Dead squid can have sex with your mouth, and it hurts

Dude! Trigger warning, please!


No. Nope. Nopitty nope nope nope. Nosirree, sir. NOPE.


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I refuse to google it but. . . I assume their is already an internet subculture that is totally in to this.

I think apparatopodes is the word you are looking for. Particularly in the case of cephalo/orchi-pods.


Everyone knows what he means, and “apparati” is more pleasing to the ear, so it’s correct.

Ha! I have heard this story before, but your image choice is so wonderful!

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Ha, welcome! No, it isn’t correct, it’s comprehensible.

I can use my spoon as a knife but if I asked someone to pass me my knife they won’t likely reach for my spoon, not even if I had just told them that I cut my meat with my spoon.

Comprehensible is good enough for conversation but as per the mention of a patent attorney, or a scientist, or anyone finding that correct means accurate, distinctions definitely matter.

Enjoy your stay, I don’t recommend the calamari today, when I passed by the fresh seafood tank earlier I noticed an empty Axe body spray can on the floor nest to it…


You say that you’ve got tentacles but I see only eight,
You lay around and smoke my pot and wanna fuck my face,
I wish that you would blow, I’ve got no taste for suckers
as seamen come and go, you’re all a bunch of sailors


just in case you want to see the case report…

(and no, I didn’t look in detail for a “full access” version, you now know the info, and can find it yourself if so inclined)

Arguably, if you’ve been killed and are in the process of being eaten you have a pretty strong case for the position that you exist in a state of war with the opposing party and they are the aggressor.

That said, in the case of humans, we generally don’t treat sexual violence as an acceptable weapon; but that’s at least in part because it’s mostly useful against civilians and POWs, who you aren’t supposed to be further brutalizing. In the case of this hapless squid, it appears to be more of a last-ditch melee combat technique.

Licit or illicit under the terms of the R’lyeh Convention on Certain Disturbing and Unconventional Weapons?


No, it is wrong, because (a) it is easily confused with words like “apparition”, and (b) no dictionary recognises it. On your logic it would be correct to write that the plural of “us” is “I”.
Bus - bi
fuss - fusi
truss - trusi
doesn’t work in English, does it?


I think you mean calamaruses.



Well, except there are few cases where sexual violence hasn’t been used as a weapon in war. Sure, officially, it’s not acceptable, but if you look at what’s actually happened, historically (and I’d say it’s probably a vastly understudied aspect of war), rape is a central war weapon for many conflicts. Human beings have a huge problem with exposing the utopian and enacting the dystopian.

But we don’t hold a candle do dead squids! :wink:

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Oh, I don’t mean to say that we treat it as an off-limits weapon; because we very, very, much don’t; but it is one that has suffered some PR setbacks and gotten to the point where it is considered polite to offer negligibly plausible disavowals and at least pretend that any instances you can’t deny are down to a few conveniently-unimportant peons acting outside the scope of their orders.

This is hardly as good as actually not using it; but there is a distinction between the weapons that you get to brag about, weapons you insist are fully legal but prefer not to linger on; and weapons that you are supposed to be dishonest about.

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I don’t often say this, but I’d like to read that Yelp review.

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That scene was hardcore.



A thousand times NO!!!

Calamari still really, really likes you though.

It’s far too late to teach the Cousins correct pluralisation. That ship has long sailed, sadly.

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