I am inclined to think that calling those ships in the anti-Mondo flotilla “patriotsss” would be more the Coalition’s ssstyle. They’re not oness to casually throw away a tool if there might sssstill be potential future ussse in it. Remarkably thrifty for an intersssstellar bureaucracy.
Neverthelessss, I concede the larger point. Lt. Gilligan remindsss me that I, too, was perfectly willing to join that flotilla, and ended up joining the anti-I.C.U.P. battle for the sssole reason that the Deity’s heavy firepower might be more urgently needed on that ssside of the conssspiracy. So, in a sensssse, I am as much of a ssstooge as Captain Pedge is.
And yet. I never ssserioussly believed Don Mondo to be in genuine danger. How many timesss had that sssslippery toad ssssqueaked out of a tight ssspot like a damp bar of sssoap and hopped away to another hidden ssssafehoussse? Why was thissss not the cassse thiss time? How did I allow thisss to happen? And what in the sssseven hellssss am I ssssuppossed to feed these hundred and fifty and sssix tadpolesss? (Gilligan, we got any leftover ssssspleens?) They gurgle and sssscream for vengeance, proving once again Mondo’ss amphibioussnesss. My own offssssspring couldn’t care lessss what happenss to me, I’ll wager. That is, asssuming any of them ssssurvived.
Falkayn thinkss I shouldn’t attack Captain Pedge jussst because life is ssslightly more interesting with Pedge in it than without, apparently. Falkayn backsss up his opinion with his own ca$h. But Pedge himself offers to sssacrifice barely half of his ill-gotten gainss to sssave his own hide. I am not yet convinced that that amount will be sssufficient.
You sssee, my dear Captain Falkayn… it is not enough for all potentialities to sssimply exist, for all playersss to sssimply sssurvive long enough to sssee what happensss. Life needsss a little zessst. A ssssplash of genuine peril. A pretty frighteningly sssstrong chance that maybe thingsss won’t turn out all right in the end, otherwise sssurvival holds no charmsss. It could be that we who remain today unite toward our common goalsss without sssstabbing each other between the dorsssal ridges. It may be possssible that nobody chooses to “defect.”
But I tell you now that these possssibilities are by no meansss guaranteed. I am never one to be lulled into a falssse ssenssssse of sssecurity and good-fellowship sssimply because sssome sssmooth-talking smooth-sssskinned Human assuress me that collaboration is the only mathematically sssound route to successss. Pedge may have nothing againssst me (yet), and it may not be entirely fair to ssswivel my gunsss in his direction ssssimply because he among the nine landed a lucky killing shot. But he was alssso paid rather handsssomely for that shot, and was that fair either?
I could take on the Quissssquiliae sStruem and, one-on-one, I sssussspect I’d win. And if I declare againssst him, I don’t believe I’ll do it alone. At leasssst one Reptiloid captain has already expressssed interessst in taking down the Quissssk. Some captainsss will choose to defend Pedge. Shipsss will take heavy damage. People and Lizardsss will die (and Androidsss will be recycled, and probably rather carelessssly at that). It will be… sssuch a tragic wassssste.
I think Captain Pedge needsss to pay consssiderably more, in order to ensure that thissss masssive amount of bloodshed (and ichorspray and lubricantleakage) does not come to passss. Let usss ssssee how he ressspondss to that.
Sssssskipper out.
