Butt-lifting jeans a success


Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/09/09/butt-lifting-jeans-a-success.html

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Me gusto de extremos grandes y no puedo mentir




Old men aren’t always recognized as the fashion-forward trendsetters they are.


Recommend me a brand of butt-lifting jeans

Ass-cenders are pretty good for everyday wear.


Nothing gets between me and my So Fines…

They don’t necessarily lift my ass, but they do lift the hearts of all those around me…


Depends; do you just want to push up your butt or do you want your 'nads to come along for the ride?


Butt lifting pants? In America? That’s going to take some seriously strong pants.*


  • Take that, consequences of poor diet and no exercise!


So this means I can stop paying people to follow me around holding my butt up with their hands?



Back when I was young and still thought it was ok to check out people’s bums, myself and a friend noticed that Bench jeans seemed to have just this effect. Either that or they were only worn by girls who had a great looking arse.

Man, I was a little perv back then.


That’s a different brand, but as America ages look for jeans with those built in!


ok, if we want to diversify our market we are going to have to not just call them butt-lifting. Butt-lifting is somewhat déclassé, ass-liftiing is just as bad but more sexualized so we want to definitely have some ass-lifting jeans as well but the main focus should be coming up with brand names that lower the innate crudity of the subject.

So one name could be butter-ups, still has the butt in there that’s important of course - very important, but also sounds like buttercup so it is less crude and more cute. cute but sassy I like that.

Arse-lifting is too British and really awful, we just cannot let our brand be known as Arse-lifting in Britain.

Here’s an idea - Harry Potter, Ron, and Hermione are going out on the town, Harry and Ron are of course looking like clowns in their outfits and Hermione comes out with a pair of our jeans on - Harry and Ron say those are nice, ‘ooh’ says Hermione ‘I nearly forgot’, waves her wand and says “Buttockularis Tollit!” and suddenly her butt raises significantly. Harry and Ron say “wow”. Classy all the way, and I guarantee you nobody will ever say arse-lifting jeans in reference to what Hermione is wearing.

Anyway, get back to me on these, feel free to also play around with the idea - but, given the nature of the product please try to avoid crudity or cheapness.

Bryan - Lord of Evil.


More like,

¡Me gustan los culos grandes y no lo puedo negar!


Jordass. Better than Gloria Vanderbutt in the ass lift department.


It’s a fraud! There is no possibility of butt-lifting jeans - The universe has no up!


Will these help me get my chores done by lifting my butt off the couch?


Check out Cabooster. They are probably in the Boing Boing store and 20% off for a limited time only.


You have to pay for that?


unions i tell ya.


WTF is that?