Badass Space Dragon - Round 6 - A Tiny Problem

games
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[quote=“daneel, post:29, topic:11138, full:true”]
My head saysss take the money and run, but I’d be more interesssted in taking out Nebula than nursssemaiding him. Vapid cssselebrity, playing at ssspace jockey. [/quote]

Oh come now, for a bag of water he’s not bad looking. And I liked him in that one movie (spoiler alert) where he had a gun and the bad guys were after him and he had to get to Mars and download a virus into the alien computer with a power loader while being chased by dinosaurs so he could get back to the future to save his true love in Metropolis from a killing machine from the future full of Ultra Violence while she was driving the bus loaded with fuel across the wasteland - and it turned out the entire thing was just a software glitch when he fell off his sled, Rosebud - he was an android the whole time.

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42

Affordable Repair Act (+50 HP) = $0
Hull Repairs (+21 HP) = $10,500 (I’ve got a feeling I’m going to need every HP I have)
2X Homing MIssiles = $3,000 (Lucky shot might help?)
3X Flak Bursts = $4,500 (The best offense is a good defense?)
Nightshade = $1,500 (That’s what I said!)

Mission 4 = $500 (Brad Nebula films. I don’t know WHY I like them, I just do. And if I can get an autograph, well…)

I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Sorry, Pedge, I hope you come out of this one alive. I hope I come out of thise one alive!

@Mister44 If you liked that one, you should have seen that one movie (spoiler alert) where he had a gun and the bad guys were after him and he had to get to Mars and download a virus into the alien computer with a power loader while being chased by dinosaurs so he could get back to the future to save his true love in Metropolis from a killing machine from the future while she was driving the bus loaded with fuel across the wasteland - and it turned out the entire thing was just a software glitch when he fell off his sled, Rosebud - he was an android the whole time 2 (in 4D).

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Space Memo
Encryption: PFG
Priority: ++ Double Good
To: The Supreme Intelligence, Leiberia
From: Lord Fritz, Captain of the Cat’s Claw Class Cruiser Grey Mouser

All hail the Supreme Intelligence! We have run a detailed analysis with all available data in the area and have come the conclusion that there is a 78.634% chance we will find ourselves in considerable peril in the near future. I would like to officially request a promotion to a Battle Star Class ship, and have it sent here forthwith. I recall the Graywand was nearing the end of it’s upgrades and waiting for assignment when we left Leiberia.

Please let me know if such a ship is available. With out it I cannot guarantee the safe return of the Grey Mouser. Once I have your confirmation I will begin the process of replicating bodies for the additional needed crew.

If you are unable to grant our request, please make double sure that all cognitive backups are up to date for the entire crew, and have a clear line in the Quantum Communication Network to prevent any corruption of a cognitive upload.

Thank you and all hail the Supreme Intelligence!

  • Lord Fritz
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As usual, Captain Falkayn, your logic is unasssssailable. But we Ssspace Lizardss think, and react, and fight from a deeper, more profound level than mere logic.

I have alluded before to the casual-at-bessst nature of Reptiloid filial love. We rarely, if ever, meet our parental gene-donors, and we hatch fully mature (if ssssmallish and dampish and generally unlettered), ssso our clansss our formed and alliancess founded through companionship and philossssophical commonality rather than genealogy. “Friendship runsss thicker than ichor,” the sssaying goesss, which may explain the extended duration of our grudgesss as well as that of our communal affiliationsss.

Don Mondo wass no friend of mine, though our assssociation datess back to our hatchling dayss. The Don and I shared experiencesss that no other creatures have known, and ssso our mutual loathing never managed to keep usss apart for long in our adult and professssional livesss. I was not pleased by the news of his dessstruction, in part because I intended to predeceasssse him, if only sssso that he would feel the sssame disscomfiture at my absssence as I currently am feeling at his. We made great nemesessss, and life holdsss much less color and flavor for me now. Damn him.

Hmm. Well. The Don has… dependentsss. I am pledged to sssupport them in their time of helplesssnessss and grief. Please deduct $4,000.04 from my account for their benefit. They may one day announce what they want to ssspend it on.

