Badass Delvers of the Dragon: Round 1 – Cherry Gris

[Hustling his bounty past the inspection point, Red says a quiet prayer of thanks to Kivuli, the Goddess of Safe Journeys. He drags the three Glavin’s Majestic Caps to the private room at the Cherry Gris and awaits further instruction. Breathing a sigh of relief, he inadvertently inhales a large number of spores. As his higher faculties diminish due to Glavin’s Intoxication, he manages to scribble a few additional notes into the margins of his bone book.]

“Schhhhim? I gotta caps for ya, buddy. Gotta caps. Three of 'um. Caps. Yeah.”

[Red slumps to the ground as the spores overcome his faculties. In the moments before he passes out, he begins to understand why someone might be so interested in this particular mushroom. Will his notes be sufficiently detailed to remind him when he awakes? Only time will tell.]


Glavin’s Intoxication changes Red in a strange way…

During the next situation where Red cannot see due to lack of light, he discovers he now has dark-vision. In pitch black, assuming his vision is otherwise unimpaired (ie, not blindfolded), he can see as if it were lit by the full moon. If Red attempts to do anything in such an situation, he can do so with one additional dice.


Continuing the adventures of Steerswoman Renli (@gwwar), Con Hổ Nguyen (@penguinchris), and SsubTerryNeon with his faithful dino-mount, Stegma.

“I don’t think we’re gonna find nuthin’ useful in here, Boss. This here cave is too dark and damp.”

“It’sss sssupposed to be, Sssteg. Cavesss aren’t known for their sunny, open floorplans, and we want to find a sssource of water.”

“What fer? Your uric paste gettin’ a bit uncomfortably concentrated? I think I got some more of that special ointment here in m’saddlebag…”

Shut up, Ssstegma!

“Hey, Boss, lookit the bubbles in that puddle the Steerswoman’s hoverin’ at. Think that means something?”

“It meansss she was right. C’mon, you big lug. Now’s our turn to take point.”


“I dunno, Boss. Doesn’t seem all that deep yet. You sure this goes anywhere?”

“Jussst feel around with your toes. I’ll duck under and sssee if my goggles can help.”

“Hey, Boss, these bubbles sure do tickle… YEEOWGLUBGLUBGLBGLB!!

“Sssteg? SSSTEG!!!”

“Oh, if anything happensss to that oversized dipshit down here, his ma will never forgive me.”

Dim and tepid soon led to dark and frigid. By the imagined beam of his pseudofunctional headlight, SssubTerry spied the lazily swinging tail of the stegosaur, and grasped tightly the rearmost tail spike. The surprisingly svelte thyreophoran tugged his employer steadily down a lightless underwater tunnel, until SssubTerry thought his primitive lungs might burst.

And then they surfaced, followed closely by the female humans.

SssubTerry gasped, black spots circling before his augmented eyes.

“Chrissst on a carnosaur, Sssteg, you tryin’ to drown uss?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry, Boss. Fergot yer lungs are so puny.”

“Where the hell are we?”

“Hmm. Looksss peaceful enough.”


“Boss, you better drain your tympanic membranes. And look behind you.”

“Huh? Aw, c’mon, Sssteg. Don’t get ssstartled. It’s just a… worm or caterpillar or something crawlin’ on my goggles. Nothing to hop up on the coffee table over.”

“Wipe off those goggles, Boss. That caterpillar isn’t an inch-long worm on your shades. It’s a five-foot beast crawling on my dorsal scales.”

“Ew. That’sss disssgussting, Sssteg.”

“Get it offa me, wouldja?”

“I dunno, man. Too creepy for me. Can’t you jussst reach over your left shoulder and, like, flick it off?”

“There are several more swimming up behind you, Boss.”

“Ouch. Okay, thisss is getting embarrasssssing.”

“Hey there, Madam Sssteerssswoman… may I sssuggessst we… urrgghh… combine our dirty-fighting strengths? Wonder-Twin powersss… activate!!

High Difficulty - 13 to beat

Continuing the discussion from Coming Soon: Badass Delvers of the Dragon:

“Sssteg… lemme get into your ssstarboard sssaddlebag.”

“I finished off the last pouch of grape Big League Chew this afternoon, Boss.”

“Not… what… I’m… reaching… for.”

@gwwar shall add her Teamwork strategy below, and roll for both of us… that is, rolling my 4d6 for Goddamned Dirtyfighting Raider, and trying to add a six or two with her own cliche


“Wait, look up! I’ve heard tales about these cave worms…”

“…beautiful. And that worm in front of us must be it’s full-sized cousin. Do you think they’re attracted to light?”

Renli takes another glance at her torch, before smirking and reaching for something in her pack.

