Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/04/27/dog-does-not-want-bath.html
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I always thought it was weird that dogs hate baths when they find stagnant ponds so thrilling. But seeing Phil’s captors, with their stressful barrage of conflicting stimuli, goes some way toward explaining it.
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What a long-suffering pooch.
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I think dogs hate bathtubs…and perhaps the smell of soap. I’ve had dogs that were quite happy to be hosed down on a hot day, but still resisted baths. But yeah, I think the “captors” were trying to make a video here, not bath a dog
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Reminds me of my “Summer of Resistance” staying at our family friends’ home. The dad thought I should learn to “properly” swim, and I resisted for weeks.
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I think Milo the cat is the unsung star of this video.
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Right? Hides behind the baby multiple times as if to say, “If you must give something a bath, take the kid!”
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A) I feel sorry for that poor dog. He is WAY too big for that house. He must feel like he’s wearing the frigging house.
B) They have TWO dogs that size, and a damn long-haired bird murdering machine. The floor of that house must be constantly buried in 3 inches of animal hair.
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Next video, I want to see them bath the cat… 
Fortunately, cat baths in my house usually follow incidents that leave the cat actually pretty grateful not to have to clean itself…
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I have taken on some Phil-like tendencies myself this past month.
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Those dogs aren’t that big, my brother and sis-in-law have a house not much bigger, and they’ve got a Labrador, a Pyrenean mountain dog, who’s almost as big as those two Malalmutes put together, several cats, and a varying number of ferrets, depending on age, etc. They also have several horses, so the dogs can go and jump in the horse trough if necessary, in the case of the Lab, it’s keeping her out that’s the problem!
Maybe the folks in the video should have got a Newfoundland, they’ve got webbed feet…
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“I can’t swim.”
“Can’t what?”
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Pretty much what happened. The first day, he tossed me into the pool, pointed to a pool employee, and barked, “Teach this kid how to swim!”
I knew how to dog paddle, and frog it underwater, but he wanted me to know how to swim properly. Our battle of wills lasted all summer.
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He thinks he’s being punished.
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Phil doesn’t want to climb into the tub - they should give him a riser on the outside to make the climb in easier. He also doesn’t want to lose his carefully cultivated odor; baths are very different from swimming in non-soapy water.
I had a dog that loved to swim. My girlfriend bathed him in a creek and he was so angry that he swam to the far side after the bath and glared at us for almost 10 minutes as he stood chest deep in the flowing water.
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Phil needs to go on an intense diet
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So my ex got a peach, a real sweetie of a dog, only he has the same issue. Oh I laugh and laugh, I even try to help, but oh, the lulz makes one weak when seized by the fit of laughter.
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I finally learned how to swim at boy scout camp, where instead of worrying about forms that I was way too uncoordinated for (YMCA always always started with crawl stroke), they were like “eh, try to get to that pole over there however you can, we’ll work on style later.” “See, ya didn’t drown.”
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Correct. A brush designed for ‘undercoat hair’ is key. Throughout the year, but notably in spring and fall the is a big shed. Some dogs have hair that never sheds ‘out hair’ and seasonal ‘undercoat hair’ and as depicted many owns think that their ‘baby’ needs a bath, however this tends to result in painful ‘matt’s’ or naturally occurring felt because the undercoating hairs bind with filth dander sweat god knows what!?!
This fine mutant dog needs hours of DRY brushing in front of a swamp cooler or AC with at least four types of brushes. Once molted fur/hair gone take them to a lake or river and throw a stick.
Repeat often.
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I don’t agree with their regular use, but a choke-chain would have speeded that process up no end. And eased the process of getting the dog out of the bath without wiping himself on every bit of furniture afterwards. Hosing the dog down in the yard is a lot easier. Wetter, in every respect, but easier.
