"Debate Me": parody of internet manliness gurus/dorks

boing
41

In all honesty, I do enjoy a good healthy debate. When both viewpoints start from the acknowledgement that something can be learned from the process; when cooler heads prevail; when we do not elevate formal logic at the expense of everything else–when those criteria are at least attempted, then western style debates can be productive.

Unfortunately, on the internet, yer lucky to get even a single one of those positive qualities.

So, as Emporer Josef the Second, in the documentary Amadeus famously quipped, “Well, there it is.”

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42

@Ignatius , I take it slightly back. A more apt phrase would be from the Werner Herzog trilogy masterpiece, "The Stars, They Are At War ":

  It’s a trap!

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43

The other day, a friend was asking whether I thought his salmon was still good or if he was going to get food poisoning, and I dropped into total grumpy opinion mode. I apparently have capital-O Opinions on how food poisoning ain’t no thing.

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44

Because of my upbringing, I can’t enjoy debate. I enjoy learning and I enjoy repartee but debate is a sometimes-necessary ordeal for me. I understand why other people enjoy it. I just can’t enjoy it myself. :cold_sweat:

Note: Wrong eve there, @japhroaig . :laughing:

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45

Fixed! I was too caught up in my super meta fish joke (ackbar is a fish or I’ll eat my hat).

I completely respect your opinion. The only debate you will have with me is what’s for dinner :grinning:

Edit: I don’t own a hat. If one were to eat such an item, do you think:

  • Trilby
  • Western felt wide brim
  • A fascinator
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46

Really? I’ve had this backwards then. I thought getting to be a crank was the reward for suffering through life.

(though I loved a joke I just saw in a Jewish deli: “a long life is god’s punishment for complaining” or something to that effect)

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47

It makes sense to me that a fan of fish puns would appreciate debate, but you should still watch out for dehook.

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49

You are a solid chum.

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50

I want to live in a universe where Herzog made Star Wars.

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51

You seem to be a ruminator, so I’d suggest a Panama or other straw hat. :wink:

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52

Surely?

If you have to eat your hat, make it a pork pie.

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53

I’ve always fancied men in bowlers. I think the right one could really work for your style too. Don’t try eating it, though. Saliva and felt are not fast friends. :blush:

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54

I’m guessing the whole story ended when the entire main cast got eaten by a sandworm.

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55

Ah, that makes more sense. I imagined turning one’s back to the enemy, hoisting up the robe and – you know what, never mind.

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For context, the article was written by Bob Mackey (alt-left games journalist) after making fun of Colin Moriarty (conservative libertarian game’s media) on Twitter. Colin responded to the initial tweet by saying that they should live-stream a formal political debate and the loser would donate $2,000 to charity. Bob indirectly responded by saying that a painful shit would be more worthy of his time than talking to Colin, and instead went on to write this piece mocking Colin.

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58

Unless the material is eventually shrunk to the point of collapsing in on itself - it’s at least possible that a small sized black hole contained within the large intestine (somewhere near the anus) could keep compacting ‘gong’ without becoming an issue during the average life of a wizard - and also provide a nasty booby-trap for anyone looking their corpse!

(“Bigby’s gripping arsehole”, anyone?)

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59

… without becoming a problem due to size! Imagine trying to carry around a thousand pounds of former feces point mass.

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60

That’s when the wizard becomes useful as a cross-class projectile weapon.

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