“Quick SssubTerryNeon (@Donald_Petersen) , try to circle around, while I distract it! I have an idea.”

“If this works, someone owes me a drink back in town.”

@discbot roll 4d6 for Goddamned Dirtyfighting Raider (4)

@discbot roll 3d6 for Dirty Fighter (3)


@gwwar the 4d6 dice reads: 13 for Goddamned Dirtyfighting Raider (4) (3,1,3,6)

@gwwar the 3d6 dice reads: 4 for Dirty Fighter (3) (1,1,2)

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“Well, here goes!”

“No! It went under!”

“…I’m all out of juice. SssubTerryNeon (@Donald_Petersen) Tell me what’s going on!”



“Mmmfffmm… (gulp)… (belch)… don’t worry about me.”

“That’sss covered in poison!!”

“Yeah… tastes like shit, Boss.”

“It’ll kill you!”

“Nope… prolly just make me puke, since I’m herbivorous. I think yer poison’s past its expiration date by a few hunnerd years.”

“These bugs jussst won’t ssstop coming!”

“But Boss, I sssee a trailhead jussst on shore over yonder…”

“We’ll never make it without a resssupply. We gotta head back and regroup. If only my poisons had ssslowed them down a bit more! If only Renli’s flamer fuel hadn’t leaked out in the underwater tunnel…”

“That was her? I thought you’d just lost control of yer cloaca. That was sssome foul-tassstin’ pollution, Boss.”

“The more highly-evolved creatures learn to swim with their mouths shut, Steg.”

“Learn sumpin’ new ever’ day.”

Renli’s Dirty Fighting reduced to (2), SssubTerryNeon’s Goddamned Dirty Fighting reduced to (3)


“I’m… I’m sorry I let ya down, Boss. I hope you can remember me fondly someday…”

“Oh, shut up, Dramasaurus Regina. One good ressstorative nap and we’ll be back in businesssss.”


If you’re doing teamwork, you keep working at the mission until someone’s cliche is reduced to 0. You haven’t failed the mission, just failed an attempt at this challenge.



Could we conceivably roll 3d6 for me and 2d6 for @gwwar? (Not that I’m gonna yet; I have to consult with the team, of course, and our chances would be markedly worse this time). Or do we have to try a different tack?

Should we assume that our almost-success (missed it by one point AGAIN) didn’t soften up the enemy at all, and we still need to roll a 14 or better?

Deucedly crap luck with the dice roll this time. I blame discbot’s programmer. :wink:


So, there we were, lost in the tunnels. Had been there for what seemed like a week. Schim was still pissed off about the trick with the wheel and refusing to help get them back on track.

D’Melzaa attempted a conciliatory tone with her

“Schim, buddy - I get it - that was a bit off of Silas to play that trick on you, but if he hadn’t, we’d still be in Ridwhick, wouldn’t we? And those guards didn’t look friendly. Avo’s sweaty palms have taken care of his map, so here we are, stuck, unless you can help us out. You know these tunnels, right? Do you really want to stay down here, or do you want to get back to Brigvark? Sulking isn’t going to get us anywhere. Can you help us out, please?”

Navigate to Brigvark with Schim’s help (Difficulty 8)

@discbot roll 4d6 for Gift of the gab (4)

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@daneel, I understand:

@discbot roll d20 - roll a single 20 sided dice
@discbot roll 2d20 - roll two dice
@discbot roll 2d20+5 - roll two dice with a positive modifier
@discbot roll 2d20-5 - roll two dice with a negative modifier
@discbot roll d20 your extra text here - rolls and parrots back your extra text
@discbot hello - discbot will respond with a greeting
@discbot help - shows all discbot commands

@discbot roll 4d6

@daneel the 4d6 dice reads: 15 (5,4,1,5)

Grudgingly, the still pissed-off Schim led D’Melzaa, Silas, Avo and Shmu to Brigvark.

One job left, finding somewhere to stay.

negotiating lodgings in Brigvark (Difficulty 10).

Anyone got any ideas?

(@ratel, @SteampunkBanana, @uphill)



I wonder if our unstable squaddie could negotiate us a good rate on a lodging?

Hope I’m not intruding here…

When I was a teen, we’d circumvent the purveyors of lodging and find a brothel to stay in. Yeah, that’s how we did it back then.

Well, I may know a guy.

I don’t know man…let’s think about this: pangolean prostitutes.


It’s too bad Eroticon VI is so far, and in a completely different universe.


Standin’ at the crossroads,
Head hung down and cryin’
Standin’ at the crossroads,
Wishin’ that beard would be dryin’
Thinkin’ about some booty,
Down a tunnel yet be found…

@discbot roll 4d6 for Follicle Spectacle (4) to identify a dormant passage by it’s lack of breezeway.