That makes perfect sense to me and actually explains a lot. (I come from a long line of non-petowners.)
Tangent: did anyone notice that the guy doing the voiceover on the 1970ies bit about the original experiment sounds exactly like Michael Palin?
After that struck me I was kinda waiting for someone to enter the room doing a silly walk. Watched the vid a second time in order to listen properly.
I am sorry that you just lost your cat. I recently had to put my cat to sleep. It is still really really difficult. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, seeing our other cat in the shadows (his brother from the same litter), and having this moment of hope that it had just been a bad dream.
He would always meow at me as soon as he saw me in the morning. He rarely meowed at any other time (or person), but he would also sometimes start howling if he was left alone in the living room. After he died, his brother was very very clingy to my mom. Even now he still gets restless if she leaves in the morning for awhile and will wait to greet her at the door.
About two weeks after we had to put our cat to sleep we found a kitten sitting in our kitchen eating kitty food. Somehow she had managed to find a hole in the fence surrounding our back porch and decided to just walk right in (the porch was completely enclosed so our cats could not get out). Like the cat we had just put to sleep, this kitten was a short-haired tuxedo cat. It was rather crazy timing and a crazy coincidence.
To all you cat owners-in-denial, your cat does not love you. It acknowledges âthe human provider.â Should some other human take your place, your cat will be just fine, after a few daysâ acculturation. âYou,â as such, do not exist to your cat.
Whyâd they even do this experiment? Ainât nobody got time for that.
Cats are perfectly capable of distinguishing individual humans and reacting differently to them.
Whether itâs love or friendship or enlightened self-interest is precisely as undeterminable for them as it is for humans. (How do you know anyone or anything loves you? If youâre inclined to be cynical, you donât.)
I hate to dash your hope but there´s no sarcasm in this instant. There may be reasons to feel sorry for me but the relation I had with my late cat is not one of them, so don´t bother.
A cat I had as a teenager would refuse food and howl incessantly if I left home for more than two days. Nearly starved itself to death when I was at Boy Scout summer camp and drove my mother crazy. That cat was eventually murdered by a couple of dogs, unfortunately, or Iâd have had to smuggle it in to college.
Obligatory!
Attached much? Enough. 3:25 âYou going? OK.â 3:43 âAnd there youâre back. That was quick.â
The fact that you werenât too emotionally invested in your cats is why they werenât too emotionally invested in you, not vice versa. As the human, you had the control over the dynamic of the relationship, and buddy, YOU chose not to give a shit. Cats respond to extra attention and return it equally. They simply do not do it for no reason at all like dogs or your own children, because they are not wired to give instant devotion to a parent or top dog.
I feel sorry that they died and you werenât terribly sad. Those were some wasted opportunities for rewarding relationships to animals that, when given effort, are rich and complex.
I would tweak what you say about love not being a two way street to: Love IS a two way street, as the two sides do affect each other, thereâs a connection or circuit to speak of there, but what it isnât is a scale that has to be perfectly balanced at any time, if ever.
They simply do not do it for no reason at all like dogs or your own children, because they are not wired to give instant devotion to a parent or top dog.
Well that´s what I mean. I appreciate cats´ independence, didn´t mean I didn´t like them and have a relationship with them, but that kind of attachment can´t even come close to the attachment I feel for other people and that´s fine with me. Don´t worry, those cats wanted for nothing as long as they lived and that was quite long. When they died, I was somewhat melancholy for a day and then moved on. You´re sorry I wasn´t terribly sad? Uhm, ok, whatever floats your boat, buddy.
Different people respond to death differently, and thatâs just fine.
(Meanwhile, one of mine is making noises at the window suggesting heâd like to cause some death to something out there. Or at least catch and bite whatever-it-is; Iâm not sure heâs ever broken any toy more complicated than a bug.)
I doubt youâve ever owned a cat. When Iâve had to leave my cats in the care of a roommate, they moped. They are at home, lots of water and food, treats, and play with the roommate. But they still moped, acted lethargic, and one would spend 15 minutes a day wandering around the house, meowing. Checking every room and every closet. When I got home, they were all over me. I couldnât go anywhere without a parade for at least a few hours. After parade-cling time, they went back to their usual behavior. Iâve observed this type of behavior with many cats, both my own and other peopleâs. The provision of food, water, treats, and attention remains the same. But the cat is lethargic, eats less, gets oddly excited if they hear noises near the door. Maybe not love, but the cat cares a lot more about particular humans.
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