Dick Cheney complained that Donald Rumsfeld drank too much coffee

I hear the Devil’s tummy growling for BBQ Cheney!


"Yogge Sothothe Neblod Zin," the priest began chanting. "By Ashtoreth, by Pangenitor, by the Yellow Sign, by the gifts I have made and the powers I have purchased, by He Who Is Not to Be Named, by Rabban and by Azathoth, by Samma-El, by Amon and Ra, vente, vente, Lucifer, lux fiat!"

Joe never saw it: he felt it—and it was like chemical Mace, blinding and numbing him at once.

“Come not in that form!” the priest screamed. “By Jesu Elohim and the Powers that You fear, I command thee: come not in that form! Yod He Vah He—come not in that form.”

One of the women began weeping in fear.
“Quiet, you fool,” Simon shouted at her. “Don’t give it more Power.”

“Your tongue is bound, until I release it,” the priest said to her—but the distraction of his attention had its cost; Joe felt It growing in potency again, and so did the others, judging from their sudden involuntary gasps.

“Come not in that form!” the priest shouted. “By the Cross of Gold, and by the Rose of Ruby, and by Mary’s Son, I command and demand it of thee: come not in that form! By thy Master, Chronzon! By Pangenitor and Panphage, come not in that form!”

There was a hiss, like air pouring into a vacuum, and the atmosphere began to clear – but it also dropped abruptly in temperature.


The Voice was the most shocking experience of the night for Joe. It was oily, flattering, obscenely humble, but there was still within it a secret strength that revealed all too well that the priest’s power over it, however obtained, was temporary, that both of them knew it, and that the price of that power was something it longed to collect

“Come not in that form either,” said the priest, more stern and more confident. “Ye know full well that such tones and manners are also intended to frighten, and I like not such jokes. Come in this form which thou habitually wearest in thy current earthly activities, or I shall banish thee back to that realm of which you like not to imagine. I command. I command. I command.” There was nothing campy about the Padre now.

It was just a room again—an odd, medieval, mideastern room, but just a room. The figure that stood among them could not have looked less like a demon.

“OK,” it said in a pleasant American voice, “we don’t have to get touchy and hostile with each other over a little theatrics, do we? Just tell me what sort of business transaction you went and dragged me here for, and I’m sure we can work out all the details in a down-home, businesslike, cards-on-the-table fashion, with no hard feelings and mutual satisfaction all around.”

It looked like Dick Cheney.


To be fair, I think Cheney was complaining that Rumsfeld was too liberal and promiscuous in sharing his coffee.


One month later Cheney would replace Rumsfeld as Chief of Staff, when Rummy is appointed Secretary of Defense. I can only imagine his first action would be to switch everyone to Folgers Crystals.


It is a cruel bit of fate that I feel compelled to renew my prior oath.


Meh. After seeing Cheney’s mug in this thread, Pennywise holds no terrors.


I’ll take your list, since it’s all people I’d throw my shoe at, and add Stanislaw Burzynski, since he’s managed to bully the Texas state medical board into allowing him to murder children with cancer via hypernatremia poisoning.


Like this?

Or like this?


No, Cheney will not die! He is evil and evil does not die; rather, it must be destroyed!


First the one, then the other. Most of us are walking around with two shoes after all.


hmm, outside of this handy coffee chart


Dear Mr. Rumsfeld,
I am sorry but the following expenses have been disallowed by internal budget control:

50 pots of coffee $100
One illegal war in Iraq $2 000 000 000 000.

These expenses must be met by you personally. Please respond within the next week with a personal check for $2 000 000 000 100.00

Yours Sincerely

Officer, fiscal responsibility.


Madison too had a tendency to confuse meum and tuum when it came to countries. But Canuckistan handed him his backside on a plate (and ate his victory banquet for him.)

Surprised that Cheney didn’t just invite him to go hunting.


We were in a declared war with England. Canada was a perfectly legitimate place to invade give that.

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See what happened when this actually occurred.

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These are war criminals who can’t even travel to Europe unless they get a special permit that exempts them from being arrested and tried before the International Tribunal of War Crimes in The Hague.

The US does not accept the ICC and I think it was even announced to free US citizens by force (The Hague Invasion Act).

The US is in very respectable company, it must be a proud moment for the society.

[edit: linkfix, BBS does not like the apostroph in the WP articel]

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You were also on the side of the Napoleonic French, officially, but the French people living in Canada disagreed. So, sensibly, did the Canadian First Nations, who had seen what was happening further south. The excuse of being at war with Britain doesn’t wash; it was as opportunistic an invasion as that of the Czechs or Poland in the 1930s, but with a very different outcome. Madison might have had some of the same ideas as Hitler, but fortunately he didn’t have the Prussian Army.