I still have money available if anyone wants to sell me parts from their ship for cash. I would part with up to a max of b57.8, giving b6.25 per FP or SH or b9 for ST. I’ll check in a few hours before the registration deadline and can make an amendment to my order roll if needed.
In the meantime, my registration:
-b50 Hull Repairs (20 HP)
-b50 Homing Missiles (8 FP)
-b40 Mission 3 - Cube Farm
~ I may wish to be a fish but that does not make me a fish and will not help me to swim. ~
From the teachings of Monk Jonk
Sulking and pouting in the captain’s cage aboard the Somewhat Broken Heart, Quirky has just about finalized the most embarrassing orders he’s ever had to post to his crew. It’s not so much the ribbing. It’s not even the sudden preponderance of dirty turtle pix that’ll sure to be posted all over engineering. But a week mucking out the twirly’s underdrum while the other kids get to play, well…
Best get it over with. Open Ship’s Channel One…
** BZZZT! Ding! **
Wait a minute… what’s this? Code Orange Communique on Captain’s Private Comm…???
Quirky lurches upright, spilling his coffee, hitting his head on the overbar, and ripping Miss Leatherback right out of the middle of the magazine. Frantically he slaps levers and dials. He grabs his helmet in both hands, staring at it like the plastic skull of some robot Yorick. Quirky shouts into its faceplate an annoucemt picked up by the internal mic, and broadcast on all channels including spaceport PA:
Quirky: "Laszlo ( @messana ) , you beautiful thing, you! You got yourself a wing liz! Beard, ( @SteampunkBanana ), happy to be flying with you!
"SSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! THHHHHHHHH!!!
“Liz-tenant, make ready to fly Mission 2! Culture Officer, find out what kind of flowers lobsters like! Oh, and Flag Boy, pop into Duck’s and get everybody a turtle mag. This Somewhat Broken Heart is still beating, bitches!”
Mission Registration:
-b50 (via Laszlo) @messana | Mission 2
Transfer b40 to Charybdian Credit Union account of one Captain Richard M. Nixon via secure channels.
Open broadcast to Unizone:
Good afternoon. I do so look forward to working with you again on this mission, this has been a delightful working relationship. Since you are, in fact, only mandating offering the one mission I guess I don’t need to formally accept it. Choice is so overrated, I find.
So I’ll move straight on to upgrades.
It appears that I am temporarily finacially embarassed (my own fault, weakness for the slug races and benymede, let’s not dwell on that), and find myself needing to indulge in Unizone credit so that I can most effectively defend your important parts.
With that in mind, I would like to request the following upgrades be installed post-haste:
b20 Nano Patch Goop / Bucket + 25HP
4 x b20 Unizone Cloaking Device + 8 ST
I believe this leaves me with b100 in Unizone credit, and, if you’ll pardon the expression, rather in bed with you - I do so love close working relationships - and your flexible approach to financing is a blast of fresh air in this world of profiteers who want payment up front.
So relax! Your important parts are in safe hands.
Following upgrades at the Unizone store, encrypted narrowcast from Moral Flexibility via Arcturan cone of silence.
Greetings, Ella.
Sadly, financial constraints made it impossible for me to work with you on your last run, but I believe I have overcome that little difficulty. A mutual acquaintance of ours has provided my funding for this mission. The transfer should already have been completed.
While I have you, I hear you’re able to replace all this overpriced DRM-infected crap from Unizone with open source free (as in speech) parts for free (as in beer)? Before this mission would be marvellous. I’m happy to have the money men after me, since I deserve that, but the only person allowed to have a kill switch on the Moral Flexibility is me.
Note that all banking from now onwards will be conducted via our aforementioned mutual accquaintance. Do not use my Unizone account for anything.
Mission 3: Cube Farm.
With that in mind, and since I suspect Unizone might be keen to make an example of me and there’s little point for me to walk the long walk carrying stuff that might be of use if it’s not getting blown into the aether:
I hereby will all my salvage rights (and cash, if Ella pays posthumously) to the community bank.
I also transfer the following equipment for safe keeping - I leave it at the relevant captain’s discretion whether they choose to return it should I come back alive:
give David Falkayn @bizmail_public 4 EN, I hope Chee Lan will appreciate it
give Natasha Fatale @davide405 4 SH, for a ship captained as generously (or financially astutely) as Captain Fatale captains the Audacious Blip deserves protection
give Savaric Tubertus Wynkn Basiliscos Leontios Palaeologus al Wathiq @OtherMichael 4 FP, since a bee needs his stingers.
I’m keeping the ST, in case it keeps me alive.
(@bizmail_public - as de facto community organizer, it occurs to me that you might also want to consider running a community equipment library, where people can swap loadouts to optimize for missions. I am sure @patrace will love keeping track of it).
