Well yeah, of course Eve is ill.
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A particularly nasty genus - one of its species is “Why TF should you have it better than I did?!”
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She could be the first one and shut up and go home
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The entire idea of the right wing is to set up laws, rules and codes of behavior to bind other people, never themselves.
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These are the same people who want 10 year olds to give birth. Expletives fail me.
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Also, the part of that biblical story that nobody ever seems to tell- Eve ate the apple because she wanted an education. She wanted the right to learn. That little detail always seems to get left out when people describe what a traitorous b-tch Eve was.
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From one of my favorite songs:
‘Mama got a look at you and got a little worried
Papa got a look at you and got a little worried
Pastor got a look and said, ya’ll had better hurry
Send her off to a little bible college in Missouri
And now you come back sayin’ you know a little bit about
Every little thing they ever hoped you’d never figure out
Eve ate the apple 'cause the apple was sweet
What kinda God would ever keep a girl from getting what she needs"
and a later verse…
“Said your soul needed saving, so they sent you off to Bible school
You learned a little more than they had heard was in the Golden Rule
“Be good to everybody, be a strength to the weak
Be a joy to the joyful, be the laughter in the grief”
And give your love freely to whoever that you please
Don’t let nobody tell you 'bout who you oughta be
And when you get damned in the popular opinion
It’s just another damn of the damns you’re not giving”
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Yes, and they also never mention what a whiny little tattle tale Adam was. After all, THE LORD told him not to eat that fruit before Eve even existed, so one must assume it was up to him to pass the news along. Then when Eve listened to someone else, and ate the fruit, Adam didn’t have to do it. But he did, and immediately blamed Eve.
I bet the only reason she stayed with him after that is because there were literally no other options.
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a literal “if you were the last man on Earth” kind of situation. Although Lilith didn’t have that concern, and the whole thing with Nod, east of Eden might suggest he was, in fact, not the only one. Yet another thing in the Bible that makes me go
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Yeah, the more I reread the Bible (esp. Old Testament) the more I’m like, “How did this get such a following again?” Oh yeah, illiteracy…
The whole Job thing is just a travesty.
I’d rather deal with the Greek or Roman pantheon any day!
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…dicks like 95% of the time, but you can placate them with barbecue?
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The whole raping mortal women disguised as livestock is pretty questionable, IMHO.
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I like that part, but also, at least they mostly had their own internal logic. THE LORD is just all over the place.
He asks Moses to do something, Moses doesn’t want to but finally goes along, and THE LORD randomly shows up at some inn along the way to smite him. WTF?
Then Job is this perfect example of a pious man, so THE LORD draws him to the devil’s attention and makes a bet, “I bet you can’t break his faith, no matter what you do to him.” Kind of a dick move, IMHO.
Or, back to the Adam and Eve thing, he has these 2 naked young people running around his garden, and as soon as he shows up and finds they’re clothed and hiding from him, he kicks them out. Pretty creepy.
@anon29537550 - that sentence could be interpreted so many ways and is especially funny after the BBQ comment 
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(That said, I feel like the Greek myths we remember mostly have their own internal logic. Read through a full index like Apollodorus and there is a lot of “wait, they turned into birds why?” going on.)
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True, I only know the ones that have been popularized, probably because they have some semblance of sense.
And, I know we’ve gotten off topic, but this is one of my favorite types of digressions that happen in the bbs threads. 
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It feels like the semi-random joys and tragedies of life are more compatible with a pantheon of often conflicting and capricious gods than it does with a single, omniscient and omnipotent god who just can’t be bothered to care whether good people suffer and die or bad people thrive.
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I mean, it probably doesn’t hurt that a number of those gods are genuinely real things, just extremely personified. Helios? You can see that in the sky, and yeah, you need him to live but he will also kill you if you aren’t careful. Eros? Absolutely that will give you some of your happiest moments or deepest cuts, and the hell if anyone can really say why it ends up one or the other.
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Much about privileged male psychology is revealed in the Bible, since a bunch of privileged men wrote it.
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beware of swans!
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Job’s tale was stolen from the Bedouin; it was one of their epics.
The bible, like all religious books, is stories selected and stolen from ancient predecessors on which the thieves embroidered to varying extent.
FFS, Jesus lived again because Osiris did, and Egyptian Muslims still celebrate the V ancient Feast of Ipet in much the same way their ancestors did millennia ago.
Buddhism is obviously an offshoot from Hinduism, in whose milieu its founder was born and raised.
Allah is a dour, secretive, puritanical, jealous old pagan moon god, whose priesthood demanded sacrifice of life and liberty. He despised the much more ancient sun goddess Shams and her far more numerous and joyful, singing and dancing priesthood and followers.
Linguists acknowledge that the name of the Egyptian moon god Aah, AKA Iah, is the foundation of the later names Jehovah, Jah, and Allah. [Disclaimer: Iah’s priesthood was neither puritanical nor did they use their god as an excuse for the genocide of peoples/tribes/cities. That’s some ugly, nasty shit for which only the embroiderers are responsible. AFAIK, Iah was not a ganja proponent, but the blue lotus so frequently seen in Egyptian scenes both sacred and secular is psychoactive. Irie! Irie!]
The Egyptians are the source for the ubiquitous Madonna and Child image.
Isis with Horus - Metropolitan Museum
Queen Ankhenesmeryre II with young Pepy II
Alabaster, Old Kingdom, Dyn. 6, ca 2288-2194 B.C.E.
Probably from Upper Egypt
Brooklyn Museum #39.119, Charles Edwin Wilbour Fund
“Pepy II became king while still a child, around the age of six. This statuette shows him seated on the lap of his mother, Queen Ankhnes-meryre II. Although Pepy’s back is carefully modeled, his mother’s is flat, suggesting that when the sculpture was originally placed against a wall or column, the queen faced the viewer directly. Thus, she and not the king was the primary subject.” (From Art For Eternity , by Fazzini, Romano and Cody, page 54)
Via Joan Ann Lansberry’s excellent site
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