Badass Space Dragon - Round 3 - Malted Mayhem

That wasn’t used Dynamite. It was just Second best grade of dynamite. :wink:

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Stardate 3
Jewel of the Desert
Captain's Log

At the suggestion of certain other space captains at the party yesterday, I included memory loss in my inebriation simulation programming. Despite the suggestion that it provides valuable experience, I opted to skip the hangover portion. 

As a result, I have no idea what happened at the battle yesterday, much less the party. Fortunately, the programming does not theoretically affect my permanent data records, but I have been informed that perhaps I do not want to remember the battle. 

I am certainly aware of the salvage I acquired - the large mess in the cargo hold did not escape my notice. It consists primarily of computer core parts, which I should be able to use to improve my aging systems. Curiously, however, I also found a horseshoe, which I have mounted in my bridge to bring me luck. Of course, I must note that it apparently did not bring Flapjack Bill much luck.

I provided Dusty with a bowl of blue algae before the cleanup crew arrived, but so far he has opted to keep his space helmet on and hasn't touched it. Perhaps I should re-enable my olfactory sensors to determine if there is something wrong with the algae.

Apparently, I brought a bottle of Venusian Ale back with me after the party, and left it on my dashboard. I intend to leave it there, as from what I gather I believe it will improve my image.
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Mood: Battered & Dispirited

Re - Flatulent Deity…No excuses on your part. I mangled it, pure and simple…

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Thanks! Your tracking databases are really helpful – and illustrate again the power of cooperation.

-David Falkayn

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A bulky ship limps across the sky, one of her engines mangled and pouring thick black smoke. A lone figure sits in the galley, which is dark save for the red glow of the instrument panels. He sips a strong drink with his left hand, his right bandaged and set in a sling. Captain Rhaegar tries to forget the carnage, but he cannot.

It was never meant to be a fair fight, Don Mondo saw to that when he set that price tag on Flapjack Bill’s head. His ship was ambushed as it exited hyperspace, surrounded by seven mercenaries with their weapons fully charged. In a move of sheer desperation, Bill launched his entire cache of missiles before being consumed by a fireball that quickly engulfed his ship. One of the missiles slammed squarely into the port side of Dracarys, exploding one of her engines and disabling her communications system. Just as he recovered from the blast, Rhaegar stared in horror as Hobar erupted in a blast that knocked him from his feet.

Now, he stares into his drink. The salvage from the wreck should be just enough to cover the repair bills, but Rhaegar can’t help but wonder when it might be his turn to face the Specter. He swallows the last of his drink and sets the glass down too close to the table edge, where it topples and falls to the floor, shattering into countless tiny shards.

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--BEGIN: IMPORTANT SYSTEM NOTE--

Please post your shopping and mission selections below rather than going back and editing an old post.
I love the back stories and add-ons and will continue to arbitrarily reward them but please don't bury your shopping requests in a wall of text without also including a list at the bottom.
Thank you all, this has been amazing fun and has eaten my life this week. Thanks to Aaron Suring who has been helping me wrangle spreadsheets.
That is all. Carry on.

--END: IMPORTANT SYSTEM NOTE--

Scrapyard Pete's Outer Space Outfitters

Yeeehaw! Due to popular demand, I dusted off some top shelf rot-gut. The taste isn't so bad once you plow through the first few knockbacks. Speaking of knockback, maybe you'll want to increase your stopping power with one of our new cannons, these babies wail!

