Badass Space Dragon - Duck's Pond

“BROWF GREET YOU! this bar smoke so thick. thick as squirrel no let go of spinning bird feed trap”

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“Now, Madame, I must inform you that the drink is courtesy of another gentleman, an excellent bonhomme, strong and courageous and vaillant, yet oddly shy around ladies! Why,” Jacques kicks back in his chair and pushes back his cap, glancing about the room. “the great fellow with the handsome beard and the bow-tie! Ah, he even dresses finely in an establishment such as this.”

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“Captain” Jacques Malchance
The Entropy

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When Madame Basehart glanced over she saw that Browf and Mamma had been conversing quietly in the corner. Appearing to come to an agreement they nodded, settled their bill with Duck and stepped outside…

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Noticing that Madame Basehart notices Browf and Mamma, Quirky Kumquat slinkily slithers into the seat next to her.

Quirky: “The wreck of The Hesperus. It’s just floating out there in the Big-Ass Asteroid Belt, just waiting for someone to swing by and pluck that sweet Sqwawkulon Music Drive out of her console. Two enterprising lizards oughta be able to pull that off, what say? Scoot back here and upload some proper Sqwawkulon jams to the JukeBot here? Waddaya say?”

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Honestly!

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I might want to suggest to people to set your notification status to “Watching” so you actually get all updates, as opposed to mentions and likes. I was wondering why nothing was going on…

This bodes not well for the flight-plan of the Not Worthy of Acknowledgement.

You… uh… weren’t too attached to that particular bay window, were you? Uh, here, let me patch it up with some space-wax. There you go, good-as-new, and twice as hexagonal. That’s twelve times better! Which ought to take care of my tab, eh?

Anyhoo… <buzzes distractedly>

Can I have some isopentyl acetate on the rocks? Barring that, a sniffer of smoke, I suppose. If I can’t wake up, I can go on the nod… Thank goodness I brought my smoking jacket.

I like to think I look something like a mix of the former and the latter; my ex-queen says its more like the one in the middle. Whatever. She doesn’t have a hive any more, now, does she!

Neither do I, for that matter.

 


[L’abeille de la cosmos, c’est moi]

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Hmmmm, lemme think about that a minute…

[ponder, ponder, ponder]

Yup, let’s ditch this antler party and steal salvage some tunes!

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Quirky: We’re outta here. (Goes to portal. Pauses. Flicks tail.) All right, whichever one of you milk-drinkers is piloting that garlic-press looking job, you’re blocking in The Somewhat Broken Heart. Move it, or I shall leave a sternly worded note tucked under your forward sensor array."

Captain Madame Richard Basehart and I are off to the Big-Ass Asteroid Belt, in search of the derelict Hesperus!

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Aw, c’mon – I’ll front you guys some smoke!

It sure is a sausage party in here, though.

<has some more smoke…>

Sausage. Sausages. Sausage. Heh. Saaaaaaauuuuuuuusaaaaaaagggggge!

ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssaaaaaaawww

SAGES

You’re a clank right – I can call you that 'cuz were buddies, right, sharing smoooooooooooke - okay? And you like all these compuwhatsit things, doncha? Bleep boop bleeepy bleep?

 


[L’abeille de la cosmos, c’est moi]

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                                                                      pew pew pew sausages

 

 

 

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I’ve also taken up the practice of including name and a link to my registration on my posts. Having to dig through the registration thread for specific users to figure out who’s what is a pain.

A CLANK?!
Them’s fightin’ words!

When I come back from the Big-Ass asteroid belt, you and I are gonna have a little chat about NAMES, mister. Harrumph!

~slams ship door and blasts off~

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Gap finished his drink, and quietly exited the bar.

What was Falkayn’s game, Gap wondered. He didn’t play well with others.
Loner, lone gunman – get it? That was the whole point. 'sides, less ways to split the pot that way.

Whatever. With a few days to kill, the Moral Flexibility was going on the hunt. Bounty hunting wasn’t really Gap’s first love, but it was always good to keep your eye in. Shake off the old cobwebs.

