Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/10/06/check-out-these-6-useful-porta.html
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I would say one, maybe two, of these would be useful in an actual emergency.
Only Batman would need the Batcomputer to analyze colors in an emergency.
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Dunno, I mean what if you have to disarm a bomb based on help from an expert on the phone who knows the universal terrorist wiring color code? You’ll never know how to cut the #FF00FF wire instead of the #FD3F92 wire without a Bluetooth densitometer! :-0
Save a life. Buy BoingBoing Store Emergency Gadgets!
Next, how to use a Twisty Blunt to hold open an emergency tracheotomy…
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Now that sounds like a possibility.
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Ok from the first picture of the keychain I thought they were advertising a tactical fork.
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“Tactical … fork”?
Funny: that’s the only one I considered buying. I would need to know how accurate it is first.
My google mostly returned sporks, but, yeah, pretty much anything comes in “tactical” these days.
https://www.amazon.com/Ka-Bar-Tactical-Spork-9909-Pack/dp/B06XJ5M7F2
You can probably even get tactical Snickers bars…
Doh! That was meant as an over the top joke, but while a google double check didn’t return that exact product, you can get a tactical Snickers bar bag… :-/
https://www.empiretactical.org/custom-us-made-tactical-gear/multicam-multitool-mag-snickers-pouch
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Most guys can only see primary colors. When someone tells us to get the fuschia thingy from upstairs, this could come in handy if it knows the names of those weird so-called colors.
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I can identify Puce very effectively.
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Are you Batman?
I don’t know who would be more confused, my upstairs neighbors, my wife, or myself.
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No, I’m paint-needs-to-be-matched man.
Batman doesn’t need color matching, bats rely on sonar.
The keys in the first picture are held together curiously.
Any idea what is happening here? Is it a product, or magnets, or tactical fork as someone already suggested?
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Modern life is filled with little emergencies we never thought we’d have 20 years ago. Let technology come to the rescue once again with these innovative, on-the-go widgets.
#1: A torch! Twenty years ago we never thought we’d need to see in the dark! Not ever!
#2: A colour sensor! Twenty years ago, we never thought needing to find the right paint to match some fruit would constitute an emergency! … and we still don’t.
#3: A device for “your tobacco of choice”. Boy howdy, no-one smoked twenty years ago.
#4: A lightning cable! Well, okay, yeah, twenty years ago we didn’t think needing to charge your mobile phone was an “emergency”, so I guess I’ll give you this one.
#5: A keychain! Which is… 1.5 meters of rope? Really, 1.5 meters? What the fuck kinda use is that?
#6: A micro bluetooth receiver! For, uh, the dire emergency of your old earbuds not working with your new phone, I guess?
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tactical fork
Honestly, I don’t understand how anyone would gamble with their and their family’s lives, by settling for anything less than military-grade, tactical cutlery. Don’t come crying to me when those carrots and peas make a run at you. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
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1.5 meters of cord is potentially very useful. I cut a lot of cord to similar lengths and lash it to my motorcycle frame for securing loads and emergency bodge jobs. Is also enough for an emergency sling, lashing a travois, or similar. It also has non-cordage uses; strip the inner cords out and you have 7 x 1.5 meters of nylon string (fishing line, trap construction / snares) plus the outer sleeve (excellent kindling).
Hopefully its not all you have in a survival situation, but it never hurts to have MORE.
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