Rot-Gut - New by popular demand! It smells like a sock and tastes like a toe… but it’s got a helluva kick!
- $20/Jug
- $150/Cask

Hull Repairs - Maintenance is the key to survival.
- $100/HP

Hull Density Adjustment - Increases MAX HP.
- $500/HP

Blue Algae - This smelly glop is high in protein and will be sold at a markup of 10% when your turn ends. No partial barrels.
*- $100/Barrel

  • 10% Chance your cargo deck will be left smelling like fish gunk. $100 to have it cleaned.*

Sand Fish - These little guys are delicious… unless they hatch a tangle of muck worms. They do sell at a 50% markup when they’re edible!
*- $50/Fish

  • 20% Chance of worms. Worthless mush.*

High Power Laser Array (+4 FP) - Pew.pew.pew… pew.
- $5000 -

Deflecto Coating (+2 SH) - The deflecto coating will protect against dings and scratches from those pesky asteroids.
- $3200 - Slop it on as thick as you want!

Night Classes (+3 EN) - A good captain knows every bolt in their ship. These classes come loaded on a delicious vanilla wafer for biological life forms and androids can download it directly.
- $3500 -

Encryption Upgrade (+4 ST) - Gah! Government spies, time to replace those buggered encryption systems. The software is open source but the guy who installs it charges more than a plumber.
- $5400 - Limited to a one-time install

Horseshoe (+1 LK) - A little good luck never hurts, unless you’re nailing it into your foot.
- $1400

Ella's Backwater Boutique

Greetings. I am Ella, the owner and operator of Ella's Backwater Boutique. Located on the beautiful ocean planet of Alador, we carry unique handcrafted weapons and high quality electronics. If you grow weary of roughneck traders and inflated prices, please consider shopping with Ella. Civilization in the rough.

Sale today!

~Homing Missiles~ (+1 FP) - Slender form factor missiles for the design conscious consumer. A permanent upgrade, comes with a free subscription to the missile of the month club.
- $1000ea -

~Flak Bursts~ (+1 SH) - A beautiful shower of objects with varied heat and molecular signatures.
- $1000ea -

~Glorious Gadgets, Gizmos and Gewgaws~ (+1 EN) - Parts of all sorts!
- $1000ea -

~Nightshade~ (+1 ST) - Hull paint with embedded pattern replication filaments for cloaking. Defaults to a handsome charcoal black.
- $1000ea -

~Clover Soup~ (+1 LK) - Delicious organic soup made from four leaf clovers and rabbit feet.
- $1000ea -

~Hat~ (+2 GRIT) - We carry hats of all sorts, Pork Pies have been popular lately but I recommend the Bicorne De Marine. Hat boxes included.
- $10,000 (limit one) -

~Flowers~ - These would look very nice on your ship. Do you have any plants?
- $40/bouquet -

4 Likes

Today's Missions - Malted Mayhem

The borders of the Charybdis galaxy are being eroded by blockades and grasping claims from neighboring governments. Once fragmented, these systems have pulled together into an Intergalactic Coalition of United Planets (I.C.U.P.) bent on prying the frontier away from Don Mondo and his Laissez-faire style of leadership. Leadership may be too strong a word. Thuggery?
The dense gas giants, oceans of hydro-methane crystals and valuable ore were instrumental in the initial population boom but they're the very same thing drawing in the noose of civilization. It's only a matter of time, we'll have true law and order eventually... but whose law? Whose order?

Mission 1 - Moonshine

Scrapyard Pete is stocking hooch again but it tastes like a wet sock and demand is up for something with a little more complexity. The best stuff in the system is made by CyberMonks living on the moon of Benemede, I bet that's why they call it moonshine! Let's get some ships out there and get that river flowing.
I should mention, an unusual number of Booze Houndbots gravitate towards Benemede. They're prohibition era relics from a neighboring galaxy and, while they aren't too strong, they do travel in packs. They can't enter the atmosphere but they're quick to chase any ships coming or going from Benemede.
**Mission Cost:** $2000 (Fuel, Food, Supplies) **Reward:** $14,000, +1 GRIT, A Cask of Honey Wine (+2 LK) **Risks:** Hangover, Asteroids, Breakage, Booze Houndbots 90% - Hangover, lose 2 HP 10% - Asteroids, lose HP (10-30 based on SH & EN) 30% - "Breakage", lose $1000-$8000 based on LK 15% - Pack of TWENTY Booze Houndbots, lose HP (10-20 HP based on FP & SH) *Calculated on a per hound basis*

