Charming little princess, why don’t you go ask Uncle Watney, over there?
[Shoos her over towards @SteampunkBanana]
I’m sure he’d looooove to explain it to you, as many times as you ask!
6 Likes
Uncle Watney, what is a cosmope?
4 Likes
why yes, Dottie @Old , the “cosmote” is a sort castle.
Were you to ask the… loquacious… Mr Watney @steampunkbanana, he might say "Cosmos means ‘the universe’ from the ancient Greek Kosmos meaning ‘order, good order, orderly arrangement.’ " Which is why you shouldn’t ask gravity-well confined biologics with random genetics – they don’t identify their own Type II errors.
Back on Terra, there were many princesses like you, Dottie. Each was special and powerful in her own way. Although none were quite like you. What they did was called “Cosplay”
Among their other princess duties, these princesses had to keep creepy guys away
But any princess knows how to keep away bad people: build a moat.
Over the years, “Cosplay Princesse’s Moat” has been shortened to just
“Cosmote”.
and these Cosmotes are beautiful places, Dottie, just like you.
–Hans Landau
12 Likes
Well, I’m really glad you asked. A “cosnope” is exactly what happens when the cosmos joins you back up with dirty, bad, mean people like Tex Ass over there. He’s the kind of lizard that would leave you stranded at the store somewhere and never look back for you. Definitely stranger danger.
Jonesey, that cat over there with the banana is very nice however. Yes, I know! A cat with a banana! So silly. It reminds me of this one time, on Mars, did you know that I got left on Mars and had to survive there by myself for 550 sols?
A sol? Oh, that’s a Martian day, because Mars takes longer to go around the sun, it’s not called a day, which is specific to Earth-based time systems. So yes, that’s right, I was on Mars alone for more than 550 days. A sol actually adds 40 minutes. Well, 39 minutes and 35 seconds for those who like to be precise. Yes, I think a robot banana would be very precise, that’s a good point. So, let’s see, it would be, ahm, carry the one, add the two, divide by sixty, and it turns out that I was on Mars alone for an additional 15 Earth days, so, yes, that’s right, 565 days! You’re very good at math, did anyone ever tell you that?
Boy, I’d like to say that I really appreciate you being such a good listener. Some would say that you’re not listening at all, what with all these Legos that you’re playing with and not looking at me, but I certainly appreciate you being such a good friend. The universe could use more people like you in it. You wouldn’t leave anyone else behind, you’re a Nice Girl. Not like that Tex. You watch out around him, yeah, narrow your eyes like that when you look at him, well, the tongue might be a bit much, he hasn’t done anything to you yet.
Look, I have to go get ready to go do this incredibly dangerous science mission. I might not be around as much afterwards, so, if you don’t see me around over, say, the next two weeks, could you water my plant in my room? Feel free to take some of the chocolate I have in the top drawer of my desk. And, in fact, if you see anything you like in there, feel free to just take it. I’d prefer you to have anything you find useful in there instead of it sitting around going unused. Sure, I’lljust get it back when I return.
Except my ABBA albums. Leave those. Wait, what’s ABBA? Put on your ear goggles, it’s time you knew! Well, they won the Eurovision contest in 1974 with Waterloo and that really put them on the map! Really makes you feel like you win when you lose!
11 Likes
Hey! I think that’s my Auntie Donna! She doesn’t wear a swimsuit like that, but I think that’s her. She doesn’t have a comsote… comsoke… cocosmote… She doesn’t have a cosmote at her house, because she lives in an apartment. Uh huh. She doesn’t live in a castle. Cause I guess the cosmote would keep her away. When I grow up, I’m gonna live in a castle, but I’ll have another house so Auntie can come visit me. But mostly I’ll live in the castle. And I want a mope.
6 Likes
Robot, from the Polish for “worker” implies a rude laborer, carrying out the orders of higher beings ceaselessly without complaint.
As I am neither rude, nor crude, nor of a lower order, not without complaints, nor a laborer or your behalf, I will point out that
#I AM NOT A ROBOT
I am an aesthete, my dear good be-strandable sir.
Whysoever did they leave your on that Mars?
What did Mars ever do to them?
