It’s fucking delicious!!
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Seriously. I ate box after box of the stuff when I was a kid. They had good prizes in with the cereal, too.
Now, Crunchberry was another story. An abomination. A crime against breakfast.
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I made the mistake of shopping hungry and saw “cotton candy crunchberries” cereal. It didn’t live up to my imagination.
But seriously, watch that video I posted above.
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You know what’s a crime against breakfast? Grape-Nuts. And yet I love that damn gravel.
And you know what’s a war crime against breakfast? Substituting Grape-Nuts for Chex cereal to make Chex mix. Turns into something like asphalt. Delicious asphalt.
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Grape Nuts always struck me as a clever way to sell completely inedible floor sweepings from some agricultural feed processing plant under the guise of a breakfast cereal.
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I remember a short film on The Tonight Show, in 1981 or so, in which a pair of hands held up a shredded wheat biscuit. A voice, off-screen, said “some people eat this.” The hands then proceeded to pour scouring powder on the biscuit and scrub a sink with it.
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When lost at sea, cannibalism makes perfect sense when Cap’n Crunch is the alternative. Cap’n Crunch already shreds the inside of your mouth, imagine the damage when you have scurvy. You’d bleed to death.
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I don’t care! 
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please, the correct phrase is “slander’n Cap’n Crunch”
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I thought this was going to be about John Draper.
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I get around the cheese-grater issue by making Cap’n Crunch Soup. Just add milk (or non-milk)…prep time 15 minutes.
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I’m shocked the relevant Cryptonomicon passage hasn’t appeared in this thread yet.
Here it is:
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This is arguably the only legitimate place for Cap’n Crunch gifs, so …
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Definitely feels like a viral marketing stunt. Like these Conan OBrian Hanes ads I keep mistaking for actual comedy bits.
Say what, now?
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Although the onion DOES have an in house ad agency “Onion Labs”… so the fact that this is on clickhole rather than there is maybe an indication that they aren’t being paid to do this. Maybe…
A cross between the Onion and Buzzfeed.
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I suspect @knoxblox was referring to the effect of eating Cap’n Crunch on the roof of one’s mouth.
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