Mission 2 - Good Samaritan

A signal has been detected coming from a fleet of distressed merchants. They'll probably give you a big fat reward for saving them... or maybe it's a trap.
**Mission Cost:** $500 (Fuel, Food, Supplies) **Reward:** +1 GRIT either way. **Risks:** "Pull up! It's a trap!" (75-LK)% - Trap, lose HP (40-80 HP Based on FP & SH) OR - Not a Trap, +($500xLK), +1 EN, +1 ST

Mission 3 - Lizard Bait

There's been a noticeable uptick in bounty hunter activity and they appear to be originating from the border worlds. No one knows who sent them but these guys are really intent on poaching Don Mondo's hide and he doesn't have time for this sort of bother. He needs lizards for bait. It's a sit and wait kind of job... Then it rapidly transitions to a shoot holes in things kind of job.
**Mission Cost:** $100 (Lizard snacks.. for while you wait.) **Reward:** $25,000, +1 GRIT, +1 GRIT if you take over 50% MAX HP **Risks:** Caught Napping (70-2ST)% - Caught Napping, lose HP (20-40 Based on ST & SH)
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **GRIT**
Bounty Hunter 30-70 14-24 10-18 10-18 14-24 10-18 10-18
*Note - None of these fights are pig pile missions, you will be flying solo.* **Lizard Only Mission**

Mission 4 - Package Retrieval

An anonymous operator is trying to get their hands on some hot shipments. You pick up a package, you drop off a package, you don't ask questions.
**Mission Cost:** $0 - All supply fees paid by XXXXX **Reward:** $24,000, +1 GRIT, +1 GRIT if you take over 50% MAX HP **Risks:** Asteroids, Unexpected Guests (70-2EN)% - Asteroids, lose HP (20-40 Based on EN & SH)
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **GRIT**
Unexpected Guests 30-70 10-18 14-24 10-18 10-18 10-18 14-24
*Note - None of these fights are pig pile missions, you will be flying solo.* **Human Only Mission**

Mission 5 - The Rim

There's a lot of scuffling going on around the edges of Charybdis and the encroaching governments are paying well for marshals. Pin on a badge and be responsible for bringing in some of the worst bilge rats in the galaxy. Receive amnesty for past I.C.U.P. crimes and a more than fair health and benefits package... including dental, if applicable.
**Mission Cost:** $500 (Trip to the Rim) **Reward:** $5,000, +1 GRIT, Marshall Status & Amnesty **Risks:** Space Scum
**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **GRIT**
Space Scum (10-110)/110 1-30 1-30 1-30 1-30 1-30 1-30
*Note - None of these fights are pig pile missions, you will be flying solo.*
Sit out a round if the missions don't suit you -1 GRIT
Questions? Comments? Post them in the [Rules & Gameplay Thread][1].
3 Likes

You have a well organized and talented crew aboard the Ironclad Cochrane, tip of the hat to you on these beautiful spreadsheets. You’d cringe if you saw the mush I cobbled together :slight_smile:

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Wait - before I commit to a mission, am I reading the first mission right that there is a 15% chance of basically instant death? 20 booze hounds by the minimum of 10HP each = a ship dead 2x over. Am I reading that right?

It’s a chance but a small one. Each Booze Hound is calculated individually.
15% - B.H. #1 does 10-20HP
15% - B.H. #2 does 10-20HP
15% - B.H. #3 does 10-20HP
15% - B.H. #4 does 10-20HP
Etc.

So you’re likely to be hit by about 3 of the 20 hounds for a total of around 45 HP if you have middle of the road stats.

… Of course, things could go horrible wrong but death by a 400HP Booze Houndbot perfect storm would be quite a way to make an exit.

