Dead Raisers, a traveling band of evangelical resurrectors

At least they aren’t Scientologists :-0

Alligators, bears, vultures, sure… but I wonder how these guys would do against a zombie horde.

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If the performance of miracles can be “taught”, are they truly miracles any more?

They would seem to be more akin to a science, or at the very least, an art.

They should either unionize, or form a guild.

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One should seriously doubt that, if one is being reasonable and honest. In fact, the only reason one should NOT doubt that is if one has a particular brand of blind, un-Christian faith. Because the Bible instructs those who believe in it to not have such a faith (1 Thessalonians 5:21 for example), the true Christian should also seriously doubt that.

Seems like these guys are using the old Matthew 10:7-8 thing (or possibly Romans 8:11). Ignoring Job 14:5 (amongst others) in the process. It is not a Dead Raiser who determines who lives and who dies, it is God, and to believe that these goofballs are necessary or important to that process at all is pride and vanity on their part.

But anyway, more interesting to me as another exhibition of the desperation of the faithful to prove themselves exceptional and special in our society that encourages exceptional, special people.

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I was thinking something along those line. Jesus himself only managed to re-animate one corpse (according to legend). Is this guy claiming he’s more powerful than Jesus?

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As long as they don’t claim to be more powerful than John Lennon I’m not offended.

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Perhaps they just don’t have enough faith to follow Mark 16:17-18 and believe that they are immune to all poisons? “Raising” the dead is perfect for zealots who aren’t quite zealous enough for snake handling.

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There were only MOSTLY dead. There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do - Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

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Anyone who didn’t RTFA needs to do so:

His life was changed when, at 17, he attended a youth mission to Canada and witnessed a prostitute turning into Jesus. “We were in a red light district at 2AM. They told us to give out roses as a symbol of God’s love. I gave the rose to a prostitute and she turned into Jesus in front of me.”
You saw actual physical Jesus? “Yeah. With my eyes.” What did he look like? “He was more Arab looking that the common image.” Did he have a beard? “He didn’t,” he says. “But I wouldn’t be surprised if he grows it out once in a while.”

It also describes the work of “English plumber Smith Wigglesworth.” Finally, I’m surprised how no one has yet mentioned how much the guy on the right looks like a cleaned-up Morrissey.

You mean their audience?

“Don’t bury me… I’m not dead!”

Fine. As long as they don’t turn anyone into a newt.

So they are basically undoing God’s will.

I can imagine some of these ex-corpses waking up and being angry: “You assh*les, I was in paradise!!

Anyway, I’m curious how they get around the little problem of formaldehyde.

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Maybe they come back without souls?

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I think we need to crowd-fund a van-load of zombie-killers, vampire-hunters and the more aggressive form of exorcists to follow these guys around. Ya know, just in case.

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So that would make these guys something more like an itinerant band of Vodun priests raising zombies…

…funny how these evangelical dudes think they are modeling Christianity in their attempts to thwart God’s will.

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I believe there were three reanimated corpses mentioned in the New Testament: Lazarus, Jarius’ daughter and J.C. Himself.

Luckily none seemed to have a hunger for human flesh. As a matter of fact, in an unusual twist on the theme Jesus wanted other people to eat his flesh.

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I think Kirk Cameron’s career could use a visit from these guys.

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Don’t forget the “saints” in Matthew 27:

And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.

We are taking massive zombie uprising, with Jesus at the head. Is it any surprise given that Jesus led his diciples, and subsequent followers, into ritual canibalism?

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Maybe they could help him save Christmas, which, amazingly, Cameron wants to save from people who are for non-materialist celebrations of the birth of Jesus.

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