Do Not Take Selfies With Lake Moose

Better advice, keep a wide radius from any moose. It’s bigger than a Clydesdale and very aggressive if provoked. And getting all up in its personal space is very dangerous.

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A random anecdote relating to animal aggression:

When I was in high school, I knew a guy who was a self-taught electronics/computing/musical genius. In his tiny bedroom, as well as the computer and synth, he also had a pair of huge home-built woofer speakers, plus a dozen mega-tweeters scattered about. The tweeters looked like foot-long acorns.

But the interesting bit is how he got the tweeters for almost no money…

Australian farmers have a tendency to get cranky about kangaroos eating “their” grass. But it isn’t easy to keep kangaroos out of a sheep paddock; they’ll just hop straight over normal fencing, and super-tall fencing is prohibitively expensive.

So some dude invented a kangaroo-repellent system that was basically a motion sensor and a very loud ultrasonic screamer (AKA the foot-long acorn tweeters). He tested it out, and it seemed to work; kangaroos fled from it. So, he started production, began to ship to the farmers…and then immediately went out of business.

What happened, is that once they deployed the system in the bush, it would successfully scare off the female and young male kangaroos. Who would then go and report the situation to the nearest alpha male, who would then hop on over and kick the shit out of the speakers. :slight_smile:

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Crazy deer-headed man-thing on steroids. I’d need several inches of plexiglass between that thing and me. Glad you live antipodal to my continent. It’s just too weird. Upright walking deer-man-thing.

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Do not fuck with a big red. :slight_smile:

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Throwin out the signs like a badass.

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The thing is you’re at a party with your fellow woodland creatures and suddenly the damn Lake Moose is there, being all “oh hai, lets take selfies” so you let Lake Moose take some selfies and next thing its on Lake Moose’s social profile and everyone thinks you’re like buddies with Lake Moose now and then Mossy Squirrel tweets how if you hang out with pervert racists like Lake Moose you must be a pervert racist too, and I’m all like chill out, fellow woodland creature, I just let Lake Moose take the damn selfie so he wouldn’t gore me with his antlers but it’s too late for reason now - the woodland is an unforgiving, primitive place full of natural enemies and no natural friends.

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Man-thing? Oh no. It’s much worse than that.

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