Hot
Oh, the tempā¦ Indeed slightly cold, I reckon?
Did you know that Merlot is the one kind of wine I will actually decline and drink nothing rather than be stuck drinking it?
Even more than white zin?
What is this, Sideways?
Isnāt that amazing? Does this mean Iām not hip?
Donāt I remember when Merlot was a filler grape, for use in cheaper wines? And as such canāt I still taste the heaviness and grittiness (seems the right word, even though I donāt mean it literally) no matter what percentage it constitutes in even a fine wine?
And didnāt my mother give me a case of cheap Merlot for my birthday? (Even my kids looked at her funny when they saw that!)
Do you think we are brother and sister from another mother?
Arenāt Merlot grapes a hardier variety that grow in the hotter parts of California? Would that explain part of the crappy flavor? Did you know I am from the crappy part of California and I might know what Iām talking about?
?
If you know, you know, if you donāt, avoid it like the plague, do not look, do notā¦
ā¦ok?
If we are, wouldnāt our mother give you a case of Merlot too?
(In all seriousness, I have a number of as-yet-unfound half siblings, so you never know!)
Looks around nervously
What if I only have merlot under protest? Or at least with some good cheese?
It is a weird worldāisnt it a weird feeling when you discover that nagging thought? my grandparents passed away seven years ago, and until that time none of us knew that my grandfather had been married before, and the biggest shockerāmy grandmother had been married twice!? And once to an aircraft pilot!? (She hated flying, perhaps I now know why)
Do I have unknown relatives, hunting me like Highlander?
Did you know that my mother loves Merlot? You think Iām kidding?
Isnāt it more than a nagging thought for me, though?
(Iāve found 4 so far, and have a lot of proof about a 5th one, with likely at least 2 or 3 more.)
Isnāt genealogy a blast? Donāt we always tell each other: donāt search if you arenāt ready to accept what you find? Arenāt there some doozy stories out there? Even little things, like have you ever figured out the number of months between a wedding and the first-born child in your grandparentsā generation or further back? Doesnāt that prove they werenāt such Puritans back then, either?
Oh, it certainly is, and didnāt I have a laugh when I found out my wife and I are both directly related to this guy?
(Prince John, Robin Hood fame :D)
Edit
Oh, and I am related to such a lineage of narcissistic mediocre monachs that we inadventally created the constitutional monarchy?
And havenāt I seen his signature on a copy of the magna carta at Salisbury cathedral? (As I yelled, āThatās my pappy!!ā)
Is there a better way to spend an evening than under a blanket with the kids and the 'ol Charlie Brown special?
You really think thereās only one crappy part of California?
Wow, doesnāt the coastline look pointy?
Donāt my family have an awful lot of doubts about my grandfather, to the extent that they donāt even believe the name he gave them?
Perhaps disappearing with the taxman in hot pursuit and leaving my grandma in the lurch with five kids wasnāt the best plan?
But since Iām Cornish, arenāt I likely related to lots of people in a variety of illegal ways anway?
Are all Cornish people as corny as you? Should I duck now?