Coronavirus bill clears Congress, $2 trillion CARES Act (H.R. 748) heads to Trump for signature

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/03/27/coronavirus-relief-package-pas.html

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Correction required @xeni ‘more than 99, not less than 99.’ It’s been updated, thanks!

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Why the hell do people insist on calling bills by acronyms? “CARES” act?

Just Help For Coronavirus.

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Every law passed by Congress needs a distinct name, and acronyms are catchy. If they just said “Help for Coronavirus” it could refer to any number of currently-proposed actions.

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CSB
Was at a meeting in tech-land with PMs trying to decide the name of the new software package we were delivering. Back-and-forth for 1/2 hour while I rub my temples. Finally, someone asks the programmer, “What do you think?”.
Me: How about the “Integrated Development Gate Affecting Firmware”? The only other engineering in the room started snickering, while the PMs said it was too complicated.
Me: You can use the acronym?
/CSB

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JHFC

Jesus H Fucking Christ?

Still, the relief is welcome. My mom’s retired, and her husband has been reduced to half time.

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The name is always exactly the opposite of what the bill does for and to the people. I find it pretty useful.

That said, I’d have been happy to have a recorded vote. The dude makes some sense.

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Let the system-gaming commence!

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This is how system is designed to work, silly.

I wonder if they will take the combined income for married people, or if it will truly be by the individual?

Not that it especially matters, being a one time payment never to be repeated. It will barely cover our house payment for a month and a half. I guess all the other bills that we fall behind on will be paid for with hopes and prayers.

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I found this showing different values for individuals and couples:

Source:

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Somebody sharpen up tRump’s favorite crayon. STAT!

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Oh, not so fast:

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People are replying that Obama used a pen, too.

Shocker. Again, gotta grease the daffy despot’s tiny palm to get anything from him. That’s the art of the deal, y’all.

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The pen was given to him by Bush-Cheney. If Obama is to be blamed for anything, it’s for not breaking it in half and throwing it away.