Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/09/16/conservative-thinker-ben-shapi.html
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Ben is asking for a friend of course.
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Typical rhetorical legerdermaine from Shapiro.
Make them pass a test which sounds reasonable but is impossible to pass. You can imagine how it would play out if the accuser decided to play ball.
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At a guess, I’ll go with “small and uninspiring.” Did I win?
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Whoa. Is this the source of the sudden “Sharpie” stuff? Some talking head saying Trump needed more Shapiro and he misheard? Are Trump, Shapiro, and markers connected in some odorous plot? Is Trump high on either Sharpie or Shapiro? Just asking questions here… 
(Also, ask and the universe will provide. My guess is someone, somewhere out there has a photo of his Nixon from where he sent it to their cell phone, and this is going to get them to tweet it out…)
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Brett’s wife refers to it as “Whiskey Dick”.
You get the picture.
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Kavanaugh’s dick looks exactly like Ben Shapiro. Prove me wrong.
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As the police like to say “nothing to see here, folks.”
It’s a caucasian penis, it will be pale, probably averaged sized.
Is it circumcised? There’s a 50/50 chance you could guess that right. Even if there is a birthmark it’s unlikely anyone would remember from a fleeting glimpse.
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I give 50:50 odds that one or more verified Brett Kavanaugh dick pics appear in the media in the next few days and we’ll be discussing those for weeks on end.
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“Let’s see, it had a longish, wiggly thing in the front resting on a lumpy, squishy thing, and I seem to recall a beard off some sort. No, that’s not quite right. Just imagine Dom DeLuise cuddling a baby hippo while laying in a haystack.”
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WTF is up with all of these sexual assault deniers whose reasoning for believing something definitely didn’t happen is that the victims didn’t record their abuse or they didn’t publicize the event the next day or file a police report, etc?
If you’re intellectually honest, at best you can say, “I don’t have enough information to make a determination.” But these fuckers “know” shit about third parties they’ve never met based entirely on a lack of the evidence they pretend they’d expect to see.
I mean, I know the answer, the truth doesn’t matter to them and they’ll say whatever helps “their side,” but it’s just galling all the same.
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Like most transphobes, Shapiro is unnecessarily fascinated by genitalia. Couldn’t agree more about him eating a back of dicks. Hell, he can have mine. I have no use for it.
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I came to this thread looking for this exact response 
Edit to add:
If we locked, Kavanaugh, Shapiro, and Yiannopoulos in a room together, would it create a singularity? Could we hope they would all be catapulted into a different space-time continuum?
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Does it look like a lighthouse though?
Actually, now that i have asked the question I have decided I can happily live my life without knowing the answer to that.
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o_0 WTF? Man, Shapiro has moments of clarity where he isn’t a complete garbage shill. But then he has moments like this.
Also am I the only one who notices that Shapiro can’t make eye contact with the camera? I mean, I don’t totally blame him, I have trouble doing that sometimes with people, but I am not a professional personality on camera.
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He’s afraid the camera is going to ask him tough questions like Andrew Neil did.
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NEXT on The View: We interview Brett Kavanaugh’s penis.
Excerpt: It’s been a rough ride. I don’t condone the behavior of Brett. I’m looking into legal options to sever all of our ties. [Brett mumbles] Shut up Brett! No one cares what you think!
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