I love ultra-practical people, this reminds me of an Econ prof who didn’t recycle because he said it cost more to recycle and wasted money. Yup. I’m sure this guy is a genius who loves being the smartest person in the room - until he clears it
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Oh no. That stuff does not give you a settled, sensibly regular digestive system. It makes your stomach bubble like a shaken up coke can.
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No. There are people who bragged about how they smelled better about bathing in previous BB threads
a whole developed nation, walking around with shit-encrusted asses. Surreal.
It would be a great leveller.
The Queen smells of shit too. She’s poops, just like me.
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Neti pots work. As do flower pots with the stems cut down. Also work great for getting water where it needs to go while cleaning the bathroom.
Those people were talking about giving up soap or shampoo, not giving up showering/bathing.
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What nation would this be? Some of us use wet wipes and ■■■■■ tissues to clean.
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Sadly, it’s very rare for homes in the US to have outlets near toilets; in many cities it’s not allowed for ‘safety’ reasons. I live in an older home with no outlet of any kind in the bathroom. To install a washlet, I’d need one installed first, which is no small expense. Trust me, I’ve pined for a Toto washlet for years after using them in Japan.
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Can verify. Just try arranging shower music without batteries in the US.
Just here for the jokes.
Also, can I get on the disappointment spreadsheet if I say that I am disappointed with Boing Boing for not putting me on the disappointment spreadsheet? Or is that like too recursive or whatever?
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Nah, just belongs in the Meta category.
He must use wet-wipes or something, or have a bidet.
Seriously I’m not much for sweating, I get it on my forehead and that’s about it. If it weren’t for spills, my feet, and my anus and genitals I could probably got for quite a stretch without bathing, but it would never occur to me to want to.
Must be a newer safety thing. I’ve generally lived in houses built in the 60’s and before, and there’s always been outlets near the toilets/sinks.
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Probably so. This place is a 2003 build.
The Lady’s Dressing Room, by Jonathan Swift
Five hours, (and who can do it less in?)
By haughty Celia spent in dressing;
The goddess from her chamber issues,
Arrayed in lace, brocades and tissues.
Strephon, who found the room was void,
And Betty otherwise employed,
Stole in, and took a strict survey,
Of all the litter as it lay;
Whereof, to make the matter clear,
An inventory follows here.
And first a dirty smock appeared,
Beneath the armpits well besmeared.
Strephon, the rogue, displayed it wide,
And turned it round on every side.
On such a point few words are best,
And Strephon bids us guess the rest,
But swears how damnably the men lie,
In calling Celia sweet and cleanly.
Now listen while he next produces
The various combs for various uses,
Filled up with dirt so closely fixt,
No brush could force a way betwixt.
A paste of composition rare,
Sweat, dandruff, powder, lead and hair;
A forehead cloth with oil upon’t
To smooth the wrinkles on her front;
Here alum flower to stop the steams,
Exhaled from sour unsavory streams,
There night-gloves made of Tripsy’s hide,
Bequeathed by Tripsy when she died,
With puppy water, beauty’s help
Distilled from Tripsy’s darling whelp;
Here gallypots and vials placed,
Some filled with washes, some with paste,
Some with pomatum, paints and slops,
And ointments good for scabby chops.
Hard by a filthy basin stands,
Fouled with the scouring of her hands;
The basin takes whatever comes
The scrapings of her teeth and gums,
A nasty compound of all hues,
For here she spits, and here she spews.
But oh! it turned poor Strephon’s bowels,
When he beheld and smelled the towels,
Begummed, bemattered, and beslimed
With dirt, and sweat, and earwax grimed.
No object Strephon’s eye escapes,
Here petticoats in frowzy heaps;
Nor be the handkerchiefs forgot
All varnished o’er with snuff and snot.
The stockings why should I expose,
Stained with the marks of stinking toes;
Or greasy coifs and pinners reeking,
Which Celia slept at least a week in?
A pair of tweezers next he found
To pluck her brows in arches round,
Or hairs that sink the forehead low,
Or on her chin like bristles grow.
The virtues we must not let pass,
Of Celia’s magnifying glass.
When frightened Strephon cast his eye on’t
It showed visage of a giant.
A glass that can to sight disclose,
The smallest worm in Celia’s nose,
And faithfully direct her nail
To squeeze it out from head to tail;
For catch it nicely by the head,
It must come out alive or dead.
Why Strephon will you tell the rest?
And must you needs describe the chest?
That careless wench! no creature warn her
To move it out from yonder corner;
But leave it standing full in sight
For you to exercise your spite.
In vain the workman showed his wit
With rings and hinges counterfeit
To make it seem in this disguise
A cabinet to vulgar eyes;
For Strephon ventured to look in,
Resolved to go through thick and thin;
He lifts the lid, there needs no more,
He smelled it all the time before.
As from within Pandora’s box,
When Epimetheus op’d the locks,
A sudden universal crew
Of human evils upwards flew;
He still was comforted to find
That Hope at last remained behind;
So Strephon lifting up the lid,
To view what in the chest was hid.
The vapors flew from out the vent,
But Strephon cautious never meant
The bottom of the pan to grope,
And foul his hands in search of Hope.
O never may such vile machine
Be once in Celia’s chamber seen!
O may she better learn to keep
Those “secrets of the hoary deep!”
As mutton cutlets, prime of meat,
Which though with art you salt and beat
As laws of cookery require,
And toast them at the clearest fire;
If from adown the hopeful chops
The fat upon a cinder drops,
To stinking smoke it turns the flame
Pois’ning the flesh from whence it came,
And up exhales a greasy stench,
For which you curse the careless wench;
So things, which must not be expressed,
When plumped into the reeking chest,
Send up an excremental smell
To taint the parts from whence they fell.
The petticoats and gown perfume,
Which waft a stink round every room.
Thus finishing his grand survey,
Disgusted Strephon stole away
Repeating in his amorous fits,
Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!
But Vengeance, goddess never sleeping
Soon punished Strephon for his peeping;
His foul imagination links
Each Dame he sees with all her stinks:
And, if unsavory odors fly,
Conceives a lady standing by:
All women his description fits,
And both ideas jump like wits:
But vicious fancy coupled fast,
And still appearing in contrast.
I pity wretched Strephon blind
To all the charms of female kind;
Should I the queen of love refuse,
Because she rose from stinking ooze?
To him that looks behind the scene,
Satira’s but some pocky queen.
When Celia in her glory shows,
If Strephon would but stop his nose
(Who now so impiously blasphemes
Her ointments, daubs, and paints and creams,
Her washes, slops, and every clout,
With which he makes so foul a rout)
He soon would learn to think like me,
And bless his ravished sight to see
Such order from confusion sprung,
Such gaudy tulips raised from dung.
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Well maybe that’s why I seem to have an extremely strong immune system. I give mine a workout in the shower.
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The smell of human skin makes me gag…even if there’s no BO involved. I can smell dandruff. Men who are mostly bald don’t really think about shampooing what hair they have left and they smell especially bad to me. I suspect it’s the same kind of reaction people have to dogs and cats. I can’t even imagine what this guy smells like.
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Sinks yes, but toilets? Newer houses still have outlets near the sinks (for shavers, etc), they just generally have GFCI protected outlets now. Weirdly, my house that was built in the 80’s has a GFCI on the outlet by the sink in the downstairs powder room, and all the other bathroom outlets in the house are on the same circuit so they didn’t bother putting a GFCI on any of the other ones. My home inspector went and verified all of them just to be sure.
My circle of mostly bald men (me and a few buddies) would disagree with you on that quite vehemently.
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