Cheap castles, lairs


#1

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#2

Something tells me the upkeep on a castle might be a tad more than on an apartment....


#3

I imagine there are spacecraft that are cheaper than New York apartments.


#4

You definitely don't want to skimp on some features. Some Castle lairs seem like a good value on first glance, but then you find out the security alligators in the moat are really just caimans.


#5

Has Eddie Izzard predicted EVERYTHING this week?

The man's not just a genius, he's precognitive!

Let's trade a castle for a bungalow!


#6

the Wall Street Journal has odd ideas about what's affordable and what's not.


#7

And with more living space.


#8

As a recent emigree to Tucson from San Francisco, I can concur. My energy bill this month was a tad higher than the $30 I'm used to. Also, apparently Arizona has the worst drivers in the Union, at least according to the apologetic insurance rep who doubled our car insurance rate. And with healthcare increases (No sinful Obamacare here! We pay through the nose like true capitalism-worshippers!) I won't be surprised if life here winds up exactly the same expense as in America's second most expensive city.


#9

"bonglie—the Scottish slang word for a tourist"

I've lived in Scotland my entire life and I have never heard of a bonglie so the WSJ just taught me something new.


#10

Single parent with $260k of income a year, including $35k of INVESTMENT INCOME?! They do live in rainbow land! Most real actual factual single parents are making less than $35k of total income per year.

Also, castles, $9 million, cheap?!


#11

That's why it's not called The Main Street Journal.


#12

Ah, the lure of the castle ...

Castles are famously cheap: the upkeep of a castle, once you own it, is famously ruinous. You can buy one for £500,000. Trouble is, it probably needs a new roof (£250,000), double-glazing for 40 windows (£40,000) and the heating bill will set you back £10,000-£25,000 a year. Then you'll discover the joy of furnishing one of the bloody things -- IKEA simply doesn't cut it.

The reason why castles are going cheap on the market is because running a castle is an ongoing nightmare.

On the other hand ...

... There is a style of architecture here in Scotland called Scottish Baronial that dates to the 19th century. Buildings made of stone, with crenelations and battlements all round. And you can get an apartment in this style in the middle of Glasgow or Edinburgh from maybe £150,000 up to £600,000, depending on size and location. All the character of a castle, only in a tenement apartment designed for ordinary people, within walking distance of the center of a big city!


#13

Can i use my Trebuchet in the middle of Glasgow?


#14

I lived in a castle in northern England for most of the last decade, renting a few rooms from the owners. There was no double glazing (no glazing at all on quite a few windows), and no heating apart from open fires (very few of which were ever used). The roof had not been touched since the mid 1970s, and hence leaked profusely.

It was fantastically romantic in the summer, and extremely uncomfortable in the winter.


#15

I stayed at Carbisdale Castle on a holiday in Scotland once.

20th century castle, though, more of a jumped up manor house - as mentioned above by @cstross.

I remember Riber Castle when I was growing up, went to the wildlife park when it was open. That's being turned into apartments, apparently. Starred in Dead Man's Shoes.


#16

Just like Emmet in Cornwall and Grockle in Devon.


#17

Why go all the way to Scotland? Here's one in South Wales, with easy train connections to London.
http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/10634829.Luxury_Newport_castle_back_on_the_market/?ref=mr


#18

Who the hell have the WSJ been getting Scottish lessons from? I've spent a lot of time in Scotland (it's just up the road), have many Scottish friends, and have read many Scottish books, of Scottish people doing Scottish things, in Scotland (to say nothing of drear Scottish police procedurals), and verily I say unto them: nee fucker says 'bonglie'. From the edge of Berwick to the last bloody island.


#19

As I was explaining to my American journalist friend the other day, a Bonglie is, in fact, an immature, wild haggis.
They can be of either sex and are often seen roaming the western slopes of hills in the Highlands during the lead up to autumn.


#20

No, a 'bonglie' is a water-filled glass vessel equipped with hoses and a pipe for the purpose of smoking certain herbal substances.

Not to be confused with a 'donglie' -- a wee hingmy ye stuff oop yer jaxxie -- that's Scots for USB port.

A 'coo' is either the noise a pigeon makes when it's randy or a large self-propelled mound of shaggy orange hair, with horns -- believed by some to be the adult phase of the Haggis life-cycle.

A 'dug' is either what archaeologists leave behind, or a small self-propelled mound of shaggy hair, colour variable and horns missing. Do not taunt the dug or it may bite you on the ankle.

You will need this essential vocabulary when you visit the highlands to buy yer castle.