Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/06/07/doggone-it-donald-trump-kicks-puppy-slayer-kristi-noem-off-his-vp-short-list.html
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Noem: I fired on my dog!
Orange Shitgibbon: I fired her like a dog!
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All that performative sadism for nothing.
As for the others:
Tim Scott – “Would anyone really buy a [N-word] as VP?” [paraphrasing his behind-the-scenes comment on his reality TV show]
Ben Carson – Same as Scott, plus his crazy may be too much even for Biff.
Byron Donalds – Same as Scott and Carson, although his Uncle Ruckus nostalgia about Jim Crow and the “upsides” of slavery may appeal to Biff.
Doug Burgum – “Reek” Romney energy. Not really Biff’s style.
“Little” Marco Rubio – A good little lickspittle, takes abuse and keeps coming back.
Elise Stefanik – A vicious opportunist, and a woman would work as a token running mate for the sexist convicted felon.
J.D. Vance, Tom Cotton – These two genuinely worry me. Both are competent fascists who could use this as a stepping stone to the Presidency
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My guess? Trump’s campaign staff runs a thorough background check and vetting process for these eight candidates just to see TFG name some other candidate on a last minute whim.
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I agree with most of your assessments, except for Burgum, Vance, and Cotton. The competence and ambition of both Vance and Cotton is exactly why I think Trump won’t pick them. He doesn’t want anyone who might upstage him. He doesn’t want anyone people might start talking about being a successor. That’s how Republicans thought and worked before Trump, but it’s not how Trump works. Trump wants another Mike Pence, except someone who, when the chips are on the line, actually will go through with it and follow his orders, legal or illegal. And in that category, there is one candidate who almost perfectly fits the bill, and that’s Doug Burgum. He won’t ever upstage Trump. Hell, no one outside of North Dakota knows who he is. And unlike Pence, he’s not a lawyer, so he won’t be citing the law and the Constitution as reasons why he can’t go along with Trump’s schemes. My money has been on Burgum for about a month now, and I see no reason to change my bet.
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I hope you’re right, but Vance and Cotton are Neidermeyer/Marmalard “sneaky little sh*ts” who know how to flatter von Clownstick and put him at ease. Burgum is the most harmless of the bunch, and perhaps his showing up at the trial as a surrogate will put him over the top.
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Ivanka or Jared? Or maybe Donald Trump and Donald Trump Jr.? If he wants to be a king, why not try to start a dynasty of leadership?
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I don’t think Vance has a chance in hell of getting it. Trump may or may not have dementia, but he holds a grudge like nobody else. Remember the “psych” move he pulled on Chris Christie back in 2016, making him think he had a shot at a position in his cabinet? In 2016, Vance told Charlie Rose he was a “Never Trump” guy, and also at one point said “My God, what an idiot” in reference to Trump. He has since said he was wrong about Trump, but there’s no way Trump has forgotten that. He’s probably trying to figure out the best way to humiliate Vance. Cotton may have a better shot. But he’s a evil asshole, for sure.
ETA: And I’m sure Cotton will find a way to remind Trump of Vance’s past comments if he thinks Trump is leaning towards Vance.
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Allowing him to think that he has a shot at being Trump’s running mate (and get talked up as a likely choice), and not ruling him out until the last moment, would surely be the best way of humiliating him.
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Seeing Vance humiliated like that would be lovely.
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Now, you got me thinking that she purposefully inserted that anecdote to get herself off that list, thus avoiding the firing squad.
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Didn’t kill enough. If she off’s a few more she might be able to show she’s worth of being T-Bag’s #2.
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Oh no! Will Tim Scott have to import a different Canadian girlfriend to show off?
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Then again, in 2016 Vance also sent a Facebook message saying
which I’m sure that Trump would interpret as praise. So who knows.
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Kind of odd that puppy killing was a step too far for the Republicans- Hitler murdered his dog too, and they sure do love him. Maybe they only like it when men do it.
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Hitler ordered the murder of his dog. I’m sure at least Trump sees that as very different from a low life who would do the job themselves, which is practically manual labor.
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I don’t think Noem ever had a chance. I can’t see Trump picking someone who isn’t a cis-het white man that looks like he might be cast as the VP in a movie. Tom Cotton is my bet. Cotton is horrid (if that needs saying)
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I agree that Burgum of all people might have the inside track. He’s a governor, so he’s not a Total Looser, but he’s a non-entity otherwise. Cotton would literally shoot the Shiatgibbon in the back to get the big chair.
Oh, and there’s no way he’s picking one of his sons. Ivanka… maybe… but she’s been less than 100% loyal these last four years.
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Wow, now that would be long term multidimensional strategic thinking on an almost, but not quite, Musk-like level.
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I think if she had killed a protester she’d be leading the pack.
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