There’s conflicting research that says focusing on the trauma right away is counter-productive; better to let the person get past the acute phase before starting to work on the emotional/mental trauma.
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That‘s interesting, I‘d like to know more about that.
This seems relevant again:
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People give poisoned food to homeless people.
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People are jerks.
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I’m replying not to argue, but because I’m more concerned about the effect rather than going after the bank or cops. Your post caused me to think of some other things to say.
If you’re riff-raff, chances are that this sort of thing doesn’t happen once, it’s likely not the only time. So even if there’s legitimacy on the other side, it can still hit like the other times. I would argue that one good reason to be careful in these cases is because if law enforcement wants the public to help, they can’t expect that if they or others have already treated those people badly. For 38 years I didn’t routinely carry ID, and one time in 1985 a cop maybe had legitimacy, at least he said the still vague “you look like some we’re looking for”. I actually didn’t say I wouldn’t identify myself, when he asked for ID I said I had none. If that had been the only time I’d been stopped, I can’t imagine not complying.
There is a vast chasm between authority and riff-raff. They can decide someone is a “criminal” and thus anything goes. I was 16 or 17 the first time I was stopped, and after going along with the process I said I didn’t like it. He swore at me. It’s one thing to make a mistake, another to assume they simply didn’t catch me so it’s okay to treat me badly. As I racked up more instances, it was clear that for some unknown reason multiple cops thought I was a criminal to pursue, even though most times it was daylight on crowded streets and I wasn’t carrying anything that might be stolen or tools for robbery. They wanted ID, clearly to see if there were warrants, in which case they’d have reasons to ourspursueue further. When a few years later I checked the law, and I wasn’t obligated to identify myself, most times they ignored my statement. When I stopped carrying ID, they’d often illegally search me, ostensibly to find ID, but likely because they had hoped to find something in the first place.
They see criminal, riff-raff thinks something else, and we don’t get to correct things because they don’t give reason, or apologize.
But also, if the bank or cops are dealing with blue blooded queens and princesses I think they are likely to accommodate them. Instead of jumping to “criminal” they will assume
an error,give the person a chance to explain.
I’ve seen black people write about their experiences with cops and they have described what I feel. But I’ve also seen white well off people write about, and there too is a chasm. Riff-raff comes to see it as somerhing that happens, and it gnaws at them, but they may not really know what’s happening. Or if they do, it’s from talking to others in similar situations.
But “well off” often have it happen once, they react immediately, and talk about being humiliated. It reflects their place in the world, of being entitled. It certainly doesn’t make them feel empathy for others who land in the same situation.
Nothing defines the difference better than claiming riff-raff deserves it, or caused it.
We aren’t talking about getting a traffic ticket and feeling you don’t deserve it, it’s about something before that and being treated a certain way.
I guess that’s all. Except I’ve come to see that people often have an almost vicious expectation that everyone should be like them. This is about how people act, not their skin color. It’s reinforced when they talk to others like themselves, making it easier to exclude “the others”. And it leaves little space to try to see differences. So if you’re a square peg in a round hole, they’ll try to hammer you in place until you fit. They won’t try to understand your explanation of being different, or even hear it, they’ll dismiss you because you don’t fit in.
So if you’re different, authority/cops will clock you, and maybe in a subtle way make the leap to assuming you are a criminal. They may not “see” their discrimination, they may not spew hatred, but for riff-raff it affects them greatly.
And ultimately we can all be this way, except when something comes along to make us change, at which point we can look back in embarrasment. “How could I have done or said that?”
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There is an update from the police chief. I don’t know how much discretion Canadian officers have on handcuffing people in custody. The trend in the US is to cuff suspects, and then get the stories. So we are left with a false accusation by the bank, no apparent ramifications for them having done so, and no attempt at making amends. One hopes there would be any number of banks that would delighted to have a $30k deposit…
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I can imagine it hurts. Many of us have been riff-raff. Other people do have empathy. It pisses me off that it happened and I’m no cheerleader for banks. The impression left on the girl will form her character.
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