And before our lassst mission, I pledged to “make it worthwhile” for whoever tried to sssave Ssssscrapyard Pete from the asssault on his yard. Turned out he made his own esssscape and needed no ressscuing, but I ssstill feel I owe a debt of gratitude to the sssseven who expressssed a willingnesss to ssave and shelter Pete in his hour of need. I’ve earmarked $1,500 $tarbucksss for thisss purpossse, and sssso I offer $214.28 apiece to the noble captainsss of each of the following vesssselss:
Cobra II
Ssssenessscent Wanderer
Pussssillanimous Patty
Muddlin’ Through
DubDub
First Post1
Jewel of the Desert

The four pence remaining from those $1500 go to the tadpolessss. Never let it be sssaid a Lizard failed to pay hisss debtssss.

“But wait!” sssomeone pipesss up from the Peanut Gallery. “What about the TARD-iss? Did not Captain Underpantssss alssso offer to shelter and protect Pete?” Why yesss, he did. But he alsssso dessstroyed Pete’sss chief sssource of livelihood, forcing him to move to thisss craptassstic hollowed-out ass-teroid (and I did not lisssp there). Undies, you’re on your own.

And now, on to more current businessss. Logic statesss that it might be beneficial to come to the aid of Captain Pedge and his Quissssquil… uh, Quissssssss… his ship. No doubt plenty of my buddies from the fleet will join in his defenssse, and the pocketsss thereaboutsss are deep.

But there’s no putting a pretty face on it: Pedge is the Coalition sssstooge who killed my nemesssisss Don Mondo. By rightsss, that privilege should have fallen to me, decadesss from now, with Mondo and me sssstripped to the ssscalesss, chained together at the anklesss, and armed only with our dewclawsss and retractable sniper-tongues, down in the Pit of Reconciliation back home on Herpeton VI, jussst the way our peoplesss did it for thousandsss of generationssss. I have been robbed, robbed of reconciliation, by thisss sssslick-ssscaled faux-Reptiloid Pedge. Thanksss to thisss treasonousss gecko, I find myssself resssponsssible for an hundred and fifty and ssssix helplessss orphaned polliwogsss, currently grieving and otherwise taking up ssspace in the Flatulent Deity’s starboard hot tub.

Why shouldn’t I help out Tiny and blow the Quissssk into oblivion? I don’t really care about the money, but it sure would cheer up the tadpolesss. And mine is not necesssssarily a logical ssspeciesss. Try to convince me otherwissse, if you think you can.

Accounting for I.M.V. Flatulent Deity:
Beginning balance: $50,000.
Miner’sss Hard Hat (will it fit atop my bolero?): $10,000
Hull Densssity upgrades (to 168HP): $24,000.
Zot Gunsss: $5,000.
Sssscramblersss: $5,000.
Charitable Contribution to the Sssstarboard Home for Indigent Polliwogsss: $4,000.04 (they pay no interessst, but rather enjoy pulling the damp banknotess over their headsss like blanketss)
Reward paid equally to the sssseven would-be Pete ssssaviors: $1,499.96 (that’s $214.28 paid directly to the Cobra II, Ssssenessscent Wanderer, Pussssillanimous Patty, Muddlin’ Through, DubDub, First Post1, Jewel of the Desert)
Mission TBD: $500
Not one thin dime left over.

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– SYSTEM NOTE –

Q - May I post a mission selection publicly and then request a different mission via direct message so that I have an element of surprise?

A - Yes. Please keep communication on the BBS though, I can’t guarantee I’ll get it if it comes through email or twitter.

– SYSTEM NOTE –

46

Oh.

Bollocks.

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47

Fixed the clerical error.

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48

Yep, fixed up!

49

Tiny isn’t the easiest Space Lizard to get along with and Pete isn’t going to cut you out of the store over your part in this scuffle.

I should mention that he is very unhappy about Mondo’s death but appears to be thawing a bit.

50

Oh… OH!

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Note to Captains who don’t spend their spare time grooving on math:

Mathematically speaking, we are playing what game theorists call an “iterated prisoner’s dilemma”. Two neat results fall out of the mathematical analysis.

First, reputation matters.

Second, the best known mathematical strategy for thriving over the long term is called “tit-for-tat” . “Tit-for-tat” means exactly what it sounds like. Basically, self-interest dictates that any “defecting” player (to use the mathematical term) be punished by other players that following turn, even if that punishment is costly to themselves. The alternatives for the other players are, mathematically, worse.

In Charybdis we can continue to function in a co-operative world. But if people start “defecting”, the other players will start “defecting” as well, especially the co-operative players. In such a dog-eat-dog world, the strongest have the edge, especially if they can gather a few allies.

Make sure you think through your next several steps carefully if you’re considering using the BBS messaging system to switch missions covertly.

“Self-interested co-operation is the basis of all success”

–David Falkayn

p.s. Don’t think destroying the Muddlin’ Through will allow a “defector” to evade a response. Nicholas Van Rijn closely watches developments in Charybdis.

52

Ah - don’t give up the secret to the game! It’s like when you learn how to always win or tie in tic tac toe - what’s the point?

53

If we fight amongssst ourssselvesss, the survivorsss will be easssy pickingsss for the Ssscylla.

Divide and conquer, yesss?

I ssssussspect Tiny isss bankrolled by the Coalisssion. That leglesssss ssskink would never have the ballsss otherwissse. And the lassst time I sssaw hisss ship, it wasss a heap of junk. Looksss like it’ssss undergone sssome expensssive upgradesss.

54

Falkayn, you sssay that a lot. But I ssstill find myssself unsssure of your motivessss.

Our different ssspeciesss hold differing philossssophiesss, differing religionssss, and differing underssstandingsss of the universsse we all inhabit. What is, in fact, the Ultimate Goal? Ssssimple sssurvival, either alone or with ass many alliesss as possssible, to live out a quiet and well-funded retirement on sssome sssanctuary moon? Or will we end in Monopoly, a Lassst Lizard Sssstanding sssscenario wherein a Winner Takesss All? Will there, in fact, be a winner? Is ultimate ssuccessss measured by Grit, Money, overall Badassssery of the Ship, or sssome combination thereof? The Fatesss, ssso far as I have been able to divine, remain mute on thisss matter. Ssssometimes I feel compelled to cooperate, sssometimes to compete. I know not which compulsion will rule in the end.

My ssspeciesss is not known for its dedication to cooperation, as a rule, but we do know very well how to get along to go along. I persssonally like mossst of the captainss hereaboutsss and usually would sssee no profit, and would take no joy, in betraying any of them. If there is room for sssome or mossst or all of usss at the Awardsss Banquet of Ragnarok, then I intend to be Cooperating Carl, Titan of Teamwork, insssofar as I am able.

If, on the other claw, cooperation comess too deeply at my expenssse, then Ssssskipper will be looking out for Number One. Earlier misssions ssseemed to reward cooperation, but current galactic realpolitik sssseems designed to turn usss againssst each other whether we like it or no. Perhapsss thisss trend will reverssse. Perhapsss not.

My long-term ssstrategy, sssuch as it is, has been to build the Deity up into the luckiessst, Grittiessst, mossst impregnable, and mossst fiercely armed vesssel in the fleet (or as clossse as I could get), generally at the expenssse of monetary reward. My ship is formidable, my bank balance laughable. Thisss was done againssst the advent of a potential “every ship for itssself” eventuality, which may yet come to passss… or not.

I am a privateer by professssion, and profitsss should be my primary motivation. But as a certain privateer of sssome renown from your own sssspeciess once put it, “What good’s a reward if you ain’t around to use it?”

In one potential trouser-leg of causality, Pedge might prove to be a valuable ally and friend, with whom I might enjoy richesss and acclaim and everlassting warm-blooded good feelings once we retire from this businessss. Down the other leg, Pedge might ssstand as my foe, threatening to take all I have and all I’ve built and all I’ve worked for, all in the name of “better him than me.” His action againssst Don Mondo demonssstratess Pedge’s own dedication to unity and teamwork over ssshort-term profitsss. Faugh! And now the Deity sssitss here, right on the crotch of the troussersss, wondering out loud which leg to stick itself down.

I shall think on’t. Take over, Gilligan.

55

A fair question, Sssskiper, so I’ll give a fair answer.

My motive, this round, is to get as many ships as possible through to the next round. But why?

Because that outcome has the most possibilities. The more of us there are here in Charybdis, the greater possibilities. When we thwarted both Don Mondo and the Coalition, we had six missions to choice from while only having lost two active captains. By contrast, when the Hobar blew up we lost a plot line and two characters. We haven’t seen any of their silly graphics or mining jokes since – a loss for us all.

