Behold, the pink coffin pool float

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PINK? They are ignoring their target audience if it doesn’t come in black. Maybe black with purple elements.


Looks like a prop from Troma’s Gay Goth Beach Vampires.

And if Troma didn’t make a film like that, somebody should.


The caption! Like a perfect punch line!

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When I picture someone trying to float in that, the coffin collapses in on them from the sides. Shouldn’t the bottom tubes run side to side, instead of length-wise!?

Burial at sea. It is a coffin after all.


For a viking funeral, inflate the float with hydrogen gas and have a friends shoot still-burning skewers of beach campfire marshmallows.

(Edit: don’t actually do this because microplastics)




Goths can still like pink. But definitely they should’ve done their photo op with black. Would it get significantly hotter exposed to the sun if it was black vs another color? (I very rarely have used inflatables at the pool or beach growing up so i don’t know).


Nothing on Kickstarter yet. Let’s post a link when it’s up.

So, floating on the margin of the ensuing scene, and in full sight of it, when the half-spent suction of the sunk ship reached me, I was then, but slowly, drawn toward the closing vortex. When I reached it, it had subsided to a creamy pool. Round and round, then, and ever contracting toward the button-like black bubble at the axis of that slowly wheeling circle, like another Ixion I did revolve. Till, gaining that vital centre, the black bubble upward burst; and now, liberated by reason of its cunning spring, and, owing to its great buoyancy, rising with great force, the coffin life-buoy shot lengthwise from the sea, fell over, and floated by my side. Buoyed up by that coffin, for almost one whole day and night, I floated on a soft and dirge-like main. The unharming sharks, they glided by as if with padlocks on their mouths; the savage sea-hawks sailed with sheathed beaks. On the second day, a sail drew near, nearer, and picked me up at last. It was the devious-cruising ‘Rachel,’ that in her retracing search after her missing children only found another orphan.


Full marks for the Moby Dick quote.


As Sarah Vowell quickly learned when she dabbled in the subculture, “pink” is actually very advanced Goth:

When I was pondering a good goth name for myself, I paged through my reference books on death and dying, looking for something gruesome. But nothing felt right. Maybe it’s because I came of age in the '80s and I’ve seen Blue Velvet too many times, but to me, the really frightening stuff has nothing to do with ravens and rats. The truly sordid has a sunny, WASP-y glow. Therefore, I tell them, the most perverse name I can think of is “Becky.”

It turns out, that by saying the magic word “Becky,” I have suddenly moved to the head of the class, goth-wise. As Monique puts it, “You are understanding the pink of goth. You’ve skipped a couple levels, and you went straight to pink.” The group’s consensus is that pink is the apex of expert goth, that newcomers and neophytes should stick with basic black, but those confident enough, complex enough, can exude gloom and doom while wearing the color of sugar and spice. Indra argues that pink can be an intelligent, sarcastic color, though Terrance says of experimenting with pink, “Proceed with caution. I can’t warn you enough.”


I’d say that Marla from Fight Club pulled that off pretty well.


This feels about 100 years ahead of its time:

“Perfect for waiting for sea levels to recede!”

The advertising copy writes itself!

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Very much yes!

And obviously, they should have made the demo version black and pink stripes. Goth-loli w/ a bit of Tim Burton ftw!


I don’t consider myself “in” the culture, but I dabble. Pink and other colors are elements, especially in cyber goths who like to contrast bold colors. It isn’t all black and white. But I still think it needs SOME black.


I dare someone to do a google images search for “pink and black.”

Goth Level: Expert

vs. unironic pink frilly dress:



Did better than that: