Dead Raisers, a traveling band of evangelical resurrectors


#1

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#2

13 out of how many though?


Huffing Boing Boing
#3

Edit:

Found some!


#4

Witchcraft!

Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: …because they’re made of… wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!.. It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: …Exactly. So, logically…
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck… she’s made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore…
Peasant 2: …A witch!


#5

Surely only evil, Jesus-hating Satan worshipers would resurrect the dead, pulling them back from heaven into this world. :-o


#6

Hang on a minute - how come they have such easy access to dead people? It’s not like they’re based in Midsummer or something. Someone get on the phone to Columbo…


#7

#8

That would be a great name for a Christian Death Metal band. Which is something that I wouldn’t have a problem with this.

Selling flim flammery for faith is detestable.


#9

I first read that as grift


#10

Faith healers are literally the lowest of the low, and most of the reason I left the fold and became an agnostic.


#11

For some values of “dead.”

Found y’all’s theme song:


#12

Don’t know anything about this movie or group of people, but sometimes God does bring people back from the dead. Did you seriously doubt that?


#13

Yes. As an agnostic I do seriously doubt the existence of “God”.

Some people who have been pronounced dead do revive - with or without people yelling bible verses at them. I blame the human body for this - as some people are able to survive what kills others. I also blame the people who have done the pronouncing dead part for perhaps being unskilled, distracted and/or not thorough enough.


#14

Need more info to express proper doubt. Which God are you talking about here?


#15

Collect all five! I am starting with the blonde model!


#16

Snake oil selling shit!


#17

“Dying” is an ambiguous process, not a singular state. Not breathing and heart stopped are both recoverable conditions, which is what CPR does. In addition to CPR, it can also happen spontaneously. And the “visions” people claim to have during their “death” are much easier to explain as what an oxygen starved brain is experiencing than an external, supernatural intervention.

Furthermore, many other religions all claim the exact same events (raising the dead) as miracle perform by their own specific deity. While it could be the work of these people’s highly specific version of a single God, the evidence of that is highly doubtful and very ambiguous.

A God that resurrects only dead that can be saved via standard clinical methods, and who also resurrects those who can attribute it to an entirely different god is a god that is also indistinguishable from one that doesn’t exist.


#18

I very sincerely doubt it, unless you’re counting Lazarus. Wait… did I just feed the trolls?


#19

Yes they do not just take your money, they also take your life.


#20

Sociopaths in matching shirts! Charming! I’m so glad someone is giving these people the attention they want.