Being followed? Here's how to shake your tail


#1

[Read the post]


#2

Q: “Did you shake that tail?”

A: “Yeah, I think I lost it.”


#3

Or just Shake A Tail Feather?


#4

I imagine that “revolving door” bit will only work if you’re being followed by the world’s worst investigator. Did the author come up with these ideas by watching bad movies?


#5


#6

I’m laughing my balls off over here at these ridiculous 10 cent PI novel antidotes!


#7

“The good news is if you know you’re being followed , they’re probably just trying to intimidate you. The dangerous ones would be those that you don’t know are following you.”
— British Embassy Worker, Them: Adventures with Extremists


#8

Wise guy – a punk like you wouldn’t last 15 minutes on these mean streets.
Listen here, Mac, Armchair dicks like you make me mad. Real mad. So mad I can taste it.


#9

What exactly does it taste like?


#10
  1. turn around
  2. grab lapels
  3. shake vigorously
  4. pour and serve!

#11

Armchair Dick, of course.


#12

How about confronting them in a public place? That’s what I would do.


#13

i have had to shake a tail exactly once.

  1. cross street and turn around to confirm you are being tailed
  2. go into a bar and wait for them
  3. call a taxi, while loudly explaining the reason you need one is someone is trying to mug you

god it is scary


#14

pretty much. the only time i caught one was because he was probably high or drunk.


#15

I’ve done this. I was walking home with a friend one night when a van passed by us and slowed down before driving off. After my friend and I went our separate ways at an intersection, the van came back and began slowly driving down the street behind me, with the sliding door open. There were several guys inside.

When I reached the liquor store on the corner before my house, I turned around and screamed at the top of my lungs for them to stop following me. It was a college town so there were a lot of people outside that liquor store. They drove off. It was mildly embarrassing, but better that than any other alternative.


#16

Which is to say that it tastes bitter and bilious like crow stew reheated one too many times – it clings to the back of your throat like water doesn’t.


#17

I learned all I need to know about this by watching old episodes of “The Rockford Files”, thank you very much.


#18

#19

As a 'Murican, I’m pretty sure that you just shoot them.


#20

Most of the car-related ones boil down to “drive like a careless asshole.” Swerve unpredictably, cut across the front of semis, zip in front of oncoming traffic on left turns.

Sweet, all this time I’ve been throwing off tails without even trying!