CEREAL is the grimdark reimagining of breakfast mascots I never knew I needed

Originally published at: CEREAL is the grimdark reimagining of breakfast mascots I never knew I needed | Boing Boing

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Please tell me that the wizard is Cookie Jarvis.

Do King Vitamin or King of the Land of Half figure into the political intrigue?

And where does Sugar Bear fit into all this?

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I guess this was already in production when Carmella Creeper was introduced. As the first new Monster Cereal mascot in thirty-five years, as well as the first woman to join the cast, she deserves some recognition. They gave her a distinctive design and a distinctive cereal too.

Untitled

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Forget the promise of a healthy part of this complete breakfast.

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Thanks for the snip. That was more ‘all in’ than I expected. Oh, and mmm brunch!

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Might also take a look at Breakfast of the Gods if you haven’t already. (May be old news, but JIC.) I didn’t know it had been finished. Last I heard, it had been cease-and-desisted before completion.

ETA: Looks it was mentioned on Boing Boing back in December, 2006.

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Looks like they really leaned into Tony The Tiger’s appeal to furries there.

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Cap’n Horatio Magellan Crunch, “Wretched”?? how dare you!

I say good day to you, sir!
humph

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I was lucky enough to read the completion of the story as it was being released as a web comic. As I recall the legal action only stopped the production of a physical bound volume.

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I feel darkly cynical that the struggling sugar cereal market is somewhere behind this. Especially considering the timing of Post carving off this sector of its business.

:GenXshrug:

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Reminds me of something I’ve seen before…

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I’m amazed that the usual arseholes haven’t gone after this for being woke and indoctrinating children

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I’m sure it’s out there but the Monster Cereals have such a limited fall release (compared to when they used to be available year-round and had their own songs) and have slid so far off the radar the anti-woke crowd probably feels there are bigger, easier targets.

Thank you, though, really–I love the possibility that Le Fanu’s novel was an inspiration. Carmella Creeper is, according to the official lore, a “cousin” of Franken Berry, but I could believe the Count is in her family line as well.

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well, when you are a cartoon rendition of a being of amalgamated body parts, you tend to have a lot of “cousins” and the count is assuredly a direct relation.

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Have there been any other cereal mascots that were women or girls? I’m vaguely remembering Strawberry Shortcake – how about any that weren’t already a character from somewhere else?

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Damn, you’re right. The patriarchy is very strong in that sector. I guess Pebbles Flintstone is a girl, but the Fruity Pebbles cereal boxes tend to feature Fred and Barney, not her.

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I don’t know what to make of this, but I hope I can find a copy at the comic shop when I go this weekend. I already am hunting The Old Guard.

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Possibly even more limited than usual. There’s an endcap of all the monster cereals at our grocery store. She’s not on it.

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If you’d rather have your cereal mascot literature in the Death-of-a-salesman-with-murder vein, I’d recommend finding a copy of James Sturm’s ‘The Cereal Killings,’ a comic series from the early '90s. Published by Fantagraphics, and loaded with pathos.

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