Biscuit Monster visits the UK with John Oliver

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And whatever you do, donā€™t ask for a napkin to clean up after youā€™ve eatenā€¦

Why not?

Itā€™s fairly common for napkin outside of the US to be understood to mean ā€˜sanitary napkinā€™ as in the womenā€™s health item. The alternative in the UK specifically is ā€˜servietteā€™ to refer to the hand and face cleaning piece of cloth or paper. I think this distinction is probably falling more and more by the wayside however.

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I work with older adults in New Zealand and those aged over 75 or so (at least the women) can use ā€œnapkinā€ to refer to infant cloth nappies (diapers for you Americanā€™s).

Well Iā€™ve lived in the UK my entire life and have only ever heard napkin and serviette being used completely interchangeably.

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Granted, Iā€™m not the target market for them but I think ā€œsanitary towelā€ is possibly the more common term in the UK? And napkins - usually cloth, serviettes - usually paper?

What Cookie Monster eats is, and to my knowledge has always been, referred to as a cookie in the UK. Cookies are simply one of many different foodstuffs know as a biscuit.

The ā€œlittle tā€ gag seems much better suited to Fozzy than cookie monster. Of course, when I was a kid watching sesame street back in the 90s, they the muppets never seemed to crack jokes or say anything punny.

Although, Iā€™m pretty sure itā€™s more likely that most of their humor managed to whoosh over my head. The family says I was a precocious child, but I think I just didnā€™t let on that I was didnā€™t understand more than half of anything that people told me.

As with many things in the UK, napkin/serviette is a term that allows for subtle distinctions in social ā€œclassā€ (not to be confused with actual economic class).
Using the term serviette will mark you out as an upwardly-mobile middle class person who wants to be seen to use ā€œpoliteā€ terms (Think Hyacinth Bucket and youā€™d be spot on), whereas napkin is happily used by both working class and upper class people, the former because they donā€™t feel the need to use ā€œfancyā€ terminology to distinguish themselves from working class people, the latter because they donā€™t need to use such terminology to distinguish themselves from working class people (But also sometimes to distinguish themselves from the sort of people who say ā€œservietteā€).

Hey, I didnā€™t say it was going to make sense.

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How very Non-U.

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I was told by my home economics teacher many years ago, that biscuit is a legally-defined term, and they must all be of the exact same weight and size, whereas cookies can be more irregular. Whether this is true, or just shit she made up, I dunno (FWIW, this was during the teacherā€™s strike of the 80s, and she was an NAS/UWT scab, so maybe donā€™t trust her).

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