Originally published at: Coffee will not stunt your kid's growth | Boing Boing
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Anecdotally, my cousin is one who proves this false.
My first cousin was likely ADHD as a kid, and my aunt and uncle gave him coffee before bedtime to get him to “go wild” and tire himself out before bedtime. By the time he was 18, he stood a good 6’6" at least, and weighed enough to be considered a body double for Dolph Lundgren.
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Giving kids a bit of coffee in sweetened milk has been a thing in my family for a few generations (that I know of, might be longer than that). According to the marks on the wall, it never caused a growth problem, and probably kept me on moo juice for a few years longer - 'cause I wasn’t gonna drink it straight. 
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More likely what happened is that the “go wild” was the period before the stimulant hit his brain and the caffeine actually caused the calmness.
The ADHD reaction to stimulants is not the average person’s reaction. Other people get wired. We calm the fuck down into something approaching normal.
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I drank my milk that way. I would not drink it straight – it was either chocolate and/or coffee.
Now that I can’t drink coffee, my choices are more limited.
My upward growth did not much happen, but I blame that on more obvious factors than coffee.
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My wife is from South America and started giving our sons coffee (with cream and sugar) at a really early age. In restaurants, they would request coffee and the waiters would always freak out. Both are in their early 20s now and don’t even drink the stuff daily.
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My kid doesn’t have a growth
:?
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Maybe they remove growth like they do for tonsils?
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While we’re at it, let’s debunk the other fun myth that is universally prevalent- sugar does not cause hyperactivity in children. I know, nobody believes this and every parent will argue, but it is true. It is 100% myth that sugar makes you hyper. There is no such thing as a sugar rush or crash.
You know what does get kids all amped up? Birthday parties, going to ice cream shops, being given lots of candy, etc. There is no physiological hyperactivity effect from sugar. It’s a myth.
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I don’t have kids myself but from observations of other people’s I would have thought substances like valium or opium are better suited. You want them calm and quiet, right? 
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I’m sure there are reasons I’m short (like most of my family is not-tall) and it probably has nothing to do with the coffee+milk my father started giving me around the time I started solid foods. In his home country (a coffee growing region) it’s a super normal thing to give a kid coffee with lots of milk and sugar.
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Yeah, this is pretty amazing. I have a friend who drinks a can of Red Bull and falls asleep. Cup of strong coffee, same.
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IS there anything (at least regarding what might be considered food) that will stunt a child’s growth? I figured it was 95% genetics at this point.
As a shorter person I hate the emphasis on height being a desirable trait. While certain measures of success may be correlated to height, that is likely more of a societal problem than a genetic one. However I don’t want this to sound like it’s a discrimination problem on the same level as sexism or racism. It is not.
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Poor and/or insufficient nutrition early in life. It’s a common theme with kids who are abused and neglected – the ones who are forced to live in closets, etc.
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Or just poor, for that matter.
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And malnutrition could cause cognitive underdevelopment too.
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The answer is a resounding “no”: There’s no evidence that coffee or caffeine stunts childhood growth and development.
My greatest escapades were post a thoroughly immersive java binge. I’m talking Jimi Hendrix mushroom cloud quad espresso washed down with a chunk of dark chocolate. Watch out world here I come…
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