Best ways to reply to an insult, according to a neuroscientist

Ethel Merman on abusive husband Ernest Borgnine.

Spoilered for language:

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“It has lately been drawn to your correspondent’s attention that, at social gatherings, she is not the human magnet she would be. Indeed, it turns out that as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, she ranks somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.”

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‘Playing music’ thread here on BB?

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Wait, so are you saying that this neuroscientist wrote a manual and that we should read it?

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Donald Glover Yes GIF

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What’s so insulting about being a grandmother?

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Everyone knows that the gerontocratic matriarchy is dangerous and backward! Old ladies are never forward thinking, but always reactionary bigots!!! /s

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Even without grandchildren, grannies are a force to be reckoned with!

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I usually respond to insults with an eye roll, if anything. They usually just don’t bother me. When I was younger, though, and long before I transitioned, I would get a lot of comments about my height. Or, specifically, my lack of it. I’m 4’11". It always amazed me how often complete strangers would say things like, “Wow, you’re really short!” Since I transitioned, that doesn’t happen because people just don’t find a 4’11" women as comment worthy as a 4’11" man. But, back in the day, I learned to pre-emptively defuse things by making self-deprecating jokes about my height soon after meeting new people. Part of this was an attempt to let people know I wasn’t self-conscious about my height. This ended up backfiring on me with my closest friends in college, who apparently decided that I was so comfortable with being short that they were free to make all the short jokes they wanted. It got old very quickly. One day, I left our apartment (we were roommates by this point) to find one of them had placed a bumper sticker on my car. I don’t even remember what it said, but it was an obvious reference to how short I was, and this time, it just really hurt. I don’t know why, but it did. I handled it by calmly removing the bumper sticker and never mentioning it to them at all. When I got home later, they were clearly expecting some kind of reaction from me, but I pretended nothing had happened. I think one of them tried to subtilely ask me if I noticed anything on my car, but I just said no. Later, I think one of them went out to look at my car, and after that, they all just seemed confused. I don’t know if they figured out that I did see it, or what, but the jokes stopped. So one way or another, the message was received. And I learned one of the dangers of self-deprecating humor, so I don’t use that much any more.

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Posterity will ne’er survey
a Nobler grave than this:
Here lie the bones of Castlereagh:
Stop, traveller, and piss!

  • Lord Byron
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Yes!

Please post any ideas, sounds, suggestions, clips etc. I’ve recently started playing again and I think everyone else should too.

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Joker vs Batman

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I like using a empty, dead-eyed stare, with a bit of droll if I can muster it.

The “Patrick Star” method.

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I try to keep my humor self-depreciative because I can get really zingy with people in the name of a joke and try to use it for good only.

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“Are you trying to flirt with me?” – often effective.

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“I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man”.

I’ve used it a few times, amongst friends, but I have no idea who came up with it.

Also, “Y’know, it’s not true what everybody says about you”. Leave it at that.

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Or you could do what many Neurodivergent folk do:

Completely miss that the other person is insulting you in the moment then suddenly realise in a flash what was going on, days or years later, then spend most of your life unable to take anything anyone says about you on face value, no matter how complementary it is, just in case it’s an insult you haven’t got yet.

'Cause, let me tell you, that’s awesome.

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Or you could always flip your shit at someone who wasn’t being offensive this time and get looked at forever.

That one’s cool, too.

:face_with_diagonal_mouth:

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Haha just watching Kelly’s Heroes in honor of Sutherland and in one scene someone says to Rickles’ character “you guys smell like you fell into a dung heap” to which Rickles says back “kinda makes ya homesick, don’t it”

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I always liked Derren Brown’s approach as described here:

Outlining his irrational behaviour strategy in the Metro today, Brown recalled an incident when he was approached by a suspicious character spoiling for a fight on his way home at 3am in the morning.
“I said to him, ‘The wall outside my house isn’t 4ft high’ and he was suddenly confused.”
The idea of the psychological tactic, he added, is a bit like “pulling the rug out from somebody”.
“He started breaking down in tears because all of that adrenaline and aggression had to go somewhere. So he did the adrenaline dump. They use it in martial arts where they get people to relax before you hit them to make the blow more powerful.”
The key, he said, to being prepared is to remember a random line or a song lyric you can use – and the more out of context it is, the better.
“It’s not quite the magic trick, but it will save you a lot of pain and money.”

Of course, if you should ever see Derren Brown approaching you on the street and smiling, the best course of action is to run the fuck away.

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