Ugh - math. I wish I were an android to figure out these odds. And I am known in games for having things go horribly, horribly (sometimes tragically funny) wrong. I’ll have to retell the story of how I blew up one of the important land marks in the Shadowrun world.

Also the homing missiles are permanent? Like right now it would behoove me to buy 5 of them for +5FP and $5000, where as the Laser Array is only +4HP for $5000.

ETA - too tired - better make my decision tomorrow.

Homing missiles function just like any other add-on, they give you a permanent bonus. Edited the description to reflect that.

Not that my thinking and logic are clear &sober, hic, thank you Captain Falkayn for the gifts. I am sitting here in my underpants, contemplating our next mission, sipping a wee dram from a titanium shock bottle I found rolling around under my berth.

Now this stuff is special. It’s Thorium Bed Cold Brew. The natives in their flowing silk gowns and lead shields take seed pods of an Aladorian castor bean plant, and place them on an undersea bed of radioactive pellets. The water-cooled reaction induces alcohols directly within the seed, and the husk contains it, while the red and white seed puffs to about three times its original size. A lead-bottom boat with a long retriever arm reaches down to gather up all the beans, which are still slightly radioactive. The Aladorians process the good stuff out of them in their collection of vintage hot pink Kitchen Aids from Earth. Then, of course, they flavor it with a mystery mixture of Aladorian herbs, and age it for two half-lives, to bleed down the alpha emissions, hic, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah, the mission. The mission. The wheat run was a smashing success. My team of engineers, RatBrain, Smeegla and Tiny, cobbled together a mash tun and a pot still, down in the engine rooms, and they are hard at work trying to come up with TARD-iss hooch without blowing up the ship. More on that after the next mission, if we should survive.

It was great to see everyone who came by to the Star Bar after Flapjack Bill. In fact, I realized about a day too late that it was Flapjack Bill’s presence onboard that caused the Government Blockade to train their lasers upon us the other day. I had thought it was some asshat bureaucrat shooting up a party boat, but I see in retrospect that they had a good reason to shoot at us, if there ever is a “good” reason to shoot. Which I can blame no one but myself for not knowing who was onboard at the time I broke the line. I suspect, also, Don Mondo might have had a hand in that, but he’s an old drinking buddy so I can’t say too much at this point. I am badly in need of some computer upgrades to keep that from ever happening again. And to restock. And another drink. And another mission before I get bored and drain my last shock bottle.

Ship: TARD-iss
1 cask of Rot-Gut, we’ll try to make it last -150
Encryption Upgrade - 5400
Gadgets Gizmos and Gewgaws for the guys & gals downstairs building the still - 1000
Hull density adjustment before the mission by 11 points- 5500. Let’s hope those booze hounds can’t chew through our rust before we can shake 'em off.
Mission: Moonshine Run - 2000

Good luck, and stop in for a drink, everyone, on the other side. At some point I should be charging for all these drinks. In fact, DON’T stop in unless you have cash on hand, and some cute friends.

-C.U.

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Stardate 3
Jewel of the Desert
Captain's Log Supplemental

I have been researching the concept of inspiration, and have calculated that having a bottle of booze on my dashboard might inspire me during a dangerous mission involving acquiring more booze. I have decided to accept a mission to acquire moonshine from the Benemedean CyberMonks to test this hypothesis.

Though the Jewel suffered minimal damage during the battle with Flapjack Bill (I still do not recall how I managed that outcome), due to the expected presence of Booze Houndbots I once again find myself spending all of my cash. I calculate that I would require more upgrades than I can presently afford to escape completely unscathed, but neither Scrapyard Pete or Ella will extend me credit, for some reason.

Because Dusty didn't want the algae I saved for him from before, rather than buy more I am saving a small amount of cash to put towards a food replicator for him. While digging around at Ella's I found one that I believe I can repair, but despite being non-functional Ella still wants $1000 for it. Hopefully I will be able to afford it after this mission. I bought some space flowers in case Dusty will eat those.