9 Likes
I’m sure glad this conversation is happening outside of the mess…where some folks are trying to fuel up for the next mission by eating eel.
6 Likes
Charybdis sssseems to have gotten a lot grimdarker since the lassst time I blew through here…
6 Likes
One small quibble on an otherwise fine post:
Karel Čapek wax Czech. Robot is originally a Czech idea and word.
5 Likes
Pffft. All you pinkies look the same – and you want me to differentiate based on how you flap your meats?!?!?!?
6 Likes
You don’t think you’ve got a lot of gears for someone not a robot? Are you saying they are not functional?
6 Likes
> nagbot 0xec9c2b80d65a0237263b7f660e750364ab63bf04
TIME REMAINING : 1d 11h 59m
SUBMISSION DEADLINE: 2017-02-05 18:00:00 -0500
@sealion @critter @donald_petersen @penguinchris
“…check…okay…check…good…mmhmm. Except for you folk, eeryone else is accounted for. You should file orders!”
2 Likes
> iotrap.critter: 0xd2311518ff3ef2f155f8f810e0a64e5abd09f93c
“Roger that, critter! Your orders now on file for this round are:”
✔ buy blaster
✔ buy blaster
✔ mission 1
2 Likes
Ka-BOOOM!!!
cough cough
“Okay, that goddamned kitty is dead. He’s trying to get me killed, he wants to get me outta the way so he can get the old crew back together and take control of my accounts and buy back the old ship…”
BING!!
“… the hell? Oxygen tanks and a booster? Not too shabby. And what’s this?”
“Oh, yeah, baby. This will come in handy. Maybe even more so if Jones keeps pissing me off.”
Klik-fzzt
“Boss, you out there?”
“Yeah, no thanks to you. Your mission choice just about got me decompressed.”
“Hey, Fred, you knew the job was da–”
“Don’t you Super Chicken me, Felix!”
“Boss, shaddap a minute and listen to me.”
“Why should I? So far you’re just breakin’ my bank and perforatin’ my pressure suit. I’m out here busting my cloaca, and you’re in a clean, dry, warm, unfunded stateroom, getting wholly undeserved belly-rubs from the support crew and basically goldbricking your way across the galaxy. How does any of that help me?”
“High-value salvage, Boss.”
“…”
“Do you read me, Boss?”
“I’m here. High-value?”
“Two opportunities.”
“Hmm. Eel risk?”
“Negligible at this point. Some trigger-happy anguilliphobes are taking care of it.”
“Suckers. Risk?”
“Unsecured cargo. You’re gonna need to patch those venting suit holes and buff your maneuvering jets.”
“Can I afford it?”
“Barely. Leaves you a single sip of juice, which by rights oughta go to me as your agent.”
“Pucker up, Puss. I can still get you frogmarched to the nearest airlock for what you did to Midshipman Plantain there.”
“Get your ass in here, Ass, so I can tape up your ass before it sprays your decompressed innards all over the starboard viewport in the enlisted mess. Believe me, they don’t need any more ass mess down there.”
“Call in the orders. And watch your step. I’ve never crowbarred a Pussy before, but I’m a quick study.”
“Ass.”
“I know I am, but what are you?”
“Pussy, Ass.”
“That’s Ass, Pussy.”
“Puss-Ass.”
“This isn’t as fun as I thought it’d be. Ass out.”
“Puss out.”
Bzzt-klik!
“Cut the chatter, you two. There are professional grownups on this channel.”
“Aw, probe my cloaca, Dispatch.”
@Kassandra SUBMIT
BUY Repairs
BUY Booster_Jet
MISSION 4
END
10 Likes
> iotrap.donald_petersen: 0x2c9ce3fec25eb41966dc4e559e4c09cc4445da59
“Roger that, donald_petersen! Your orders now on file for this round are:”
✔ buy repairs
✔ buy booster_jet
✔ mission 4
3 Likes
There needs to be WTF?! button next to the heart button.
7 Likes
> iotrap.penguinchris: 0x5ef04ceeece0c4d728a725c959baf26c71108310
“Roger that, penguinchris! Your orders now on file for this round are:”
✖ submit
[ERR] Alas, but I have no way to parse 'submit' as a command. :(
✔ buy repairs
✔ mission 3
2 Likes
