Boris Johnson to be new UK Prime Minister

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/07/23/boris-johnson-to-be-new-uk-pri.html

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To everyone from the UK, my sincere condolences.

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Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II: “Hell, no! Get the fuck out of here, you disgusting little turd! I’m taking over.”

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May this clownish fabulist’s career be destroyed by the monster he helped create more quickly than those of his immediate predecessors. The UK needs all the small mercies it can get.

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Sounds like he’s receiving a warm welcome from the british public

Larry is probably going to live translate Boris’ first speech at 10 Downing to the cat community via cleaning it’s butthole throughout most of the speech

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As with the U.S., the U.K get the leader they deserve ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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The British public … were at no stage invited to vote on whether Gordon Brown should be PM.

I don’t remember any Labour spokesman revealing that they planned to do a big switcheroo after only two years.

…a transition about as democratically proper as the transition from Claudius to Nero.

http://www.boris-johnson.com/2007/06/21/gordon-brown/

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As with the US, he didn’t win a popular vote.

In fact, he got in on 0.14% of the vote.

That’s not the margin of victory, by the way. Only Conservative Party members were eligible to vote for him, and the number of votes he got from them translates to 0.14% of the total population.

So if you hear him banging on about a mandate to do anything - which he will, because populists far prefer spouting that kind of crap to actually doing things - just remember his entire mandate is 0.14%.

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“I get old wooden crates and then I paint them (to look like buses)”

“I put passengers—you really want to know this?—and paint the passengers enjoying themselves on the wonderful bus.” -BJ Interview TheGuardian

TotalGrossAustraliancattledog-max-1mb

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Kind of disappointed @beschizza that we didn’t get a photoshopped pic, just an actual portrait.

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USA: How can we possibly have put such a clown-haired moron in charge? How can we BE this incompetent?
UK: Hold my pint.

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Not sure whether I’m more pissed at Cameron for chickenshitting out after binding to the nonbinding resolution, or at May for her equally bleak lack of courage in cleaning up Cameron’s fucking mess. Now this.

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Jennings in the Graun:

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We’re going to need a bigger milkshake.

https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/68387-largest-milkshake/

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I will install Nero as my successor. People will be so enraged by him they will end the Empire once and for all and bring back the Republic
-Claudius
(It didn’t happen)

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So when are we going to get Thom Yorke’s recording of 'Fuck off back to Eton" to number one?

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What’s the over/under on how long Boris actually lasts, if he’s generally loathed and looking at a Tory revolt?

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Accelerationism never works. At best, people go back to the relative comfort of the status quo.

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download

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“What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?”

Hello, hurray, I’d prefer the plague.

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