Badass Delvers of the Dragon: Round 1 – Cherry Gris

Continuing the adventures of Steerswoman Renli (@gwwar), Con Hổ Nguyen (@penguinchris), and SsubTerryNeon with his faithful dino-mount, Stegma.

“I don’t think we’re gonna find nuthin’ useful in here, Boss. This here cave is too dark and damp.”

“It’sss sssupposed to be, Sssteg. Cavesss aren’t known for their sunny, open floorplans, and we want to find a sssource of water.”

“What fer? Your uric paste gettin’ a bit uncomfortably concentrated? I think I got some more of that special ointment here in m’saddlebag…”

Shut up, Ssstegma!

“Hey, Boss, lookit the bubbles in that puddle the Steerswoman’s hoverin’ at. Think that means something?”

“It meansss she was right. C’mon, you big lug. Now’s our turn to take point.”

SSSPA-LOOOSSHHH!!!

“I dunno, Boss. Doesn’t seem all that deep yet. You sure this goes anywhere?”

“Jussst feel around with your toes. I’ll duck under and sssee if my goggles can help.”

“Hey, Boss, these bubbles sure do tickle… YEEOWGLUBGLUBGLBGLB!!

“Sssteg? SSSTEG!!!”

“Oh, if anything happensss to that oversized dipshit down here, his ma will never forgive me.”

Dim and tepid soon led to dark and frigid. By the imagined beam of his pseudofunctional headlight, SssubTerry spied the lazily swinging tail of the stegosaur, and grasped tightly the rearmost tail spike. The surprisingly svelte thyreophoran tugged his employer steadily down a lightless underwater tunnel, until SssubTerry thought his primitive lungs might burst.

And then they surfaced, followed closely by the female humans.

SssubTerry gasped, black spots circling before his augmented eyes.

“Chrissst on a carnosaur, Sssteg, you tryin’ to drown uss?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry, Boss. Fergot yer lungs are so puny.”

“Where the hell are we?”

“Hmm. Looksss peaceful enough.”

sssssllluuuurrrppppp

“Boss, you better drain your tympanic membranes. And look behind you.”

“Huh? Aw, c’mon, Sssteg. Don’t get ssstartled. It’s just a… worm or caterpillar or something crawlin’ on my goggles. Nothing to hop up on the coffee table over.”

“Wipe off those goggles, Boss. That caterpillar isn’t an inch-long worm on your shades. It’s a five-foot beast crawling on my dorsal scales.”

“Ew. That’sss disssgussting, Sssteg.”

“Get it offa me, wouldja?”

“I dunno, man. Too creepy for me. Can’t you jussst reach over your left shoulder and, like, flick it off?”

“There are several more swimming up behind you, Boss.”

“Ouch. Okay, thisss is getting embarrasssssing.”

“Hey there, Madam Sssteerssswoman… may I sssuggessst we… urrgghh… combine our dirty-fighting strengths? Wonder-Twin powersss… activate!!

High Difficulty - 13 to beat

Continuing the discussion from Coming Soon: Badass Delvers of the Dragon:

“Sssteg… lemme get into your ssstarboard sssaddlebag.”

“I finished off the last pouch of grape Big League Chew this afternoon, Boss.”

“Not… what… I’m… reaching… for.”


@gwwar shall add her Teamwork strategy below, and roll for both of us… that is, rolling my 4d6 for Goddamned Dirtyfighting Raider, and trying to add a six or two with her own cliche

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