Originally published at: Do you want a Velveeta Martini? | Boing Boing
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Do I want a Velveeta Martini?
God, no. Keep that thing far, far away from me.
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I bet someone could do something interesting by making an extra-sharp cheddar infused vodka, but not Velveeta.
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I… I have NOT seen this. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I will now go gouge my eyes out.
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The Betteridge’s Law of Headlines is strong with this one!
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I might have just thrown up in my mouth a little. 
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I’m game. I love fake cheese and I quite like martini. Also, olives.
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Replacing olives with a few cubes of (fake) cheese on a skewer should’ve been as far as this went.
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I can’t believe I have to do this
I do not think that you in fact have to do this! It would be possible to let all weird faux cheese marketing campaigns pass without comment or coverage. Just a thought.
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That looks like it should have been featured in a really bad 1950’s or 1960’s cookbook, right next to a Jell-O and spam dessert (with a mayo-based glaze, because why not?)
If I didn’t have a strong stomach or weren’t laughing at some of the absurd dishes I found with my search for “bad 1960s cookbook recipes” it might have been unfortunate that I’d searched for that so soon after lunch.
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There needs to be a new ring in hell for anyone who commits such sacrilege.
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Enter the “Veltini,” aka the Velveeta Martini, which you’ve surely seen all over your social media feeds by now.
This makes me very happy that I consume almost no “social media feeds.”
Of course, BB has still subjected me to the horror, so 
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I will spray canned cheese straight into my mouth, like how refined gentlemen do. This martini business is a tacky sham for cheese posers.
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Veltini? Really?
VELVEETINI
Come on people, it’s right there!
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i’m with the wag who said, “this just screams ‘i’m giving up, but i’m gonna make it look classy.’”
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I do not, in fact want this.
However, it’s been a long week, so later today a martini sounds good. Made with St. George Terroir gin.
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No, I do not.