Captain's Log Supplemental^2

As I was filling the tires on my ship behind Ella's shop, Ella came out the back door to put her refuse in the space dumpster. I noticed that she was planning on disposing of a sweet T-Shirt - with only one extraneous hole - and a poster. When I expressed interest she offered to sell me the T-Shirt for a mere $11, and threw in the poster for free. This was too good a deal to pass up.

------------------------------------------------------
Init. Balance					 $8471
------------------------------------------------------
Receipt - Scrapyard Pete's
Hull Repairs 	7 @ $100 		$700
Hull Density	1 @ $500		$500
Rot-Gut		1 Jug @ $20		$20

Total					$1220

Receipt - Ella's Backwater Boutique
Flak Bursts	3 @ $1000		$3000
Homing Missiles	2 @ $1000		$2000
Flowers		1 @ $40			$40

Total					$5040

Shopping Total					$6260
------------------------------------------------------
Midnight Balance				$2211
------------------------------------------------------
Mission Expenses - Moonshine		
Various Supplies			$2000
------------------------------------------------------
Early Dawn Balance				 $211
------------------------------------------------------
Early Dawn Addendum - Ella's Dumpster
T-Shirt		1 @ $11
Poster		1 @ $0

Total					$11
------------------------------------------------------
Balance						$200
------------------------------------------------------
3 Likes

Mood: Aggravated

Bleedrunning. How long have you been alive, kindred? How much have you seen?

Okay. It’s not a competition. I wish it were - you ever want to make something understandable, comprehensible, you run it game-wise. You keep score, you scout for mechanisms to outwit your opponents - you count, you record, because the alternative…

The alternative is that there’s no cosmic ledger, no purpose or pursuit worthy of your time, no housedamned reward. You make it a competition to give it all meaning, because the alternative is far too horrible to contemplate.

So, how much have you seen? Poor Hobar, burnt out of the sky? This is just the beginning, kindred - this is the moment where you see the first, dark blushes of strangelet manifestation in a world-mind’s substrate. The first inklings of dark, unfathomable horrors…

I realise that my tin-can lieutenant has been spreading stories. I value its opinion - it’s the nearest thing I have to a connection back to the old House - the nearest thing since the Samwise affair and the expulsion. But it’s… not always accurate.

I’m close to a 'bot, yes. Or a 'droid or a 'synth, for you callous, uncouth types. And I’m bound down into the flesh of my ship, courtesy of bastard Sam. But not in the way he was - his body was destroyed millenia ago - it’s his ghost that haunts me, living on in his shipbody and across a thousand slaved proxy-platforms. No - I was human once, and there are parts of that human stain that remain, even now. The little knot of history, the tangle tying you back to your past, however fragile or liminal, is of the utmost importance. I wonder about you piratical types - wonder what you’re fleeing from, or running toward.

Me? I’m not sure what I thought I’d find in Charybdis. Revenge, maybe. But the things Sam did…

…well, there’s a reason I outlived the rest of the House.

Today was a reminder - we’re all vulnerable. But we all make our own meanings, weaving out emergent patterns from the background noise of a chaotic universe. I could have died today. But I could have died centuries ago, lurking down in the ruins of Angeldust’s orbital band. I could have died every day since then. Maybe parts of me did. Maybe parts of me still will.

But not before I gut Sam.

