes the making of a ploughman’s lunch. 
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sounds delightful
This is delightful. The b-day bash I am hosting will have a guest of honor that won’t appreciate it, but his wife Sooo will.
Hell yes! I did when I started making it.
Depends how your digestive system handles cabbage. It might be a good thing that you lost the pants.
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Isn’t that the literal worst? I just spent how long fermenting this and I scarfed it down in twenty four minutes?