@patrace SUMMARY:
Starting Balance : b22.2
Given 1.4 by @funruly
Given 16.4 by Community Bank (@davide405)
Running total: b40
-b40 give to Richard M. Nixon
Running total: b0
(acting on assumption of doing Mission 1, but not declaring such - and as I verifiably have no money, I have no option as far as Unizone knows, so of course they’ll do the upgrades)
-b20 Nano Patch Goop / Bucket + 25HP
-b80 4 x b20 Unizone Cloaking Device + 8ST
Running total : -b100
THEN:
Richard M. Nixon gives Ella b40
give @bizmail_public 4EN
give @davide405 4SH
give @othermichael 4FP
Mission 3: Cube Farm.
If I survive, Richard M. Nixon to be given b200 by Ella. Pay not to be applied to Unizone account belonging to @daneel with -b100 it it.
If I don’t survive and Ella still pays out, put b200 into the community bank.
(and if you really aren’t prepared to let me do that - hey, your game, your rules - then scrap the Unizone purchases, keep Nixon out of it, keep the ship-ship transfers but also give @funruly 4 ST, put me on 3 anyway)
(and if the funding doesn’t happen, give all my money to @davide405, do the ship-ship transfers and put me on Mission 1).
Clear as mud?
“Already took care of Luckybeard, Natasha @davide405. Let’s see if we can’t spread that grease around elsewhere!”
Since the two loans described below were for the same amount, I think we can safely assume the funds are now available for the second one.
@DreamboatSkanky, consider your loan funded.
CC: @patrace
[Lazlo looks somber as he listens to the last strains of Sssir Galaxy’s composition, looks at his purchase order on the softly glowing console, and sighs with an emotional note known only to space lobsters]
“Every fleet needs a poet. And if we’re gonna do this right, we’re gonna do this right.”
[Lazlo cancels the installation of the two racks of Clawbuster homing missiles from Ella’s shop and opens hailing frequencies]
“Galaxy? (@Donald_Petersen) Here’s b50. Let’s do this. Starfox formation. Come fly Mission 2 with us, boyo.”
(edited above mission orders to remove b50 of FP upgrade for transfer to I.M.V. Carcinogenic Denture)
[Lazlo nudges Natasha (@davide405) in the moose ribs, and laughs heartily.]
“Took care of ol’ Quirky(@DreamboatSkanky) too. And just funded Sssir Galaxy (@Donald_Petersen), 'cause the old lizard pens a fine space shanty. From each according to ability, to each according to need. Amirite?”
“Unizone delenda est.”
Illegitimi non carborundum!
Perhaps I shall survive.
Mission 1 please.
[Takes a peek a the timestamp on his trusty chronometer again and vocalizes an oddly sibilant three-tone whistling noise.]
@wisconsinplatt, @greenglyph, @Demiurgus “Ain’t no minute like the last minute, eh? But if those SpaceBits are burnin’ a hole in yer cargobay and yer destiny is ta be used for target practice, consider makin’ a funds transfer for the good of Charybdis.”
Lazlo, you are AMAZING.
Here’s hoping you make it through – you are cutting it very, very close.
–Falkayn
“An’ that’s why a group of space lobsters is known as a ‘[risk][1]’, bub. No grit, no glory.”
[Lazlo grins and approximates a wink by waggling an eyestalk. It’s kinda creepy.]
“Unizone delenda est.”
[1]: A Compendium of Collective Nouns: From an Armory of Aardvarks to a Zeal of ... - Woop Studios - Google Books
“Ar. Ahem. Yarg,” (cough cough) “Arr. Avast. Shiver me nanobots.”
(knock knock)
“Thir?”
“Garrr! Away wit’ ye, ye jumped-up cabin boy! I’m plottin’ me retribution here, and will brook no interruption from me inferiors!”
“But thir…”
“But me no butss! The Cap’n’s Head is sssacrosssanct ssspace, and those who dare disssturb their ssskipper therein risssk extended duty in the glory-hole barrel!”
“Aye, Captain… only… I think thith will interetht you.”
“Ye’ve thought that before, ye lily-spleened gutterskink, and ye haven’t been right yet.”
“Ath our occasional competitorth with antlerth are wont to thay, Thith Time Fer Sure!”
“Sigh… what iss it, Professssor?”
“I was on the bridge a moment ago, ath per your orderth, er, thwabbing the deck, when I heard a metallic clink over next to the Organ Replicator. It came from within your… er… cuthpidor.”
“What in the Ssseven Fanged Hellsss is a ‘cuthpidor’?”
“Your thpittoon, thir. From the Inflatable Pub. The one you carried back to the ship after the gig. You may not remember it, you looked rather dazed and dethpondent…”
“Belay that! Why in the name of all that is ssscaled and unholy would I care about a clink in a ssspittoon?”
