Disgusting or delicious? The Mac and Cheese Martini reviewed

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Martini really doesn’t mean anything anymore does it?

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It means, “You should totally spend $25+ on whatever this is. It will make you seem cool and adventurous.”

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even though i love me some mac & cheese, i hope the rat pack rises from their graves and beats the marketer that came up with this.

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Thank you. This trend of putting all manner of crap in a martini glass and calling it a martini drives me insane. I <3 martinis.

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But how can you call it a “martini” if it doesn’t include peppermint schnapps, banana liqueur, chocolate sauce and bacon?

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If nothing else the abuse of the name “martini” suggests a lack of imagination on the part of the mixologist. I remember when there was a spate of sweet drinks with suggestive names–Sex on the Beach, Slippery Nipple, Blowjob in Poughkeepsie, etc. Even though they seemed designed to appeal to casual drinkers who weren’t getting any at least there was some thought put into them. Heck, I remember when a bar near a college campus started serving a drink called a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. The bartender explained, “It’s green and it’ll kick your ass.” That was brilliant compared to calling everything a martini.

At the very least I think there should be a regulation that a martini has to be a beverage. The Mac & Cheese Martini sets us on the slippery nipple slope to the Mashed Potato Martini, the Tuna Casserole Martini, and the Lima Bean Martini.

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penne alla vodka martini

As long as it’s on a plate and there’s a martini in your martini glass, I’m okay with this.

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Ha ha. There was a bar in New Orleans (closed after Kaitrina but it may have reopened now - their website says it will reopen in 2012 but the site seems under construction so who knows) that used to have the FOULEST names for its drinks - they were all made out of liquors mixed together, no mixers, and they all tasted great. Kermit’s Middle Leg (green in color) and their signature drink the 1-800-FUCKMEUP are the ones I rememberEevery single drink had a cringe inducing name. It was such a dive, and they had these classy things like “No Underwear Night” where if you could prove you weren’t wearing undies, you got free drinks all night and of course, you could purchase 8 shots of the 1-800-FUCKMEUP in a special toilet bowl take home commemorative glass.

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Perversely, the part of this that sounds nauseating to me is the vodka. Now if this were a gin martini I’d be good to go…

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That image induces indigestion for me, but maybe somebody else would find it appealing. Ugh. In a world with so many good things, why create this?

Well it left ME shaken.

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I’m all for trying to be creative but at some point someone in the kitchen should have said “We’re putting mac and cheese in a martini glass. Let’s try to have some dignity!”

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You beast! By invoking its name, you caused ripples in the time-stream, creating it in the past! The Mashed Potato Martini is a real thing.

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Food with dignity?

“Paging Guy Fieri, white courtesy telephone please!”

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Sometimes when I see an idiotic redundancy I refer to it as “stupid as serving potato chips with mashed potatoes”. I should have known that, like the Mashed Potato Martini, as soon as I said it someone would do it.

Michael Smith made that?! Noooooo!

It does look hard to stir, though…

I’m pretty high. I’d probably give you quite a lot of money for melted cheese and pasta with booze.

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Putting Mac&Cheese in a martini glass seems silly, but whatever. As long as the actual martini or at least some gin is served on the side and not poured on top, that’s fine.

OTOH, bacon doesn’t belong in mac&cheese (a position I took even before I was vegetarian), and it’s even more the wrong kind of flavor to have with a martini, because it’s going to stomp on whatever botanical subtlety your tastebuds can still distinguish after you’ve eaten the mac&cheese. Olives are probably ok, though.