(I’m finding myself parsimonious after the run-in with … Flapjack… And I’m feeling in the mood for some magnanimity - some karma accruing. I’ll dial myself down for the rescue of some putative rogue traders…)


Repair 59 HP - $5900
2 x Nightshade Monomolecular Paintjob - $2000
**1 x bouquet of flowers **(for the Hobar’s voidy grave - I don’t hold with booze) - $40
Mission - 'Good Samaritan’

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Repairs: $3200
5 Homing Missiles: $5000
4 Nightshade: $4000
3 Clover Soup: $3000
4 Flak Bursts: $4000
Mission 1: $2000

Total: $21,200

 Lenar Belox wakes up today and ponders the nature of the universe. Then he figures it out and digs into a bowl of Frosted MiniDiscs.
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Well, it seems I got very, very lucky in the last mission, leaving me with a bit of cash for something OTHER than repairs, so… SHOPPING SPREE!!! But there’s work to do, as well, and given the right, er, motivation, I can be a no-questions kind of guy. After the last run we’re a bit whiskey’d out, so it’s just coffee for this run.

High Power Laser Array = $5000
Deflecto Coating = $3200
Hull Density Adjustment the 1st = $500
Hull Density Adjustment the 2nd = $500
Mission 4 = $0 (totally affordable!)
Space Mud for the crew = $100
Grand Total = $9300

1 Like

Lovely bit of work, Captain. When this is all over, if we all survive, let’s meet somewhere for a coffee, my treat.

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Mood: Furiously Drunk (SIMULATED)

Well, that’s it, then. I knew this was going to happen. El’s got her deathwish back - started on and in on the old pseudo Nietzschean cant… hic… kant. Kant… Can’t… Cantabile

This is going to be worse than the time she broke up with Ed… Fuckers were loud when they were together, and even louder when they were apart…

Great great great we’re all going to die.

Again.

Block-Memory 00437-22A
Abbotsford, Melbourne, VIC, 04/02/2017 22:12:05

004942: You look like shit, Ed. Worse than usual.
004662: You know exactly how I **indecipherable**
004942: This is the worst thing, Ed. There's nothing I can say that wouldn't be a cliché...
004662: Then why would you do it in the first place? What the fuck did you think you were doing? It was so... fucking...
004942: Predictable?
004662: ...Sad...
004942: Look, I feel shit - you feel shit; we can all feel shit together. Do you want a drink, or not?
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I send my thanks to Don Mondo for the generous gift of the allotropic iron torpedoes, my weapons officer KssN’ger is looking forward to trying them in anger. Together with our space-axe, the Patty is sharpening her teeth.

Unfortunately, something is rotten in Denmark, I believe that is the Terran expression, yes? Spiro passed out while cleaning the hold, and when we checked on him we discovered that he was in possession of certain confidential material he should not have been. It appears that he was serving two masters. As of now he is confined to the brig. Jedgarr is conducting the ‘interview’ in the hope of getting to the root of his treachery. This cuts me to the bone - I raised Spiro like a hatchling of my own after finding him languishing in the methane swamps of Maarilan. His performance in the H-Yoober/Moosky affair back in '68 was essential to our success in that enterprise. I suspect the Kinneady clan are involved somehow. They say Jay is dead, but I didn’t choke the life from him with my hands and see the light fade from his eyes, so I don’t believe it. To think I so nearly had him in '60…

[archive photo]

Nevertheless, life goes on. We have conducted interviews and found a new helmsman, Grr’Alld. He’s a simple boy from Mcheeg’n, not too bright, but loyal. We have high hopes for him, even if he is a little green around the gills, ahahaha.

[Grr’Alld, yesterday]

It also appears that one of my Rigellian Computers has damaged his slide rule, the careless fool! Pete has told me he can get me one for $10. Also, I have been forced into purchasing uniforms for $100 - the Terran members of my crew are much happier now they are clothed. Foolish, vain, weak humans. If they didn’t taste so good I wouldn’t keep them around.

Starting: $13810

Slide Rule -$10
Polyester Flares - $100
Hull Repairs -$100
Hull Density Improvement x1 - $500
Homing Missiles x 2 -$2000
Nightshade x 8 - $8000 - it’s like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black.
Delicious Clover Soup x 3 - $3000
Mission 3 - Lizard Bait - $100
Total Spending $13810

Remaining Balance - $0

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