So that is my motive: To greedily slurp possibilities and revel in the sheer wonder of it all. Which, today, requires getting as many players, er ships, active and alive through to the next round. Does it really matter who has the most grit next Monday? or who is that last lizard standing? who will be around to share the fun if everyone else has left Charybdis?

El Esk said something important in Round Three:

It’s not a competition. I wish it were - you ever want to make
something understandable, comprehensible, you run it game-wise. You
keep score, you scout for mechanisms to outwit your opponents - you
count, you record, because the alternative…

The alternative is that there’s no cosmic ledger… You make it a
competition to give it all meaning, because the alternative is far too
horrible to contemplate.

I don’t really care about the final score. I care about delaying “final” for as long as I can, and enjoying the fart jokes and Lizard graphics and Motörrhead videos and El Esk existential rants and whatever else is possible in this crazy world we’ve made for ourselves.

Chee Lan is looking at me, and not in a nice way. I’d better step back into character.

“Enjoy Life. Make Money. Stay Alive”.

–David Falkayn.

56

Ship: Das Boot
Shop: Free Socialist repairs. Nothing else. (Man I ain’t breaking my boycott for nothing.)
Mission: 2 (Or is it…? MWAHAHAHAAAAA cough cough)

57

Perhaps under other circumstances I would be able to take the route of self-interested cooperation, but Tiny’s cause comes close to representing a last stand for the way of life that we once shared during our humble beginnings as legitimate businessmen.

If my bio-bubble memory serves me right, “good publicity” was not our main motivator. Neither was mere survival, or we would be running a souvenir stand at the local spaceport, nice and safe.

There will always be risks, and preserving a trading space free from a permanent ICUP presence, and free from representatives aiding ICUP in getting a foothold, or clawhold, or acuator hold, forces one to take bigger risks. That is because the stakes are higher. If ICUP stays, our days as legitimate businessmen are over. Sure, there’s less money for now, but if ICUP stays, there’ll be no money at all, except serving Coalition interests, either as tethered propagandists or expendable bodyguards defending the opposite of what we believe.

I will never be a Coalition Stooge, nor take on missions that do nothing to slow ICUP’s encroachment.

Let there be a price on my head; I was planning on moving most of my logic circuity to my better-protected torso anyway.

Still leaning (creak), ever more so, towards Mission 2, especially since it seems like there are still a couple proud Space Lizards who, like me, have enough fight in them to show ICUP that it can’t buy off enough traders to take over Charybdis.

58

Captain Pedge needsss to ssspeak again, methinksss.

What are hisss thoughtsss on ICUP? What are hisss intenssshionsss, ssshould he live? It appearsss that merely bettering Tiny’sss offer isss not enough.

59

Neither is Captain Pedge. When those nine ships moved against Don Mondo, they did so as part of co-ordinated plan to make all of us freer. Calling those in Don Mondo flotilla “stooges” is allowing the I.C.U.P. to rewrite history to their liking.

I expect better of such finely engineering memory circuits.

If you do attack the Quisquiliae sStruem , we’ll have fewer ships when the Coalition Main battle fleet gets here. Do you think you’ll be able to talk Tiny into sticking around and helping us? Because the Talionis sure would be handy for facing the Scylla if we’re lacking the Quisquiliae sStruem and her allies.

Also, you may want to consider the battle mechanics. If you join Tiny, and Pedge and his allies inflict 200 hp of damage, the Talionis sails away, but you likely don’t. The risk to your ship is much higher than the risk to the mission.

Whatever you ultimately choose, I do appreciate that you’ve had the decency and respect to discussing your reasons and motives openly.

Thank you.

–David Falkayn

60

This is correct. While we attempt to respect the local laws, Leiberians don’t even recognize the ICUPs authority, much less be one of their stooges. We laugh at them like we do at a fat mall cop or anyone who works for the TSA. Our involvement with ICUP was part of the overall plan. The only reason we picked the ICUP mission was the promise of ship upgrades and a decent rewards (all but cancelled out by my dear Ella). But had the consensus around the Space Truck Stop had been different, we never would have taken on that mission.

Perhaps you have a faulty algorithm. We have records of a lower case “el” being confused with and uppercase “eye”, leading to faulty output. We would be more than happy to provide you with a nanobot scanning and programming unit, which should fix any faulty software problems.

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