He fired up the manoeuvering thrusters, pulled out of the docking bay at Duck’s Pond, set the Warrant Scanner to look for anyone stupid enough to be wandering around this quadrant of space with a price on their head, and cruised out into the asteroids.

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Uh… honey, buddy? <proffers some bee-vomit/> I thought we were ffriendz!

<bzzzzzzzzzzz?/>

<waggles butt in confused dance/>

 

mmmmmm schmmoooe-kuh <inhales deeply />

 

soooooooooooo… who wants to ride shotgunz?

 

<bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz/> [falls asleep]


[L’abeille de la cosmos, c’est moi]

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wh’ss’th’ss… thingyea?

hmhmmrrhl.

*swings hips

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<zzzzzzsnrkwhuhz!/> [wakes up]

<eyes quote-unquote dancing/>

That’s an atrogshush accent you’ve got there, but I think you’re saying you want to double-team this here choose-your-own-space-adventure? Y’all ever been to Altair III?

They gots some awesome space-pollen there, the stuff practically reaches out and grabs you! It’s like nothing else in the whole galaxy!

Well, not in this sixième.

That I’ve been to.

And remembered.

 

 

 

Wait, do I know you? You’re not another g****n robot, are you? Themz trying to take over the whole galaxy, you know. My cousin, Zzebedziah, he married a cl… uh, a robot-cosmsosian, and … well, things did NOT go “well”.

 


[L’abeille de la cosmos, c’est moi]

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Hey… which bathroom should I use? There are just pictures of moose on them. Anyway, while you were in there, Sir Patrick @micaela joined us. He’s a space lobster. Cool, huh?

Sir Patrick: “Another Romulan ale for my friend here, Guin… er… Duck? Duck right?”

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Heyyyyyyy! You … thingz… You like smoke?

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No, really, Sssir Patrick, I’ve had more than…

Well. If you insssissst.

(gurglegurglegurglegurgle)

It’sss a pleasssure to meet you both. Sssay, Phuong, no need to look ssso nervousss here. A nonzero percentage of the cussstomersss here appear to be human, ssso it’sss not like you ssstick out like a sssphenodont on Herpeton VI. Sssurely you’ve been to dozensss of divesss worssse than thisss in your travelsss…

No? Come now, you bear a ssstrong resssemblance to the refugeessss of the Terran Diassspora, and they left Earth centuriesss ago. Are you not Earthling?

Forgive me. I do not mean to put you on the ssspot. Let usss ssspeak no more of it, for here we are, ressspiring thissss sssweet recycled atmosssphere, enjoying our (in sssome casssesss barely) biological exissstence in good fellowship, merriment, and sssong. Permit me to sssubsssidize and pour the next round, one of the perennial favoritesss on Old Home Herpeton VI, a sssplash of Ganymede’s Tropical Coolant.

Never mind the label warnings, I’ve been lubricating the sssubssstructure that replaced my hyoid dewlap with Tropical Coolant ever sssince the indussstrial accident that cossst me that particular bit of mortal flesh back in my juvenile yearsss. I asssure you, it’sss perfectly sssafe for crussstaceansss and primatesss alike…!

Well, bugger it. More for me then.

(45 centons later)

Hey, I’m feelin’ ressstlessss. I was on my way home to Herpeton VI when I paused here for a quick weekend of R&R, but I’m bored. Anyone elssse feel like gettin’ into sssome missschief, preferably with the potential for profit and/or cloacal ssstimulation? C’mon, guysss! Let’sss get up and get…

Oooohhh.

Oh, damn. Why’sss the pub ssspinnin’? Why’sss that elk lookin’ at me funny?

Bloody hell. I gotta get that cyber-liver recalibrated. My nano-enzymes are all outta order. Glurk. Cannot processs thisss volume of coolant. Begin reverssse-perissstaltic chain-reaction

Dear Deity, not again…

click to animate, though you may regret it

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Hey Duck - I see youz finally got the loo remodeled. Stellar Pine. Spendy.

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