Conservative operatives charged with voter intimidation after nasty robocall campaign

His dad is a conservative commentator, so he’s definitely not getting back at his liberal parents so much as he’s extending the roots of an already rotting tree. Daddy’s got deep pockets, too, so it’s not like he’s hurting for cash.

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It doesn’t leave much room to think anything other than that he is a genuine, “watch the world burn” nihilist. I guess that stretches my empathy too far to comprehend.

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Since his profiles show his name as “Jacob A Wohl”, it wouldn’t be stretch to imagine an online presence as … JAWOHL [clicks heels]

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Why will no one prosecute these shitbirds and put them away?

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A pardon? (Or at least the hope of one.) He was already up to his eyeballs in financial crimes and facing felony charges. Also, as a MAGAt, he was positioning himself to better commit frauds.

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Are they going with the framejob defense? Only a moron would be stupid enough to use a phone number associated with himself along with announcing their names.

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I think they have too small a fanbase, and aren’t rich enough to entice him with anything. But maybe Trump would have been feeling generous?

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There’s a lot I don’t get about this, but at the top of the list is the trouble they went to.

How many person-hours went into this? Clearly they skimped on the part where they think through the consequences, so that shaved off a little time, but otherwise? You gotta write the script. You gotta find someone else to record it (it was a woman’s voice). You gotta contract with the robocall service. You gotta plan where and when to do it (it wasn’t just Detroit). I’m not saying it’s beyond doing, but it’s days of boring tedious work, even to sort of get it off the ground in a half-assed fashion. And that’s not even getting into finding the money for it.

Now, I get it—if that’s the difference between another glorious four years of Trump or the socialist hellscape of a Biden presidency, maybe it’s worth it to them. But that’s the best case scenario, not the expected value. The median outcome is that the news of the hoax attempt reaches far more voters than the initial hoax did, and with the opposite valence. The worst-case scenario is what happened—all that plus criminal charges.

People are saying this is dumb, and I’d have to agree, but honestly if they really did just up and do this without some 9-dimensional-chess strategy behind it, it feels more like the aftermath of a cocaine binge. I’m serious. A lot of people are saved from their dumbest ideas by virtue of it being too much trouble to fuck themselves over. But these guys just powered through it all. What troopers.

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Trying to get on the speaker’s list for the next RNC?

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But if the inhumane conditions already exist, it’s not wrong to hope these particular doofus bad guys get to experience them firsthand.

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FINALLY get to post this

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You just described the planning, execution, and consequences of every scheme these two chucklef**ks ever committed to. This is their modus operandi.

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When this first surfaced, the general reaction was “Someone has to be framing them. Even Wohl and Burkman couldn’t possibly be stupid enough to attach their own names to a felony.”

From the fact that charges have been brought, I assume that someone looked into the matter and found some compelling evidence to suggest that, yes, they really had been that stupid. I certainly hope so, at least. Because if the AG decided to charge Wohl and Burkman purely on the grounds that the caller claims to be working for them, then this is going to backfire big-time and those two shitbirds are going to walk away with a gigantic propaganda victory.

Assuming that the AG isn’t dumber than a box of rocks, the only thing I can imagine is that the Two Stooges are playing some complicated game of multi-dimensional chess in an attempt to trick the AG into bringing easily-defeated charges against them … but that they tripped over their dicks as usual and let slip some crucial piece of evidence that ties the whole thing back to them. It’ll be something like using daddy’s credit card to pay the VoIP spammer they hired, or having Jacob’s girlfriend (if he has one) record the message, or, I dunno, calling from the same mobile number they used in their last six unsuccessful scams.

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Fuck around with Detroit and find out, as the kids would say.

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…right after scott baio.

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She’s sharp as a tack, stop speculating.

@anon94804983: Boom. I pity the fool that doesn’t understand The Metro.

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His first attempt at doing crimes, he was using his mother’s phone number. :man_shrugging:

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They go in far-right activists, they come out Nazis. What’s the difference? Tattoos.

I would love to be a fly on the wall the first time someone asks them what they are in for.

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