"Cruelty free" Italian snail-farming booms thanks to caviar and slime-cosmetics


Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/02/08/cruelty-free-italian-snail.html


A spa for snails? Maybe it includes some essence of garlic and some vital dairy oils?



Parsley. A… um… parsley facial for the snails. That’s pretty important in a snail spa, I think.



I think I finally understand this song:

Someone saw a strange amount
Of moisture on her lips
And it was also seen upon
Her arms and on her hips

No one knows exactly
Who she was or how she died
But when they opened up her purse
They found a snail inside

“Moisture” , The Residents.


Actually, it’s about ethics in the slow-food movement.



Don’t forget the baguette treatments, or the exit interview where you are treated to creme-brule-therapy.


Isn’t this how horror movies start?

Start with dumping toxic waste in the back yard (a la Gomorrah), get mutated snails, harvest toxic slime, apply to face of rich whi err Korean women. Get some kind of blob or zombie apocalypse.



snail male or female


I wonder if dining upon the snails is considered cruel?


I thought that was where you are gently caressed with soft, three-ply tissues.


slime sales are up 46% over the past ten months

Since January 20th, slime is KING!


salt and vinegar

applied to living beings. For profit. Off useless cosmetics.



snail-slime-based cosmetics

Can’t make up something like this.

… wait … you can:


You CAN make something like that up, but you don’t have to. You can just buy it on Amazon:


The snail ones were pretty much like the snake one, the silver one, the gold one, the CoQ10 one… etc. The only one that was different was the cucumber, but that was down to the scent alone, as far as I could tell.

Do they work? I don’t know if they make any difference in my skin texture, but they contain enough entertainment value to be worth the money. To be clear, that entertainment value has mostly to do with feeling fancy while semi-reclining in a robe and terrycloth turban.


Damn breeders always telling other people how to live…


Ewwwww! What’s worse? A sheet of snail slime on your face or just letting them roam around on their own.