Billion-dollar spy satellite 'Zuma' lost in failed SpaceX mission

What if you needed to launch one of the most expensive and sophisticated spy satellites ever, but you are so strapped for earth to LEO capability you are using a (possibly) evil genius who has a side business in BFR. So everyone knows where it is going up from and can track it and so on.

But maybe your ‘oooops’ is on purpose. Dang! Our spy satellite is kaput, it’ll just burn up and fall in the ocean. Nothing to see here folks, move along. Meanwhile your stealth spy sat slowly goes into a different orbit entirely.

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Maybe it’s been pwned and somebody else has a brand new spy satellite.

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Thing is, there are always spy satellites up there; multiple ones, even. Keeping an eye on the trouble spots, keeping eyes on potential trouble spots, just hanging around in case Atlantis rises again or Canada decides to replay the 1812 War. They’re relatively visible in normal wavelengths, they glow in infra-red against the 3K cosmic background, and are rarely stealthed so will show up on radar (those solar panels show up nice and bright at the right angles). Even if it was hard to see, the rocket launch wasn’t, and Newton’s laws let you predict its position with high enough accuracy to track the orbiting burn when it occurs.

So why would this one need an elaborate cover story? Especially one that draws attention to it, ensuring that amateur satellite-spotters will be looking out for it? (Not to mention pros.)

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We don’t even know if they put a satellite inside the fairing.

Heh. Nice catch. :slight_smile:

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Hopefully not Drax, anyway.

Looks like no one has made this joke yet so here i am to really reach for said bad joke :sunglasses:

Looks like that Zuma satellite went zuma-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom

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I was going to make that one, but I just couldn’t word it in a way that worked for me. But brilliant minds and all that…

I am more than happy to make terrible word play

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The only limit, is yourself.

You may not be surprised. Many years ago, a small rocket engine turned up in a ‘technical’ surplus business quite local to us; it was one of ours from many years before and just sat around in the surplus shop waiting to be picked up for scrap. Another time, needing to play a little design jazz with a particular obsolete engine, we discovered one in an out-of-state museum. Bought it back. Played with it.

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So it’s a perfect BoingBoing story!

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Neat! Who is “us”, out of curiosity?

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No Such Astronauts?

That wouldn’t have been Norton Sales in North Hollywood, would it?

Their rocket engine section is always worth a browse. (-:

(I see they’e now dba “N.S. Aerospace Props”. Heh.)

Because I was being facetious.

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Ooh, pretty.


(Both from one of the tweets in the OP)

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Rocketdyne (pre-P&W acquisition).

Nothing unseemly about either situation; no security/strategic concerns about the hardware. All sorts of surprising things get sold for scrap (and don’t actually get scrapped… as we discovered).

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Very likely an axial view of the vehicle.

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Rrrrrrio!
Oh, me-oh!
Oh, my-oh!

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Classified Payload = Payload mission is classified.

Missions don’t always have to be about spying; they could be about testing new, secret propulsion systems or spaceframes.

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