Doctors discover patient sweating blood from palms and forehead


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Something something palms are sweaty, mums spaghetti…



On the minus side, the doctors don’t know what is causing your symptoms. On the plus side; they’ve translated them into Latin and/or Greek and turned them into a respectable disorder…


Some one offer her a job. She is 33% more efficient at giving blood sweat and tears.


Bit later but Ministry KMFDM and Controlled Bleeding at the new ritz in New York on the ‘mind is a terrible thing to taste’ tour with the 15 foot fence at the edge of the stage - still not sure if it was to protect the band from the fans or the fans from the band. Great show.



“Il messaggero non e importante…”



It’s too bad she’s obviously a bit ethical. Think of what one of those big evangelical “prosperity gospel” preachers would pay for stigmata miracle on command…

There’s money to be made off of your weird medical condition!


One of my children got ITP when he was six. IPT is Idiopathic Thrombocytopenic Purpura, which pretty much translates as ‘weird purple spots’. He started bruising and then bleeding when you touched him. It doesn’t sound quite like this because it would have killed him pretty quickly if they hadn’t fixed it with a large steroid injection.

That was 24 years ago. He’s fine now, but if you see odd bruises and liver spots one morning on one of yours, this needs fixing muy pronto.


My pants suffered spontaneous combustion, but everyone called me a liar!

@Bobo, I’m thinking there is a decent film in, “When a violent televangelist gets in to life threatening financial problems, he hires some small time Special Effects Maker-up Artists to fake some miracle cures and boost revenue. The artists realise that they “know too much” and must escape from their employers clutches”. I guess a sort of a mash-up of “SFX” and “Pray TV”.


Is it me, or do a lot of these “unexplained medical phenomena but no really it’s something to do with Jesus” stories come from “Italian doctors” or what?

I mean, I just knew it was going to be “Italian doctors” before I even started the article.


I had Henoch–Schönlein purpura when I was in the second grade, some 30-odd years ago. Spent about a month in the hospital, and when I was released, I wasn’t allowed back to school for a few months afterward. Kinda sucked, because I had my birthday at the hospital, as well as Halloween, and as I get older I wonder if all the joint pain I have now is a result of stuff that happened when I was a kid.

But yeah, those bruises are a big deal. I basically had them all over, anywhere I was touched or contacted the hospital bed. I remember countless IV bags and beeping droids and really, really shitty hospital food.


Stigmata is relatively common, as miracles go. There have been hundreds of well-documented cases. The most famous, and possibly the first, was St. Francis of Assisi.


Takes the Oxford comma right out of Blood, Sweat, and Tears.


I hate to think of where St. Francis of Assassi had his stigmata…

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