Shower your loved ones with you.
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Seems to me that a better plan would be to haul it out to sea and let the sharks and other critters dispose of it. Maybe even detonate it out in the open ocean to facilitate that process.
Circle of life and all that.
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Fortunately - I go with everything. You’ll look fabulous.
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Most definitely the very zenith of television news reporting.
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Dave Barry’s old article http://theexplodingwhale.com/evidence/resources/dave-barry-article/ says that “something smears the camera lens” after the explosion. I have long wondered if he was exaggerating for comic effect or if he had seen raw uncut footage that the usual video doesn’t have. The commentary in the usual video just says “our cameras stopped running” shortly after the explosion.
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Always brings this Ballard story to mind. The whale is funnier though.
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Trouble is, how do you move 10+ tons of, now slightly squidgy and decomposing flesh, into the sea? Not only is it really heavy, but anything you can get a grip on (like putting a rope around the tail), will probably just rip off.
Plus, if you do manage to get it in the sea, what stops it from washing back onto the beach? (Except explosives, which might kill a lot of those scavengers).
Other things you shouldn’t do with a dead whale involve putting it on a truck and driving it through town:
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Hey, fuckin eat it. You didn’t get that “scientific” whaling exemption for nothin.
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That picture’s from Taiwan, the whale had died after being hit accidentally by a ship.
Taiwan do not hunt whales, only Japan, Iceland and Norway still do commercially. A few other countries still allow traditional whale hunts.
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Have some ideas:
Tugboat at high tide
For preventing washing up, detonation at sea would help sink the corpse. Perhaps something as simple as an anchor, not tied but attached to the whale in the traditional way of tethering a whale to something: a huge harpoon.
Great scooter ad, though.
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