Did you ever want to play questions?

Because reasons?

Aren’t we always? Didn’t we miss you? Don’t you need a big ole hug?

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#NO JOB NO HUG

right?

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What?!? But why wouldn’t he get hugs anyways?

Would that explain everything?

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How did I accumulate so much stuuuuuuufffff?

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Amazing isn’t it? Even when stuck in an apartment?

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Can you find matches?

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And didn’t I get rid of a boatload of crap before we moved into this place four years ago?
On the plus side, hasn’t my limited budget been responsible for keeping the accumulation of more possessions from growing exponentially? And didn’t we get rid of unused kitchen stuff when we had a small-scale bug infestation last year? So really, am I just complaining about the fact that I own things and they need to be packed into boxes?

Haha, why must you tempt me so?

Can’t you see that I’ve been where you are and realized that you probably don’t need all that stuff?

You’ve been in my apartment?

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You don’t know I’m in your crawlspace?

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You mean that chewing noise isn’t rats after all, it’s YOU? What are you eating up there?

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You’ve seen Shallow Grave? Any weird holes in your ceiling?

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Wouldn’t any kind of hole in my ceiling be described as “weird”?

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You don’t know that’s me chewing on rats?

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Why do they sound so crunchy?

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Oh, that’s not me, you heard that too?

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