Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/02/21/collecting-semen-from-an-eleph.html
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That’s it? Not a lot of liquid.
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michaelscott.gif
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Animals where several males mate with the same female, like chimpanzees, produce a lot of sperm to have the best chance of fertilization, but if there is only one male you don’t need a lot.
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Mouse sperm and elephant sperm are the same size.
Hopefully you’ll never have to test that yourself.
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What you gonna do with all that junk,all that junk inside your…
oh never mind!
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Annnnd a fine morning to you too Rob!
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The shot of the elephant’s eye getting wider was, ummm, interesting?
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I was at the Toronto Zoo one time when their elephants decided to have a go. The male was sporting a rather significant stiffy and was doing his best to clamber up on the back of one of the females. The other females in the group gathered around her, lending support - both emotional and physical one would assume, and steadied her for the great moment. Alas, the eager fella was a tad too eager and just as he was about to enter shot his wad every which way but where it was intended. The gals wandered off and resumed their elephantly duties while he just stood there looking forlorn. Everyone in attendance applauded and expressed their sympathies. Quite a show.
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If you’re not already familiar with what it takes to gather semen from an elephant…
What’s wrong with a kiss, boy? Why not start him off with a nice kiss?
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This was just prostate stimulation, not full on masturbation. That wasn’t an orgasm. An orgasm would have produced a lot more semen.
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“HOW TO MASTURBATE AN ELEPHANT”
Um, well ackshually it’s not masturbation if you’re doing it to the elephant!
<pushes glasses up nose>
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#pachydermmilking
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Unless you work as an elephant semen collector, obviously
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They did it like this after destroy thousands of huge waterbeds.
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I recall Chef providing advice on that front in an early South Park episode.
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And that right there is how I discovered Laurie Anderson and have been a fan ever since.
On topic…err umm thanks @beschizza for that interesting video before I finish my coffee.
The elephant looked bored by it all.
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Oh.
That’s not what I expected.
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