The scourge of mansplaining

Garbage in, garbage out. I reject the idea that soliciting angry mansplainers will serve any useful purpose. Disagree all you like. I’ve spent my entire adult life in male dominated spaces and never found a mansplainer’s opinion to be worth shit.


Even if the tactic worked i personally don’t subscribe to the idea of purposefully being a dick and manipulate others to get the results you want (ie restaurant recommendations). Might be fine for some but i’m good, i’ll find another way.


Isn’t that a tautology? I thought “not worth shit” was part of the definition of mansplaining. If it’s useful and worthwhile it’s just explaining.

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I appreciate the joke, but mansplaining is more about the delivery and the context than the content. It’s, in principle, possible to mansplain in a way that does actually contain helpful information (though I’ve yet to see it happen :grimacing:). It’s largely about the assumption of ignorance or stupidity in the woman.


Thank you for the thoughtful reply. If I assume most people are stupid (which I do because statistically at least half actually are) and “explain” things whether asked or not, is it mansplaining if at one particular moment it is a woman just by her bad luck? Just checking to make sure I’m just a know-it-all and not an asshole (or at least not THAT asshole).

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I’m not sure being condescending to everyone is that much of a defense.


Not sure if you’re kidding, but assuming half the planet is stupid is very poor footing to start any conversation on. I assume you are referencing the old saw that “half the world is below average intelligence” which is a meaningless piece of classist bullshit that doesn’t deserve repeating.

Instead, try looking at the world as, “everyone’s knowledge and expertise lie in different areas”. Everyone is smart about something (likely many things!), it’s simply likely to be very different things than you. Try approaching people with excitement to find out what things they know about instead of assuming you are smarter than them.


Great way to put that, and oh how I wish more people would follow such a maxim.

Most of us are instead so often led astray by stereotypes for types of people who are supposedly “stupid.”


Once I walked up to a friend who’d been hanging with a guy. I asked, “what are you two talking about?” And she said, “Oh, he’s just telling me a bunch of stuff I already know.” (They’d been talking about cars.)

I always think of that when trying to explain “mansplaining” to men. Do your best to never be in the position that that is how someone you’re talking to would respond. It’s seriously not that hard. :joy:


Great example!

Even if I know some men who just wouldn’t get it, since they just assume deep down that a woman could not possibly know the first thing about cars.

I wish there were an effective way to also say something like, Just stop thinking it’s important for you to explain anything that you haven’t been asked to explain. It’s okay to ask a sincere question or two instead!


Maybe, “know your audience, dude.”
I could imagine saying that in all tones, from sincere to snarky, and somewhat getting the point across.
One time I was on a team of two interviewing people for a position at an energy efficiency firm. One older male interviewee started “educating” me about different types of solar water heaters so I just jumped in with some super technical specs and questions, bc I found it so annoying that he assumed I didn’t know that stuff.
Would it kill them to ask, “how much do you know about…?” before launching into their monologue? It would not.


This is it right here- it’s about hubris versus humility at the end of the day. Mansplaining is a selfish act done for one’s own gratification and ego. Asking questions of the other person is a selfless act that considers the other person first.


Evidence appears to suggest dudes are scared it might be fatal… :smirk:


Who knew their masculinity is so fragile?

(Well, a lot of us knew. “Actually.” :smirk: )


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Are you familiar with…?

Heart Attack Reaction GIF by MOODMAN


My partner’s grandfather once sat down and explained to me how to build a stretcher step by step, while I was out on the porch cleaning and removing a damaged canvas from a stretcher that I had personally built.


OMG, what did you do?
It brings up a funny confluence of inborn reaction to mansplaining, and my upbringing of “respect thy elders.”


Oh yeah, there was nothing to do when he got going. We couldn’t even steer him away from using racial slurs when we were over.

He was an unstoppable wave of saying things, and did not react to either ignoring or other people saying things. So I mostly went with ignoring.

He usually had his hearing aid turned off so he didn’t have to listen to other people anyway.