“Look inthide, thir.”
“I can’t sssee a thing in there…”
“Perhapth if you remove that undignified eyepatch…”
“What… what is that?”
“If you thrape off the dried bile, you’ll thee it’th a ThtarBitCoin.”
“A fiver? How’d that get in there? I ssswore there was nothing in there but krill-hussskss and a few ssspatteringsss of used beer.”
“Not a fiver, thir. If you flick off that booger, you’ll find a zero.”
“A fifty? What… how…?”
(beep boop bzzt)
“Meththage for you thir, on your private comm.”
“Well… I’ll. Be. Damned.”
“Very likely, thir. But what’th thith? Ith that a… a tear coming from your eye?”
“Don’t be ridiculousss, Professssor. Even if Lizardsss could cry, I have no biological eyesss anymore. It’sss jussst a bit of… hydraulic leakage.”
“Why, thir, I do believe you’re… moved. Touched, even. And all thethe yearth I’d thought you’d had that heart retrofitted with…”
“Shut up, Prof. Help me get thisss ridiculousss getup off.”
“Tho we won’t be harrying the thpathewayth, terrorizing the unwary and growing fat off the richeth of the under-armored?”
“Not today, Prof.”
(click. feedback whine. squeal.)
“Ahoy @Slaal! I’ll send you 2ST worth of my starfield-painted hull platesss for b15, bettering your prior offer of b9 for 1ST. Sssound good to you?”
(click. staticstaticstatic. distorted norteño music. static. beep.)
“Ahoy, Lazlo! @messana You’re a prince among arthropodsss. You won’t regret thisss. The Denture’s teeth are at your command.”
Upon confirmation by @slaal, I’ll accept b15 in exchange for:
give @slaal 2ST
Which puts me at 26ST, and with a positive balance of b6.8000
Then I accept @messana’s generous subsidy of b50, bringing my balance to b56.8000
Wish I could upgrade, but what the hell… even at 43% hull integrity I can handle a few asteroids.
Mission 2 - Nebulous
End balance - b6.8000
With the captain feeling a bit under the weather, Lt Rockford chooses
Mission 4
Sadly, the captain did not leave his SpaceBits Express card, so we won’t be buying anything
A word about banking, funds transfers, and the "backoffice"
or, how money gets to Ella without Unizone accounting knowing about it
When one makes a typical space bit transfer, it seems as if one is giving a “thing” from one captain to another.
Nothing could be further from the truth. The messages we see here in public are formally known as “acknowledgements of intent” – holiday greeting cards, if you will. What instead happens is a set of interlocking transactions between outside parties that, collectively, we call “CharybWire.”
As befits a young galaxy with a chaotic birth, the CharybWire is a still developing, chaotic overlap of legacy systems: Crucially, there is no central “organizing authority,” despite Unizone’s aggressive efforts to control the payment system. Note NIilah’s ability to place massive bets on the slugraces right under Unizone’s nose and then collect her winnings
In these communications, we have been been speaking casually about Unizone credit and personal transfers as if these where one and the same, but there are many ways to move money (and other things) around Charybdis that escape Uinzone’s touch, or even notice.
For those using the community banking service, payments to Ella are invisible to Unizone accounting. Money is moved from the community bank to Ella’s banking portal (a different place entirely than her storefront) physically. The community bank board has deep experience with “deliveries” and knows how to get a few envelopes to Ella without attracting Unizone’s attention. Crucially, no money or credit ever touches any element of the CharybWire system. Thus, Ella is happy: she has the money. Unizone accounting doesn’t know: their CharybWire realtime monitoring system never sees an asset in the system to seize as payment.
The fly in the ointment is that the community bank is running an enormous risk on your behalf. The ability of the bank to keep Unizone at bay depends crucially on captains repaying their debts upon completion of their missions.
This is where the community aspect of community banking comes in: we have a stake in your success, unlike Unizone, which just wants your money. But we are depending on you to help us, when you have the ability to do so.
Self-interested Co-operation is the basis of all success
@patrace, when this thread locks, I will post over at Duck’s my understanding of all the transfers that happened this round. I know it’s a lot to keep track of, and the creakiness of the CharybWire system can make it maddening to get everything to work smoothly. Thanks.
orders for Muddlin’ Through
b151.5 starting balance
-b36.0 transfer to @uphill to repay loan+interest (previously logged)
-b25.0 transfer to @davide405 to fund community bank (previously logged)
-b10.8 transfer to @davide405 additional funding for community bank ( new entry)
-b3.0 transfer to @PromptedInk interest payment
-b40 Mission 4: “Hat’s off to Don Mondo”
-b25.0 Repairs at Ellas (+10 hp)
-b5.0 1 cask Benemede Honeywine ~b5/cask
6.7 final balance
